Busy as hell: November 2014
I walked into Pick Up Stix on Monday September 15th, 2014 expecting just to drop off an application and never hear from them, as I usually do. I got asked to do an interview that night. I met the manager and then I got a second interview the next morning. Before I knew it, they offered me the job and I finally began my first job. On September 16th, 2014 I was hired at Pick Up Stix and I also started a new babysitting job which would require me to babysit Sydney and Kelsey every Tuesday and Wednesday. So I basically got hired for two jobs on the same day.
This was extremely overwhelming at first, of course. My schedule went as follows; Monday: Philosophy and Biology from 8:00-11:40am, Tuesday: Babysitting from 1:45-5:00pm, Wednesday: Philosophy and Biology from 8:00-11:40am, Babysitting from 12:45-4:00pm, Thursday: Pick Up Stix morning or night shift depending on what week, Friday: Pick Up Stix usually 4:30-closing, Saturday: TV 104 class from 9:00-3:25pm, Pick Up Stix working from 4:30-closing usually, Sunday: Pick Up Stix work from 4:30-closing.
My schedule was so overwhelming and I went from doing nothing but school to taking on two jobs and school at the same time. At first I hated it, but after a few weeks of getting used to it, and finally getting a Sunday off, I feel more comfortable. And the money is great, I finally feel like a real adult. The kids that I babysit are so sweet. Sydney runs up to me whenever she see's me to hug me and it honestly makes my day. They are both very responsible kids and a ton of fun to hang out with. as for the job, it was very stressful trying to learn their menu and work the cashier and my first weekend working was insane. Even now after working there for a month and a half, they haven't officially "trained me", I have just learned everything from watching them. For a while I was having issues with one of my shift leaders because she kept giving me insulting compliments. Like she would compliment me on how skinny I am but then insult me by saying my boobs were flat, and she would make a scene out of it. She would ask me how old people think I am in a bikini top, and other uncomfortable things and she would make fun of the fact that I haven't had a legit boyfriend and I haven't had my first kiss and I was getting so fed up. I wanted to confront her about it but she was quitting soon anyway and I'm not good with confrontation. But I got so mad I could've cried or screamed. It's not her place to talk about my body like that and to make me feel insecure about things I've never been insecure about before. I guess some people need to insult others in order for them to feel better about themselves. I try not to let it get to me. The cooks in the back are the best, and one guy tells me to call him Dad and he is seriously the sweetest. He's the only one who hugs me when I come in and acts like he genuinely cares about me. He even calls me "sunshine" from time to time and it makes my day. It's the little things.
Taylor Swift released 1989 and I've been listening to it non-stop. She's full pop now which some people don't like, and even though I will always miss her country sound, I love this new style. This music will be the soundtrack to my life for the next 2 years and will forever remind me of this time in my life. I am balancing so many different things and sometimes I feel like I'm holding a ton of weight that might come crashing down on me, but I try my best to stay positive and keep a positive attitude. Especially now that I have such little time to do the things I love; like read or listen to music or edit videos, it makes me appreciate the little things even more. The other day I got into my first car "accident" at Walmart in the parking lot. I just got rear-ended by some teenage kid. It wasn't a big deal but it was scary for me, knowing how dangerous driving in a car actually is.
+ALSO, Taylor Swift liked my picture on instagram on October 27th, 2014 and I cried. I have been a fan of her since day 1 and I couldn't believe she finally noticed me. To make things even better she screen-capped my picture and posted it on her twitter! alskjdlaksa. I literally died. Taylor is my idol and I love her so much.
Even though having my first job is stressing me out and giving me insomnia and making me crazy, it also is a huge relief. I was so worried for so long about finding a job. I was looking for a job for nearly a year and a half and even though I'm not working somewhere I'd really like to, at least it is a start. A start is all I need. The pressure of getting a job has finally been lifted off my shoulders. But when old stress goes away, new stress always comes.
This was extremely overwhelming at first, of course. My schedule went as follows; Monday: Philosophy and Biology from 8:00-11:40am, Tuesday: Babysitting from 1:45-5:00pm, Wednesday: Philosophy and Biology from 8:00-11:40am, Babysitting from 12:45-4:00pm, Thursday: Pick Up Stix morning or night shift depending on what week, Friday: Pick Up Stix usually 4:30-closing, Saturday: TV 104 class from 9:00-3:25pm, Pick Up Stix working from 4:30-closing usually, Sunday: Pick Up Stix work from 4:30-closing.
My schedule was so overwhelming and I went from doing nothing but school to taking on two jobs and school at the same time. At first I hated it, but after a few weeks of getting used to it, and finally getting a Sunday off, I feel more comfortable. And the money is great, I finally feel like a real adult. The kids that I babysit are so sweet. Sydney runs up to me whenever she see's me to hug me and it honestly makes my day. They are both very responsible kids and a ton of fun to hang out with. as for the job, it was very stressful trying to learn their menu and work the cashier and my first weekend working was insane. Even now after working there for a month and a half, they haven't officially "trained me", I have just learned everything from watching them. For a while I was having issues with one of my shift leaders because she kept giving me insulting compliments. Like she would compliment me on how skinny I am but then insult me by saying my boobs were flat, and she would make a scene out of it. She would ask me how old people think I am in a bikini top, and other uncomfortable things and she would make fun of the fact that I haven't had a legit boyfriend and I haven't had my first kiss and I was getting so fed up. I wanted to confront her about it but she was quitting soon anyway and I'm not good with confrontation. But I got so mad I could've cried or screamed. It's not her place to talk about my body like that and to make me feel insecure about things I've never been insecure about before. I guess some people need to insult others in order for them to feel better about themselves. I try not to let it get to me. The cooks in the back are the best, and one guy tells me to call him Dad and he is seriously the sweetest. He's the only one who hugs me when I come in and acts like he genuinely cares about me. He even calls me "sunshine" from time to time and it makes my day. It's the little things.
Taylor Swift released 1989 and I've been listening to it non-stop. She's full pop now which some people don't like, and even though I will always miss her country sound, I love this new style. This music will be the soundtrack to my life for the next 2 years and will forever remind me of this time in my life. I am balancing so many different things and sometimes I feel like I'm holding a ton of weight that might come crashing down on me, but I try my best to stay positive and keep a positive attitude. Especially now that I have such little time to do the things I love; like read or listen to music or edit videos, it makes me appreciate the little things even more. The other day I got into my first car "accident" at Walmart in the parking lot. I just got rear-ended by some teenage kid. It wasn't a big deal but it was scary for me, knowing how dangerous driving in a car actually is.
+ALSO, Taylor Swift liked my picture on instagram on October 27th, 2014 and I cried. I have been a fan of her since day 1 and I couldn't believe she finally noticed me. To make things even better she screen-capped my picture and posted it on her twitter! alskjdlaksa. I literally died. Taylor is my idol and I love her so much.
Even though having my first job is stressing me out and giving me insomnia and making me crazy, it also is a huge relief. I was so worried for so long about finding a job. I was looking for a job for nearly a year and a half and even though I'm not working somewhere I'd really like to, at least it is a start. A start is all I need. The pressure of getting a job has finally been lifted off my shoulders. But when old stress goes away, new stress always comes.
Summer 2014
A lot of memorable things happened in the summer of 2014 such as: all the advanced screenings we went to, me creating a book instagram, hanging out with Grant for 6 days straight, Taylor Swift releasing her latest single Shake It off, getting a German Shepard for one days, Dad getting laid off and starting real estate, going to San Diego to see the Dodgers and going to Dodger stadium with Dad for the first time since 2007, the One Republic & The Script concert at the Hollywood Bowl (on June 5th), babysitting Claire and Mini across the street, going to the beach with Courtney, and becoming absolutely obsessed with books and reading. Even though we didn't go to Laughlin this summer (which sucked) and I had several failed attempts at trying to get a job again, it was still an enjoyable summer. I also became very indecisive again about my major and since dad started getting into real estate I thought I would too, so I signed up for a bunch of real estate classes in the fall and decided to change my major to business. I also took a History 101 online class over summer and for one project we had to go to Bowers museum in Santa Ana, which was interesting. We also had 4th of July at our house this year and we watched The Walking Dead #DeadWhiteAndBlue marathon with all the family which was fun! Brady brought his girlfriend over, Cordelia, and she was super nice and liked reading some of the same books as me. But with Shane and Brady our relationship has gotten significantly worse with them since Father's Day, and we just sopped trying to be friendly with them.
First, all the advanced screenings we went to. We saw "Edge of Tomorrow" in IMAX 3D for free and 2 days before it came out which was amazing! Then we saw Tammy, Into The Storm (with Grant), Barely Lethal (first crowd to ever see it and we got paid $10 cash each to see it), and The Best of Me (Nicholas Sparks new movie!!!!!). So that was really fun to do and we saved a lot of money by going to all of these screenings and we have meet new people at each of them. At the Barely Lethal screening we met this nice girl who was in college, and at the Best Of Me screening we met this nice girl named Kristie who is also in college and lives in Irvine.
Second, the Once Republic & The Script ( & American Authors) concert! One June 5th, 2014 we went down to the Hollywood Bowl and got to see these 3 amazing bands perform! It was honestly the best way to kick off summer (as I had just finished all my finals that day) and they were so incredible, I was blown away. I've been wanting to see The Script for years now, and they were even better than I was expecting. One Republic sang songs from their album "Native" and it was epic and the lighting was beautiful, and it was funny cause whenever Ryan Tedder messed up he would admit it and start over. It was an amazing night.
Third, when Grant stayed at our place for an entire week. We went to Six Flags with Grant during the last week of July cause he could get us in for free and Ava was at a hotel with her friends and couldn't go. We went and rode Goliath and X2 and Full Throttle, and had so much fun. Then we got a hotel room for the night and we went down to the pool and it was amazing and so much fun. We played Monopoly as Mom cried over The Bachelorette, and we planned on going to Santa Monica the next day but decided against it due to thunder storms and lightning in Venice. So we took Grant back to Corona and he was telling us all about how money problems are really bad at home since Mike hasn't had a job in over 3 years, and he's even taking money from Grant and Shelly. We decided to have fun with Grant so we went ice skating which was really fun, and then the next night we took him to the Into The Storm screening with us in Orange! Grant didn't even bring his laptop so we just got to hang out with him for a few days which was really fun. We watched those videos of people eating nasty flavored jelly bellys and it was hilarious.
Fourth, we got this German Shepard named Isis for one day from Rachel's friend. There was some miss-communication between Rachel's friend Spencer and his grandma apparently but he said we could have her for free and she was only 9 months old. We brought her back to our house, and we had her meet Roxy and Dad and everything was great. She was such a beautiful dog, but then at around 9pm, he said they wanted her back because his grandma wanted her back. It was heart breaking because for a good 6 hours we thought she was ours. Mom had already made plans for her friends to come over and meet the dog. She stayed the night with us and the next morning around 9am, the grandma came and picked up the dog and that was that. It was sad, and Mom took it really hard. She kept crying and I felt so bad, but I didn't allow myself to get too attached just in case. It ruined Rachel's friendship with the guy, and I doubt we'll get another dog.
Other things that stick out about the summer was babysitting the little girls Claire and Mini across the street. So far we have babysat them twice, and each time they seem to love us just as much as we love them. They always say "I love you" which is too cute and they love to be picked up and thrown around. I really love spending time with them. I also saw Kimmie and we went to Coldstone together. I also changed my Taylor/Selena instagram to a book instagram in June, and ever since I've gained over 1,000 more followers, and now I have about 2,500. I started reading around 10 books a month over summer and it's become one o my biggest passions lately. Mostly because since the Jonas Brothers broke up I have lost a lot of inspiration to edit videos and even write songs, so instead of doing that, I just read instead. Big Brother is finally really good again this year, and even though Zach (my favorite) got eliminated, this cast: Frankie, Caleb, Cody, Derrick, Nicole, Donny, etc. is a lot more entertaining than last years.
First, all the advanced screenings we went to. We saw "Edge of Tomorrow" in IMAX 3D for free and 2 days before it came out which was amazing! Then we saw Tammy, Into The Storm (with Grant), Barely Lethal (first crowd to ever see it and we got paid $10 cash each to see it), and The Best of Me (Nicholas Sparks new movie!!!!!). So that was really fun to do and we saved a lot of money by going to all of these screenings and we have meet new people at each of them. At the Barely Lethal screening we met this nice girl who was in college, and at the Best Of Me screening we met this nice girl named Kristie who is also in college and lives in Irvine.
Second, the Once Republic & The Script ( & American Authors) concert! One June 5th, 2014 we went down to the Hollywood Bowl and got to see these 3 amazing bands perform! It was honestly the best way to kick off summer (as I had just finished all my finals that day) and they were so incredible, I was blown away. I've been wanting to see The Script for years now, and they were even better than I was expecting. One Republic sang songs from their album "Native" and it was epic and the lighting was beautiful, and it was funny cause whenever Ryan Tedder messed up he would admit it and start over. It was an amazing night.
Third, when Grant stayed at our place for an entire week. We went to Six Flags with Grant during the last week of July cause he could get us in for free and Ava was at a hotel with her friends and couldn't go. We went and rode Goliath and X2 and Full Throttle, and had so much fun. Then we got a hotel room for the night and we went down to the pool and it was amazing and so much fun. We played Monopoly as Mom cried over The Bachelorette, and we planned on going to Santa Monica the next day but decided against it due to thunder storms and lightning in Venice. So we took Grant back to Corona and he was telling us all about how money problems are really bad at home since Mike hasn't had a job in over 3 years, and he's even taking money from Grant and Shelly. We decided to have fun with Grant so we went ice skating which was really fun, and then the next night we took him to the Into The Storm screening with us in Orange! Grant didn't even bring his laptop so we just got to hang out with him for a few days which was really fun. We watched those videos of people eating nasty flavored jelly bellys and it was hilarious.
Fourth, we got this German Shepard named Isis for one day from Rachel's friend. There was some miss-communication between Rachel's friend Spencer and his grandma apparently but he said we could have her for free and she was only 9 months old. We brought her back to our house, and we had her meet Roxy and Dad and everything was great. She was such a beautiful dog, but then at around 9pm, he said they wanted her back because his grandma wanted her back. It was heart breaking because for a good 6 hours we thought she was ours. Mom had already made plans for her friends to come over and meet the dog. She stayed the night with us and the next morning around 9am, the grandma came and picked up the dog and that was that. It was sad, and Mom took it really hard. She kept crying and I felt so bad, but I didn't allow myself to get too attached just in case. It ruined Rachel's friendship with the guy, and I doubt we'll get another dog.
Other things that stick out about the summer was babysitting the little girls Claire and Mini across the street. So far we have babysat them twice, and each time they seem to love us just as much as we love them. They always say "I love you" which is too cute and they love to be picked up and thrown around. I really love spending time with them. I also saw Kimmie and we went to Coldstone together. I also changed my Taylor/Selena instagram to a book instagram in June, and ever since I've gained over 1,000 more followers, and now I have about 2,500. I started reading around 10 books a month over summer and it's become one o my biggest passions lately. Mostly because since the Jonas Brothers broke up I have lost a lot of inspiration to edit videos and even write songs, so instead of doing that, I just read instead. Big Brother is finally really good again this year, and even though Zach (my favorite) got eliminated, this cast: Frankie, Caleb, Cody, Derrick, Nicole, Donny, etc. is a lot more entertaining than last years.
22 Jump Street Pre-Screening
On Thursday, April 3rd, me and Rachel went to a pre-screening of 22 Jump Street, and the lady at the ticket counter told us that Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill were gonna be there at the theater! We started freaking out because we couldn't believe it! We met these guys behind us named Dade and Tyler, and they were brothers who were 23. It was really cool cause we talked to them for nearly 4 hours. We found out they were actually from Fort Worth, Texas, what a small world! They moved to LA to become actors! It was really fun talking to them for so long. The one guy looked like a younger Chris Evans haha. The guy in the front of the theater mentioned that we were the first crowd ever to see the movie. Then, as the movie began, we saw people sneaking into our row, and we turned to look, and I saw Jonah Hill sit down, wearing a black hoodie over his head, and I freaked out! It was so cool, he stayed for the entire movie! I was fangirling so much because I love Jonah, and I locked eyes with him a couple of times when he was walking down the row! However, we didn't see Channing, but that's okay. The movie was so funny, and really good. I still think the 1st one was better, but still it was really hilarious. Jonah and Channing's bromance is so amazing haha. After the movie, I was asked to be in the focus group, and they asked us questions about the movie for 15 minutes, and Jonah Hill was sitting right behind us the whole time! It was so awesome! Then, they gave me and Rachel free movie tickets for doing the focus group! It was such an incredible experience! Not everyone can say they watched 22 Jump Street with Jonah Hill. We were also the first 100 people to ever see 22 Jump Street, which is such an honor!
Feb-March 2014
In February, I started my 2nd semester of college. On Monday's and Wednesday's I took "Human Development" and "English 101" from 11:15am-3:30pm, and then on Tuesday's and Thursday's I took "Math 105" and "Communications: Argument and Debate" from 8:00am-1:15pm. I really like my english class, even though I've had to write a ton of essays, one of them being a 5 page research paper on internet addiction. And my Math class is pretty cool too, and I'm good at it. But I really hate my Human Development and Communications classes. Human Development mostly because my professor sucks and I'm not learning much, and my Communications class because I hate public speaking and the website debategraph confuses the crap out of me. I've also made some friends in my Human Development, Communications, and English classes, which makes them just a little more bearable. On February 13th, me, Rachel, Courtney, and Courtney's friend went to a Demi Lovato concert on her Neon Lights tour and it was so much fun! We also saw Fifth Harmony and Little Mix. Nick Jonas also made an appearance.
Anyways, in February me and Rachel became absolutely obsessed with The Walking Dead. We watched 2 seasons in one weekend, and then we finished 3 seasons in less than a week. We caught up to the show (which at the time was on season 4 episode 11) in only 12 days total. It's seriously one of the most addictive shows I've ever seen, and I'm so in love with Rick Grimes, he's perfect. We also started watching Bates Motel on netflix and we finished that in a week also! So good!
In March, me and Rachel went to our first movie pre-screening in Orange and we saw "The Other Woman" with Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann! It was so good and we had so much fun! We also went down to Torrance and saw "Need For Speed" with grant and Ava, which was also really good! It was so horrible though because in March, we also found out that Jake and Staci are getting divorced, and our Aunt Tina has stage 1 cancer. It was really difficult to hear both of these things because I never imagined in a thousand years that Staci and Jake would ever get divorced! That's why she didn't come down for my graduation. It literally broke my heart, and it was really hard on me. Also to hear about our poor Aunt Tina. I can't imagine what she must be going through. /: Also, Mom and Dad are seriously considering moving to Fort Worth, Texas. Since Dad is retiring soon, we won't be able to afford our house anymore and they are already looking into houses in Fort Worth, Arlington, and Grand Prarie. They seem pretty serious this time.
I've been reading so much this year like a crazy person! In January I read 3 amazing books, then in February and March, I read "Always You" by Missy Johnson, "The Hypnotist's Love Story" by Liane Moriarty, "Finding Cinderella" by Colleen Hoover, "A Million Dirty Secrets" by C.L. Parker, and some of my new favorite books: "Into The Darkest Corner" by Elizabeth Haynes, "Until You're Mine" by Samantha Hayes, and "Dark Inside" by Jeyn Roberts. So now I have read 11 books in 2014 and it's only been 3 months! So exciting!
Anyways, in February me and Rachel became absolutely obsessed with The Walking Dead. We watched 2 seasons in one weekend, and then we finished 3 seasons in less than a week. We caught up to the show (which at the time was on season 4 episode 11) in only 12 days total. It's seriously one of the most addictive shows I've ever seen, and I'm so in love with Rick Grimes, he's perfect. We also started watching Bates Motel on netflix and we finished that in a week also! So good!
In March, me and Rachel went to our first movie pre-screening in Orange and we saw "The Other Woman" with Cameron Diaz and Leslie Mann! It was so good and we had so much fun! We also went down to Torrance and saw "Need For Speed" with grant and Ava, which was also really good! It was so horrible though because in March, we also found out that Jake and Staci are getting divorced, and our Aunt Tina has stage 1 cancer. It was really difficult to hear both of these things because I never imagined in a thousand years that Staci and Jake would ever get divorced! That's why she didn't come down for my graduation. It literally broke my heart, and it was really hard on me. Also to hear about our poor Aunt Tina. I can't imagine what she must be going through. /: Also, Mom and Dad are seriously considering moving to Fort Worth, Texas. Since Dad is retiring soon, we won't be able to afford our house anymore and they are already looking into houses in Fort Worth, Arlington, and Grand Prarie. They seem pretty serious this time.
I've been reading so much this year like a crazy person! In January I read 3 amazing books, then in February and March, I read "Always You" by Missy Johnson, "The Hypnotist's Love Story" by Liane Moriarty, "Finding Cinderella" by Colleen Hoover, "A Million Dirty Secrets" by C.L. Parker, and some of my new favorite books: "Into The Darkest Corner" by Elizabeth Haynes, "Until You're Mine" by Samantha Hayes, and "Dark Inside" by Jeyn Roberts. So now I have read 11 books in 2014 and it's only been 3 months! So exciting!
January 2014
January has been a pretty busy month! I started off the month with going to Denny's with Grant, Ava, and Rachel at 2am on New Years Day, it was epic. During the month of January I took an intersession course at college called "Counseling 101" and it only lasted from January 7th-30th every Tuesday and Thursday from 9am-4pm, which was brutal haha. But luckily it went by fast, and I met two new friends, Dylan and Erika which was awesome. I changed my twitter from "@JonasCanFly" to "@SwiftlyTatum" and I took down all the Jonas posters and things in my room. And I changed my @hotforjonas instagram into @legendarycelebs, and I started to become obsessed with Jake Gyllenhaal and watch every movie he's ever made. I watched Source Code, Brothers, and The Good Girl from Jake. I also watched The Wolf Of Wall Street, American Hustle, Her, Knocked Up, Don Jon, etc. In the first week, I finished the book "Gone Girl" by Gillian Flynn and it was so so amazing! One of my favorites ever. Then I also read and finished the book "Come To Me Quietly" by A.L. Jackson, and it was also really good and is also one of my favorites! I started the book "Tangled" by Emma Chase, and it is really good so far. I celebrated my 19th birthday by going to a hockey game with Courtney and Rachel, and it was so much fun! I also got a huge subway-sized White House Down poster for my room! Then for Rachel's birthday, we went to play Laser Tag at Laser Island in Upland with Courtney and it was so much fun! We played form 8pm to midnight and this black guy kept flirting with me and Courtney and following us around the laser tag place lmao it was so annoying. We also had NYPD on the night of her birthday, and we got tickets to go see One Republic and The Script at the Hollywood Bowl this summer! Me and Rachel tried to go to our first movie pre-screening down in Orange AMC 30, but then we found out we had to bring a child in order to get in, so instead he gave us free movie tickets to see anything we want at the theater, so we watched Anchorman 2 instead, and it was okay. I also started entering a ton of book giveaways on GoodReads, and I won my first book! It's called "Driving Lessons" by Zoe Fisherman, and it should be coming in the next four weeks! I was so excited! Rachel also got bangs and died her hair ombre style, and we went to Courtney's beauty school to do it, which was really cool.
December 2013
So it's finally December 2013, and since I last updated The Jonas Brothers have broken up, I went to a Selena Gomez concert with Rachel and Ava, I finished watching the Breaking Bad series, I started watching Once Upon A Time and Nashville, and I died my hair dark brown. I actually really love my new hair color, I feel like it makes me look older. I also read the books "Two Kisses For Maddy" by Matthew Logelin and "One Breath Away" by Heather Gudankof (on my iphone). I finished off my first college semester strong, and since I got all A's on my Astronomy tests, I was exempt from taking the final and I got an A in the class which made me very happy. I got a 'C' in Math 080 and a 'C' in Political Science. I studied my ass off for the final and I actually got a 'B' which is the best test grade I ever got in his class. The night before my finals was Mom's annual boutique at the house, so it made it really hard to study, but somehow I managed. The Jonas Brothers broke up on October 30th, 2013 and I cried all day long. Nothing has ever really felt the same since, and I feel so disconnected from them now. Joe wrote a tell-all article talking about smoking weed with Miley and Demi and losing his virginity, and it was so shocking. I feel like I don't even know them anymore. On Thanksgiving, Aunt Sammie actually came, which was nice since I thought the divorce would mean we wouldn't see her anymore. It was fun we watched We're The Millers with all the cousins, then Selena performed at half time and after dinner we watched The Conjuring on my laptop, which was sooooo scary. On November 6th, me, Rachel and Ava went to Staples Center to see Selena in concert! It was so much fun and Emblem 3 was pretty good and Selena did amazing! Then we waited outside of the venue for like 2 hours and she came out on the other side which kind of sucked. I'm now preparing for my next intersession class which is Counseling and I'm taking it in January. Then in February, I start my Spring semester classes. After talking to my counselor, I told her I either want to get a business degree or become an elementary school teacher. I feel like a lot of pressure is taken off my shoulders now that I sort of figured out what I want to do. In the past weeks, me and Rachel have become extremely obsessed with the show Nashville, it's so freaking good and we just started on season 2.
October 2013
So I've been in college now for roughly 2 months, and I've applied for over 10 jobs. I have applied for Petco, LA Fitness, Winco, Panda Express, BJ's, Bed Bath & Beyond, Target, Toys R Us, and had an interview at Five Guys. Nothing feels right, I really want to work at LA Fitness but now the owner has transferred and there's no openings. It just sucks. I feel like I'm wasting my time during the week. I only go to school Tuesday and Thursday and for the rest of the week I feel like I am wasting my time and stressing out. I still don't know what exactly I want to do with my life, and I feel like my time is running out to make a decision. Part of my wants to be an elementary school teacher, but there's no money in that, another part of me wants to get into marketing or the media, and another part of my still hopes to be a songwriter, I don't know what to do. I have been watching How I Met Your Mother and Breaking Bad religiously on Netflix. I met this guy named Blake in my Political Science class, and at first I thought he was so cute and that he might be into me because he purposefully sat next to me and was always starting up conversation, but now I think he might just be a flirt. Mom and Dad keep talking about Dad retiring, and then we would rent a house in California and sell ours, then when we have enough money we would move to somewhere like North Carolina, or somewhere in the south. I love the idea of doing that, but I'm just scared. Corona is my comfort zone, and it's really all I know. The thought of leaving makes me nervous. I also read 3 books in 3 weeks. I read "Girls In Trouble" by Caroline Leavitt, "The Sky Is Everywhere" by Jandy Nelson, and "The Longest Ride" by Nicholas Sparks. I've been reading like crazy lately. Aunt Sammie and Uncle Alan are getting a divorce, and it just feels weird. Alan is staying with Mike, and I don't know what we're going to do for the holidays now. Grant and Ava came over last weekend and stayed the night, and sometimes they make me feel stressed out. They kept asking "when are you gonna move out and go to a university?", and it just kind of insults me a little bit. It's nearly impossible to move out at this age if you don't have a job. I just feel pressure. I feel like my life is moving in slow motion while I watch everyone my age doing something with their life. But that's why I love how in HIMYM they say "you are the only one who can pull yourself out of your own pit". I can't let what other people think affect how I feel. It's just hard to sometimes.
First Day Of College.
My first day of college was August 27th, 2013 at Santiago Canyon Community College. I was so stressed out for this day, I got no sleep the night before, literally. I woke up at 5:50am, and then I had to leave by 6:45am because the traffic on the 91 is so bad, and I still didn't know the campus that well. So I left and I felt so much independence and freedom. I finally got their at 7:40am and parking wasn't a problem for me. My first class didn't start till 8:35am so I just walked around and sat on this bench outside. I kind of felt like an outcast, to be honest because everyone was hanging out in groups and I didn't know anyone there. I finally went up to my class at 8:15 for Political Science and everyone was sitting in the hallway, and then we went in a few minutes later. The desks are so small, I could barely fit my binder on the desk. I was stressing out because I was still on the waiting list for this class and I didn't know if I would make it in or not, but luckily there was only 3 other people on the waiting list there and we let us all in on the first day, which I'm so thankful for. My professor seems pretty cool, he's funny, but he talks really quite. Then he let us leave early at 9:40 when the class wasn't supposed to end till 10, so I was wondering around campus trying to figure out what to do. My next class wasn't till 11:50 so I had a lot of time to kill. I went to the library and I checked out all the computers they have upstairs which is really nice. It's quite and everyone is alone which makes me feel less lonely. I started to get hungry so I started walking over to the shopping center up the street and I called Mom and Dad on my phone to talk. I walked down to Taco Bell which was far and it was hot outside. I got my usual 3 tacos and then ate alone at a table. Then I left, and when I arrived back at the school, I asked the lady in the library how to get my ID. Turns out I had to have my picture taken in the E building so I went and did that and got my ID card. Then it was finally time for my Astronomy class at 11:50. The classroom was bigger because it was meant for 50 students, and my teacher is freaking hilarious. On her class syllabus, she put her username for a video game she plays and told us to like her Facebook page haha, she's really cool. Then right after that class was over it was time for my Math 080 class, so I went straight to the U buildings, and the class is from 1:30 to 4, which is really brutal. Right in the beginning we started taking notes, and talking about the software MyMathLab that we would have to use. Everything in college is so expensive, I don't get it. The classes themselves are around $130-180 and then the books and crap you need for every class is like $90 it's just annoying. The class seemed to last forever and we covered 3 sections on the first day, which meant loads of homework. I drove by Taco Bell on the way home to get a Pink Lemonade frostie during happy hour, and then I sat in the horrible traffic all the way home. I ended up coming home at 5pm. Overall, it wasn't a horrible first day, but it wasn't amazing either. I didn't expect to feel so much like an outcast, and feel so lonely, but I am happy with my classes, and I'm happy to finally be in college and get a move on with my life haha. I still don't know what I want my major to be, but for now I'm just going to stop worrying and enjoy life. I applied for two jobs, one at LA Fitness and one at WinCo Food Market in Norco. I really hope I get the LA Fitness job because I want to work in the Kids Club, and Dad knows the owners over there and they are trying to get me in! It's so crazy haha. I'm all grown up. :')
Songs of Summer 2013
Birthday - Selena Gomez
Wake Me Up - Avicci
Get Lucky - Daft Punk
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke
Here's To Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne
Best Song Ever - One Direction
Take Me Home - Midnight Red
Talk Dirty - Jason DeRulo
Roar - Katy Perry
Clarity - Zedd
Pretty Brown Eyes - Cody Simpson
Windows Down - Big Time Rush
Donald Trump - Mac Miller
Oh La La - Britney Spears
Crickets - Drop City
Wake Me Up - Avicci
Get Lucky - Daft Punk
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke
Here's To Never Growing Up - Avril Lavigne
Best Song Ever - One Direction
Take Me Home - Midnight Red
Talk Dirty - Jason DeRulo
Roar - Katy Perry
Clarity - Zedd
Pretty Brown Eyes - Cody Simpson
Windows Down - Big Time Rush
Donald Trump - Mac Miller
Oh La La - Britney Spears
Crickets - Drop City
TAYLOR SWIFT CONCERT
On August 23rd, I finally saw Taylor Swift live in concert! I've been wanting to see her in concert since 2008, and Taylor Swift is my idol, and my songwriting inspiration, so seeing her in concert was a dream come true. I was wearing my cut up tank Red t-shirt with a red bow in my hair, and a '13' on my hand of course. When we got to Staples Center, there was Swifties everywhere. Their outfits were so adorable and they all had 13's on their hands and lyrics written on their arms, some of them even had outfits from her music videos, like the "Not a lot going on at the moment" t-shit and fedora in the 22 music video. It was so amazing to see so many Taylor Swift fans. We waited in merch and bought a cute Red tour shirt, and then we took various pictures "with Taylor" at the Diet Coke booths haha. We finally got let in and we got free samples of her Wonderstruck and Taylor perfumes so we literally took like 5 samples of each because yolo. Then we had to ask like 10 of the workers how to find our seats, and we literally came form backstage to this premiere seats area, and we sat right under the premiere seats. It was crazy. Then Casey James came out and he did around 4 songs, and he was awesome. Then freaking Ed Sheeran came out and I was fangirling because it's always been a dream of mine to see him in concert too! He did so amazing, and he was the only person on stage which I find incredible. He is one talented little teddy bear hahaha. Anyways, I was waiting for Taylor to come out and then they started blasting "I Don't Care, I Love It" in the crowd and the cameras were panning over everyone and it was epic. Then American Woman came on, and I knew Taylor would be on after this song finishes. I was freaking the crap out.
Finally, the lights dimmed, and you could hear the beginning of State Of Grace, and bam, there she was. I was so in shock and I was so excited I was just screaming the lyrics and jumping up and down and I was so happy, I was holding back tears. Then Taylor went straight into Holy Ground, and they brought up these huge white drums that she played and it was so epic. After that she started talking to the crowd about how she broke the record for most nights a solo artists sold out in LA. As she was talking, Rachel rubbed my back cause she could tell I was getting emotional, and that's when I lost it, I cried so hard in that moment because I couldn't believe I was finally seeing her and I just love and adorable Taylor so much. Her performances were so theatrical and amazing like The Lucky One with the 60's movies theme, and then You Belong With Me with the red dresses and gloves and old fashioned sound. Then the intro for '22' showed clips of her growing up and it was so amazing to see how far she's come. She walked over to the other stage during 22 and then Ed came back out and they sang Everything Has Changed which was so beautiful. Then Taylor did Enchanted acoustic special for us! She did Sparks Fly next and she was hoovering over the crowd it was amazing! Then she brought out a surprise guest, which was ironically Ellie Goulding! I was excited because they sang Anything Can Happen together and I love that song so much. It's funny though because I just saw Ellie Goulding at the Bruno Mars concert on July 27th haha. I think I Knew You Were Trouble was one of the best performances I've ever witnessed in my life, it was so epic! With the violinist and the dubstep and the dancing and the sass, I was freaking out it was absolutely perfect and so cool. It was such a magical night that I will never forget.
Finally, the lights dimmed, and you could hear the beginning of State Of Grace, and bam, there she was. I was so in shock and I was so excited I was just screaming the lyrics and jumping up and down and I was so happy, I was holding back tears. Then Taylor went straight into Holy Ground, and they brought up these huge white drums that she played and it was so epic. After that she started talking to the crowd about how she broke the record for most nights a solo artists sold out in LA. As she was talking, Rachel rubbed my back cause she could tell I was getting emotional, and that's when I lost it, I cried so hard in that moment because I couldn't believe I was finally seeing her and I just love and adorable Taylor so much. Her performances were so theatrical and amazing like The Lucky One with the 60's movies theme, and then You Belong With Me with the red dresses and gloves and old fashioned sound. Then the intro for '22' showed clips of her growing up and it was so amazing to see how far she's come. She walked over to the other stage during 22 and then Ed came back out and they sang Everything Has Changed which was so beautiful. Then Taylor did Enchanted acoustic special for us! She did Sparks Fly next and she was hoovering over the crowd it was amazing! Then she brought out a surprise guest, which was ironically Ellie Goulding! I was excited because they sang Anything Can Happen together and I love that song so much. It's funny though because I just saw Ellie Goulding at the Bruno Mars concert on July 27th haha. I think I Knew You Were Trouble was one of the best performances I've ever witnessed in my life, it was so epic! With the violinist and the dubstep and the dancing and the sass, I was freaking out it was absolutely perfect and so cool. It was such a magical night that I will never forget.
I Finally Met The Jonas Brothers.
Dreams really do come true. After 6 years of being die hard fans, me and Rachel met the Jonas Brothers. We traveled out to LA on Thursday, the 15th and stayed at the Sheraton hotel in Universal City. It was a long, long night because I could not sleep because I was so nervous and excited. On the morning of August 16th, we woke up at 6am to get ready, and we were heading down by 9am. The people who work at Gibson Amp were making it very confusing for us, and they weren't very clear on what they wanted us to do. They told us to go down to the Box Office which is in a random parking lot that's super far away from the entrance, and while we were over there we met these 2 girls from Brazil. We decided to go wait by the guitar entrance and our Mom's would stay by the box office, so we went and then we ended up meeting these girls Amanda and Olivia. Amanda had bright red hair and she was insanely funny. We also met this Asian girl named Riley who was a crack up as well. We waited there for a while but then they told us we couldn't wait there because it was "universal studios operating hours" and told us the VIP entrance was by the Starbucks, which is way on the other side of the city walk. So we went and it turns out the vip entrance was there. We sat there for a long time and it was getting so hot outside, and then we finally got our vip passes, t-shirts, and bags! They told us to come back at 3pm for lineup for sound check. So we went to lunch with Amanda and Olivia at Subway, and it was really fun getting to know them, they are really awesome and hilarious. We finally lined up for sound check at 3 and it was a mess, the crowd was so big and people were shoving. We realized that our m&g bracelets had numbers on them, indicating what spot we would be in line. I had 12 and Rachel had 13. They called "1-20" and we pushed our way to the front, and made friends with the girls in line behind us. Then they had us line up outside the amphitheater, and it was soooo hot outside. This one nice lady funny let us wait inside. And then they let us in and me and Rachel realized we had front row for sound check, and we would be sitting directly in front of Joe! I almost cried at that point because I couldn't believe it. It took them like 45 minutes to start sound check, and waiting for it was giving me anxiety. They finally came out and started with "Drive" and I was freaking the crap out because they were so close. Joe started picking fans to ask questions, but the thing is you had to "sing your question" which sucked haha. But it was really cute. They sang Rose Garden, Time For Me to Fly, Falling Slowly, etc. It was an amazing experience to finally go to one of their sound checks.
After sound check, they cleared us out and lined us up to go outside for the meet and greets. Once we got outside, we saw Winston and Elvis and I ran up to them and started petting them and taking pictures! They were so adorable, and Winston was actually huge compared to Elvis. Then we started to form a line, in number order, in front of the door. Suddenly, Olivia Culpo walked out and I couldn't believe it because at the time, her and Nick had been rumored to be dating, but nothing was confirmed yet, so I was shocked. Rachel screamed her name and she waved at us which was so epic! I was freaking out because she's Miss Universe and that's kind of a big deal haha. We waited in line for what seemed like an hour, because all the contest winners got to go before us, which sucked. We made really good friends with this girl in line behind us named Austria. Papa Jonas walked out and hugged a fan and then left. We finally started to walk in and they made us leave our bags, and gifts on this table. We brought a baby blanket for Kevin and Danielle's baby, and Mom wrote a letter to Denise and gave her a gospel bracelet! We were finally making our way in and we could see their reflection in a window, I was starting to panic and trying not to cry. The one worker girl looked at me and she was like "Don't be nervous" and I was like "I can't help it, it's my first time meeting them" and she was like "oh my gosh welcome to the team!" which was really cool. We saw Frankie and John Taylor through these doors on the right where a party was going on haha it was awesome. Then we were finally getting up there, and I walked up to Derrick, their bodyguard, and was like "nice to meet you" and shook his hand, he was super sweet.
I finally turned around to the other side of the tarp, and Kevin looked at me with those shocking hazel eyes, and was like "Hi, how are you?" and he opened his arms and I hugged him. I remember hugging Kevin the most because he gave an amazing hug and I couldn't believe it. I could feel the warmth of his skin through his thin grey t-shirt, and then I hugged Joe, and I hugged Nick. It was all such a blur cause it was happening so fast. I just kept saying "I love you guys" and "thank you" over and over again. I was trying to think of something to say but they were so stunning and perfect in person it was distracting. Kevin looked at me and said "are you excited for the show?" and I said "yes" and then they started setting up for the picture so I was like oh okay, and then I squeezed in between Joe and Nick and we took the picture, and I was gone. As soon as I was out of their sight, I cried so hard, it was embarrassing. The nice worker lady who was giving me advice earlier was like "oh my god do you need a hug?" And I just cried on her shoulder when she hugged me. Then the ladies started handing us posters and everything but I couldn't breathe and I was crying so hard, people in the line were staring. Then out friend, Austria came out and she gave me a huge too. It was such an incredible feeling to know I had finally met them, and they took time out of there day for me. Nick was extremely intimidating in person and that's honestly all I remember about meeting him. It honestly went by so fast, it was less than 30 seconds. But it was still the best day ever.
For the concert, we had 3rd row which was incredible! Olivia Somerlyn opened, then Mike Tompkins, and then Karmin came out and all of them did so amazing and were so entertaining, we were standing the whole time. Then the Jonas Brothers came out, opening with First Time and they put on an amazing show. We were sitting directly in front of Kevin, and I loved seeing his smile so up close, he was so beautiful. We even got "Stay" at our concert, which is rare for Nick to sing now-a-days so I felt special. It was an amazing night that I will never forget.
After sound check, they cleared us out and lined us up to go outside for the meet and greets. Once we got outside, we saw Winston and Elvis and I ran up to them and started petting them and taking pictures! They were so adorable, and Winston was actually huge compared to Elvis. Then we started to form a line, in number order, in front of the door. Suddenly, Olivia Culpo walked out and I couldn't believe it because at the time, her and Nick had been rumored to be dating, but nothing was confirmed yet, so I was shocked. Rachel screamed her name and she waved at us which was so epic! I was freaking out because she's Miss Universe and that's kind of a big deal haha. We waited in line for what seemed like an hour, because all the contest winners got to go before us, which sucked. We made really good friends with this girl in line behind us named Austria. Papa Jonas walked out and hugged a fan and then left. We finally started to walk in and they made us leave our bags, and gifts on this table. We brought a baby blanket for Kevin and Danielle's baby, and Mom wrote a letter to Denise and gave her a gospel bracelet! We were finally making our way in and we could see their reflection in a window, I was starting to panic and trying not to cry. The one worker girl looked at me and she was like "Don't be nervous" and I was like "I can't help it, it's my first time meeting them" and she was like "oh my gosh welcome to the team!" which was really cool. We saw Frankie and John Taylor through these doors on the right where a party was going on haha it was awesome. Then we were finally getting up there, and I walked up to Derrick, their bodyguard, and was like "nice to meet you" and shook his hand, he was super sweet.
I finally turned around to the other side of the tarp, and Kevin looked at me with those shocking hazel eyes, and was like "Hi, how are you?" and he opened his arms and I hugged him. I remember hugging Kevin the most because he gave an amazing hug and I couldn't believe it. I could feel the warmth of his skin through his thin grey t-shirt, and then I hugged Joe, and I hugged Nick. It was all such a blur cause it was happening so fast. I just kept saying "I love you guys" and "thank you" over and over again. I was trying to think of something to say but they were so stunning and perfect in person it was distracting. Kevin looked at me and said "are you excited for the show?" and I said "yes" and then they started setting up for the picture so I was like oh okay, and then I squeezed in between Joe and Nick and we took the picture, and I was gone. As soon as I was out of their sight, I cried so hard, it was embarrassing. The nice worker lady who was giving me advice earlier was like "oh my god do you need a hug?" And I just cried on her shoulder when she hugged me. Then the ladies started handing us posters and everything but I couldn't breathe and I was crying so hard, people in the line were staring. Then out friend, Austria came out and she gave me a huge too. It was such an incredible feeling to know I had finally met them, and they took time out of there day for me. Nick was extremely intimidating in person and that's honestly all I remember about meeting him. It honestly went by so fast, it was less than 30 seconds. But it was still the best day ever.
For the concert, we had 3rd row which was incredible! Olivia Somerlyn opened, then Mike Tompkins, and then Karmin came out and all of them did so amazing and were so entertaining, we were standing the whole time. Then the Jonas Brothers came out, opening with First Time and they put on an amazing show. We were sitting directly in front of Kevin, and I loved seeing his smile so up close, he was so beautiful. We even got "Stay" at our concert, which is rare for Nick to sing now-a-days so I felt special. It was an amazing night that I will never forget.
July Adventures.
July has been a crazy month for me. It started off with cavitiy fillings on the 1st and I almost had a root canal and I seriously almost cried again. Then, one of my favorite holidays, Independence Day! We celebrated it at Papa's house with burgers, hotdogs, and of course fireworks! #MERICA It was a very fun day. Then right after 4th of July, Grant andAva came home with us that night and they stayed at our house for 4 days. We saw White House Down with them in theaters which is an amazing movie btw because America and CHANNING TATUM OKAY. That movie is beyond perfect. We had so much fun with them, Grant ad Ava are literally like my brother and sister. I am very close to them. Then one day, when I was driving on the freeway in my car, some guy pulled up on the left side of me and did a wheelie and was trying to impress me, and kept looking back at e and giving me a thumbs up, it was adorable and it made me feel good... I don't know why. Maybe it's just because someone of the opposite sex actually noticed me, and even hit on me? Our Wii broke for a bit and it couldn't read disks so we took it in and got it fixed and me and Rachel stayed up till 3am playing Call Of Duty hahaha it was bad. I finally got a pair of high waisted shorts from Charlotte Rousee that I've been wanting forever and they are super cute. Then, suddenly on July 13th, Cory Monetieth, the super popular and famous Glee star passed away suddenly after an overdose in his hotel room. It was super intense and the first big death of my generation which is scary. Him and Lea Michelle were engaged, and it's extremely devastating that all this had to happen. /:
Laughlin/Vegas Trip
We finally went down to Laughlin on July 15th, and we went to the Riverside and me and Dad bowled against each other, and I threw 3 strikes, but then Dad ended up beating me at the end haha damn! Then we went with Mom and Dad and saw White House Down again because it's so perfect, and they both really loved it which makes me happy. :) Then the next day we got to go jetskiing! We got an extra fast jetski this year that got up to 70mph, which is extremely fast. I was driving it at 50mph on the left side of the river, right after we ate McDonald's, and then I lost control of the jetski, and we both went flying and tumbling into the water. It hurt sooo badly and I got the worst whiplash I've ever had in my life. The life vest literally saved us both from drowning because I could not swim. The current was really strong and I was in shock. The jetskii was about 20 feet ahead of us, and not matter how hard I tried to swim I wasn't moving. A nice lady ending up helping us and helping us get back on our jetskii. After that I was kind of afraid of going back out on it. My whole body was shaking and I really was fighting the urge to cry. I had never been that afraid of open water before that day. The next day, we went down to Vegas, and we stayed at the Paris hotel for the first time! The rooms were beautiful and huge and the pool was directly beneath the eiffel tower, it was beautiful. I couldn't stop thinking about my neck though, and I was putting ice on it all night, it hurt sooo badly just to touch it and when I laid down, it killed me to try and lift my head. I was in a lot of pain. And of course this year while we were in Laughlin the Jonas brothers came out with the First Time music video, Demi Lovato came out with the Made In The USA music video, and Selena Gomez came out with the Slow Down music video. My idols always release things when I'm on vacation and have no wifi. Those assholes lmao. And Selena's "Stars Dance" album is out and I mostly love all the songs, it's by far her best album! I'm obsessed with Birthday, Undercover, & Nobody Does It Like You.
RIP Andy Peck
When we got back, we found out that our great Uncle Andy (Sammy's Dad) had passed away and we had to attend his funeral the day after we got back. It was by far the saddest funeral I've ever been to. Aunt Sammy gave a speech and she was crying and trembling, and I cried so hard because I felt so bad for her. Even Brady and Grant were crying so hard and it physically hurt to see my family in so much pain. It was also an open casket, so we went up to see his body. It's the first corpse I've ever seen in person, and it kind of changes you. It's so hard to wrap your mind around the thought of death, and even when I saw him, I imagined that he was just sleeping. It's so crazy to believe he's actually gone, and there's no soul left in his limp, lifeless body. /: RIP Andy Peck. The next Monday, there was the burial at the Riverside graveyard, so Grant and Ava came over to hang out with me instead of going and Rachel was at Disneyland with a friend. It was fun to hang out with them, and I helped Grant edit a video on sony vegas. :) And Ava is really starting to become an obsessed Demi fan haha it's adorable.
BRUNO MARS / ELLIE GOULDING CONCERT
Omg so on July 27th, 2013 me and my friend Kimmie from high school went down to LA to see Bruno Mars and Ellie Goulding at Staples Center! We got there really early, and we ate at this restaurant and they gave us like raw meat and I thought I got food poisoning and I gagged twice and I almost threw up like it was so bad and I was embarrassed. Then we went to the Grammy Museum, and I felt so inspired because they had some classic songs written by Frank Sinatra and Johnny Cash that were written on notebook paper, and framed in the museum. It inspired me so much because I write my songs that way, and it's encouraging to think one of my songs could be on display there too someday haha. Anyways, we went to go stand in line and got out merch shirts and bracelets, and we had terrible luck with lines, and I couldn't bring my camera inside, I had to drop it off at guest services. But then once we got inside , our seats were at the top but we had great seats! When Ellie Goulding came on, I was so surprised. She just had a tank top and shorts on, and her voice was so amazing, and she was very energetic and exciting to watch! I really loved her songs live, she played this epic huge drum and it was incredible. She was by far the best opening act I've ever seen, I could watch her for hours! When she performed "Anything Can Happen" I lost my shit because I love that song so much hahaha. Then intermission was about 40 minutes and Bruno came on at 9:15. He was absolutely amazing!!! I was so impressed with how passionate he was about the music, and in every single song he had the whole band dancing to the beat, and the lights were bright and beautiful, it was just amazing. He cried during "When I Was Your Man" and it made me cry like a baby haha. I think my favorite performance was "Runaway Baby" or "Just The Way You Are" because Runaway Baby had the cutest intro where the whole band was flirting with a girl in the front row and it was really sweet, and then in the song they had this epic dance session with the lights flickering like crazy it was amazing! Then, in Just The Way You Are he just got the whole crowd to sing along and chant with him and he made everyone feel beautiful and good about themselves! Then of course, he encored by coming out on the drums and doing an epic solo that lasted like 5 minutes, and then he went into Locked Out Of Heaven which had crazy confetti and it was freaking amazing! He closed with Gorilla which has fireworks during the performance and it was really, really incredible! It was one f the best concerts I've ever been to, and I'm so honored to have seen him live, and see the Moonshine Jungle Tour in person haha. It was an unforgettable night.
Laughlin/Vegas Trip
We finally went down to Laughlin on July 15th, and we went to the Riverside and me and Dad bowled against each other, and I threw 3 strikes, but then Dad ended up beating me at the end haha damn! Then we went with Mom and Dad and saw White House Down again because it's so perfect, and they both really loved it which makes me happy. :) Then the next day we got to go jetskiing! We got an extra fast jetski this year that got up to 70mph, which is extremely fast. I was driving it at 50mph on the left side of the river, right after we ate McDonald's, and then I lost control of the jetski, and we both went flying and tumbling into the water. It hurt sooo badly and I got the worst whiplash I've ever had in my life. The life vest literally saved us both from drowning because I could not swim. The current was really strong and I was in shock. The jetskii was about 20 feet ahead of us, and not matter how hard I tried to swim I wasn't moving. A nice lady ending up helping us and helping us get back on our jetskii. After that I was kind of afraid of going back out on it. My whole body was shaking and I really was fighting the urge to cry. I had never been that afraid of open water before that day. The next day, we went down to Vegas, and we stayed at the Paris hotel for the first time! The rooms were beautiful and huge and the pool was directly beneath the eiffel tower, it was beautiful. I couldn't stop thinking about my neck though, and I was putting ice on it all night, it hurt sooo badly just to touch it and when I laid down, it killed me to try and lift my head. I was in a lot of pain. And of course this year while we were in Laughlin the Jonas brothers came out with the First Time music video, Demi Lovato came out with the Made In The USA music video, and Selena Gomez came out with the Slow Down music video. My idols always release things when I'm on vacation and have no wifi. Those assholes lmao. And Selena's "Stars Dance" album is out and I mostly love all the songs, it's by far her best album! I'm obsessed with Birthday, Undercover, & Nobody Does It Like You.
RIP Andy Peck
When we got back, we found out that our great Uncle Andy (Sammy's Dad) had passed away and we had to attend his funeral the day after we got back. It was by far the saddest funeral I've ever been to. Aunt Sammy gave a speech and she was crying and trembling, and I cried so hard because I felt so bad for her. Even Brady and Grant were crying so hard and it physically hurt to see my family in so much pain. It was also an open casket, so we went up to see his body. It's the first corpse I've ever seen in person, and it kind of changes you. It's so hard to wrap your mind around the thought of death, and even when I saw him, I imagined that he was just sleeping. It's so crazy to believe he's actually gone, and there's no soul left in his limp, lifeless body. /: RIP Andy Peck. The next Monday, there was the burial at the Riverside graveyard, so Grant and Ava came over to hang out with me instead of going and Rachel was at Disneyland with a friend. It was fun to hang out with them, and I helped Grant edit a video on sony vegas. :) And Ava is really starting to become an obsessed Demi fan haha it's adorable.
BRUNO MARS / ELLIE GOULDING CONCERT
Omg so on July 27th, 2013 me and my friend Kimmie from high school went down to LA to see Bruno Mars and Ellie Goulding at Staples Center! We got there really early, and we ate at this restaurant and they gave us like raw meat and I thought I got food poisoning and I gagged twice and I almost threw up like it was so bad and I was embarrassed. Then we went to the Grammy Museum, and I felt so inspired because they had some classic songs written by Frank Sinatra and Johnny Cash that were written on notebook paper, and framed in the museum. It inspired me so much because I write my songs that way, and it's encouraging to think one of my songs could be on display there too someday haha. Anyways, we went to go stand in line and got out merch shirts and bracelets, and we had terrible luck with lines, and I couldn't bring my camera inside, I had to drop it off at guest services. But then once we got inside , our seats were at the top but we had great seats! When Ellie Goulding came on, I was so surprised. She just had a tank top and shorts on, and her voice was so amazing, and she was very energetic and exciting to watch! I really loved her songs live, she played this epic huge drum and it was incredible. She was by far the best opening act I've ever seen, I could watch her for hours! When she performed "Anything Can Happen" I lost my shit because I love that song so much hahaha. Then intermission was about 40 minutes and Bruno came on at 9:15. He was absolutely amazing!!! I was so impressed with how passionate he was about the music, and in every single song he had the whole band dancing to the beat, and the lights were bright and beautiful, it was just amazing. He cried during "When I Was Your Man" and it made me cry like a baby haha. I think my favorite performance was "Runaway Baby" or "Just The Way You Are" because Runaway Baby had the cutest intro where the whole band was flirting with a girl in the front row and it was really sweet, and then in the song they had this epic dance session with the lights flickering like crazy it was amazing! Then, in Just The Way You Are he just got the whole crowd to sing along and chant with him and he made everyone feel beautiful and good about themselves! Then of course, he encored by coming out on the drums and doing an epic solo that lasted like 5 minutes, and then he went into Locked Out Of Heaven which had crazy confetti and it was freaking amazing! He closed with Gorilla which has fireworks during the performance and it was really, really incredible! It was one f the best concerts I've ever been to, and I'm so honored to have seen him live, and see the Moonshine Jungle Tour in person haha. It was an unforgettable night.
Father's Day & Stress About My Future
So we had Father's Day down in Torrance, and we also celebrated Grant and Brady promoting from middle school to high school. On the actual Father's Day we went and saw "Now You See Me" in theaters with Dad which was such a good movie, one of the best I've seen. It blew my mind and there were so many twists! Even Dad really loved it which says a lot.
Since I've graduated high school, I've been feeling so much stress and uncertainty about starting college. I've been having nightmares a lot, probably due to stress and I keep getting these things called tonsil stones and it's so gross. I feel so much pressure to get a job, because now that I have a car, I need to pay for gas at some point, and I can't live off the $500 I made in graduation money forever. I just have so much anxiety about college because they make i so confusing about when you can register and how to apply and all this stuff. Not to mention I don't even have the slightest clue what I want to major in and what I want to do with m life, which adds a lot of pressure. I know I shouldn't be stressed out because I'm so young and this should be an exciting time, and it is exciting but it's also getting very real and scary to me that I am growing up. Yes, I am happy to be done with high school, but the thought of never returning to Santiago and getting thrown out into the real world and expected to make a living for myself is a scary thought. I guess it's just all come on so quickly where I have to start making decisions about my future, and I don't know what I want. I change my mind everyday. One day I am positive I want to be a songwriter, but the the next I doubt myself. One day I want to major in psychology, but I have no desire to be a shrink. Then I think I can do something in the media, like advertisement or marketing, or maybe even work for a magazine, but I am so lost when it comes to deciding on one thing because I fear that I am gonna regret it. I am just so sick of this stress about my future and the nightmares I keep having, and the pressure to get a job. That's why this summer feels different for me. I don't feel so careless and happy like I have in previous summers. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Since I've graduated high school, I've been feeling so much stress and uncertainty about starting college. I've been having nightmares a lot, probably due to stress and I keep getting these things called tonsil stones and it's so gross. I feel so much pressure to get a job, because now that I have a car, I need to pay for gas at some point, and I can't live off the $500 I made in graduation money forever. I just have so much anxiety about college because they make i so confusing about when you can register and how to apply and all this stuff. Not to mention I don't even have the slightest clue what I want to major in and what I want to do with m life, which adds a lot of pressure. I know I shouldn't be stressed out because I'm so young and this should be an exciting time, and it is exciting but it's also getting very real and scary to me that I am growing up. Yes, I am happy to be done with high school, but the thought of never returning to Santiago and getting thrown out into the real world and expected to make a living for myself is a scary thought. I guess it's just all come on so quickly where I have to start making decisions about my future, and I don't know what I want. I change my mind everyday. One day I am positive I want to be a songwriter, but the the next I doubt myself. One day I want to major in psychology, but I have no desire to be a shrink. Then I think I can do something in the media, like advertisement or marketing, or maybe even work for a magazine, but I am so lost when it comes to deciding on one thing because I fear that I am gonna regret it. I am just so sick of this stress about my future and the nightmares I keep having, and the pressure to get a job. That's why this summer feels different for me. I don't feel so careless and happy like I have in previous summers. I don't know what's wrong with me.
High School Graduation
On May 29th, 2013 I finally graduated from Santiago High School. It feels surreal to even say, but I did. Grant, Ava, and Uncle Mike came down that Wednesday afternoon and the sun was blazing. I had to sit right next to Jacob Gilbert which sucked so bad, but it was the last time I'd ever be a student at Santiago and that felt scary. The night was magical, and I teared up during Mia Salazar's speech about the future and where we are headed. It was emotional for me. I finally got my name called and walked up there to receive my diploma and my family was cheering and I felt so incredible. As soon as the ceremony was over, they started blasting "Don't You Worry Child", our senior song, as we exited the stadium. I could not wait to get out of there because I no longer had to see anyone I didn't want to. I hugged Courtney and then I took off. After that I turned in my gown and then got my real diploma and my entire record and files from my entire time in CNUSD. It was crazy. I met my family in the chase parking lot and then we went back home to eat pizza and that was it.
The next day I had to go back to school in the morning to get my yearbook because they were so late, and I didn't get any signatures besides 2 and it sucked! We were going to meet up with Ryan and Sabrina and Pete and Allison at our house. We talked for a while and I drove them to ColdStone and it was really fun. The next day Jake and Lily came over and we all went to Knott's. Jake and Ryan went on Supreme Scream and Xcelerator with us and it was soo much fun they loved those rides! It was a great day! Then the next day was my graduation party, and in the morning Jake let us babysit Lily and it was the cutest thing ever. We got to change our first diaper and really experience what it's like to be a mother and I loved it. We got to feed her her bottle and her food and put her down to nap. It was a great morning. And then we saw Doug and Cali and their baby for the first time! It was awesome. Everyone went in the pool, and it was a great day!
That night we left for San Diego with Ryan and Sabrina, and we had to switch hotels because they couldn't hold our reservation. The next morning was the Rock N Roll marathon, and Ryan and Jake were running it. Ryan did the half mile (13) and Jake did the full marathon (26). After the run, Jake was not doing very well, and he was shaking and looked like he was going to faint. We decided with Ryan and Sabrina to go to San Diego Zoo, and we met up with some random girl on Craigs List for cheap tickets in a parking lot. We got to see pandas, elephants, monkeys (picking their butts) giraffes, bears, and everything it was so amazing! But there was soo much walking at the zoo so that sucked haha. Then after the zoo we went to Jake's brothers house, Justin for a bbq, and it was fun. Then after that we went to a local movie theater and saw After Earth with Ryan and Sabrina which sucked so bad. The next day we went over to Coronado island with Jake, Lily, Sabrina, and Ryan. We met up for lunch with Jake's brother at this place and Lily fell asleep on Jake it was really cute. The we all decided to go kayaking. Me and Rachel went with Jake in one, and Ryan and Sabrina in the other. It was soooo much fun. I got a paddle and it was a lot of work but it was amazing. My arms were soar for days! We even went under the bridge and got to go to a small beach area and jump in the water, and Rachel got tackled in by Jake hahaha. It was epic, but then when we got back, it got overcast and it was soooo cold outside, we were shivering cause we were still wet. When we got back to Jake's hotel we all jumped in the jacuzzi, and Lily even came in with us and she loved it! Then later that night we went to a mexican food place and I got the Cesar salad and it was sooo spicy. That was the last night we saw Jake and we had to say goodbye to him and Lily. It was hard.
The next day we went to Santa Monica with Ryan and Sabrina, we stayed at the Sheraton right next to the high school there. We went down to the pier and got Pizza Hut cause Taco Bell was closed and I was depressed, and then we went down to the water and the water was freezing. We rode bikes for a while but everyone got tired pretty quickly so we rode back. Then Ryan and Sabrina gave me and Rachel time alone on the beach which was fun, just messing around in the sand and such. The Ryan insisted on going to this place called "The Misfits" for dinner where they served hot water, gluten-free food, and nasty salty cookies. The gluten free food was so gross and expensive. And Ryan had his super spicy burger hahah and I almost made him cry lmfao. Then afterwards I got pinkberry at this huge shopping area and it was freezing cold outside. It was so funny cause during the car ride to Santa Monica we screencapped the Jonas Brothers song on Ryan's phone about 50 times so it went into his pictures like 50 times and it was sooo funn cause he finally noticed when we got back to the hotel and he was so pissed hahahahha. Good times. And that was pretty much our trip. :)
The next day I had to go back to school in the morning to get my yearbook because they were so late, and I didn't get any signatures besides 2 and it sucked! We were going to meet up with Ryan and Sabrina and Pete and Allison at our house. We talked for a while and I drove them to ColdStone and it was really fun. The next day Jake and Lily came over and we all went to Knott's. Jake and Ryan went on Supreme Scream and Xcelerator with us and it was soo much fun they loved those rides! It was a great day! Then the next day was my graduation party, and in the morning Jake let us babysit Lily and it was the cutest thing ever. We got to change our first diaper and really experience what it's like to be a mother and I loved it. We got to feed her her bottle and her food and put her down to nap. It was a great morning. And then we saw Doug and Cali and their baby for the first time! It was awesome. Everyone went in the pool, and it was a great day!
That night we left for San Diego with Ryan and Sabrina, and we had to switch hotels because they couldn't hold our reservation. The next morning was the Rock N Roll marathon, and Ryan and Jake were running it. Ryan did the half mile (13) and Jake did the full marathon (26). After the run, Jake was not doing very well, and he was shaking and looked like he was going to faint. We decided with Ryan and Sabrina to go to San Diego Zoo, and we met up with some random girl on Craigs List for cheap tickets in a parking lot. We got to see pandas, elephants, monkeys (picking their butts) giraffes, bears, and everything it was so amazing! But there was soo much walking at the zoo so that sucked haha. Then after the zoo we went to Jake's brothers house, Justin for a bbq, and it was fun. Then after that we went to a local movie theater and saw After Earth with Ryan and Sabrina which sucked so bad. The next day we went over to Coronado island with Jake, Lily, Sabrina, and Ryan. We met up for lunch with Jake's brother at this place and Lily fell asleep on Jake it was really cute. The we all decided to go kayaking. Me and Rachel went with Jake in one, and Ryan and Sabrina in the other. It was soooo much fun. I got a paddle and it was a lot of work but it was amazing. My arms were soar for days! We even went under the bridge and got to go to a small beach area and jump in the water, and Rachel got tackled in by Jake hahaha. It was epic, but then when we got back, it got overcast and it was soooo cold outside, we were shivering cause we were still wet. When we got back to Jake's hotel we all jumped in the jacuzzi, and Lily even came in with us and she loved it! Then later that night we went to a mexican food place and I got the Cesar salad and it was sooo spicy. That was the last night we saw Jake and we had to say goodbye to him and Lily. It was hard.
The next day we went to Santa Monica with Ryan and Sabrina, we stayed at the Sheraton right next to the high school there. We went down to the pier and got Pizza Hut cause Taco Bell was closed and I was depressed, and then we went down to the water and the water was freezing. We rode bikes for a while but everyone got tired pretty quickly so we rode back. Then Ryan and Sabrina gave me and Rachel time alone on the beach which was fun, just messing around in the sand and such. The Ryan insisted on going to this place called "The Misfits" for dinner where they served hot water, gluten-free food, and nasty salty cookies. The gluten free food was so gross and expensive. And Ryan had his super spicy burger hahah and I almost made him cry lmfao. Then afterwards I got pinkberry at this huge shopping area and it was freezing cold outside. It was so funny cause during the car ride to Santa Monica we screencapped the Jonas Brothers song on Ryan's phone about 50 times so it went into his pictures like 50 times and it was sooo funn cause he finally noticed when we got back to the hotel and he was so pissed hahahahha. Good times. And that was pretty much our trip. :)
Grad Night 2013
Grad night was an overall a magical night at Disneyland. It started at 3 in the gym which was kind of stressful cause it took me like half an hour to get to my friends, but after I found them in was awesome. We found our bus, bus #10, and then we were on our way. We sat 3 to a seat which was really hard because we had to squeeze. We didn't even get to Disneyland until around 5pm, and Disneyland was closing at 9pm, so immediately we went to get fast passes to Space Mountain. We called Courtney and Dany cause they were on a different bus, and of course Evan was with them. He had said originally he was gonna spend grad night with his new lady friend, but she probably already blew him off or something. So from that moment on he stayed there with our group the whole entire night. Which sucked. But anyway, we went to go to Indiana Jones first. Kaytie had never been to Disneyland before, which was cool for us to show hr around. The line was a super long wait, but we finally went on and had so much fun! Then we literally only had time to go eat and then go on Space Mountain. Everyone split up for dinner, and of course Evan decided to come with me and Kaytie to Pizza Port because he didn't want to leave my side the whole freaking night. So we had pizza which was okay. Then I got a Grad Night '13 shirt from a shop because it was so cute. We finally all met up to go on Space Mountain, and it was great. Me and Kirstie were able to pull off looking "asleep" on the ride hahhaa. Then we went over to California Adventures around 8:30 ish. From that point on Courtney and Dany went off on their own, and it was just me, Kaytie, Ryan, Kirstie, and Evan. It was funny cause on every ride Evan rode by himself cause I either rode with Kaytie or Kirstie and then they would ride with Ryan and Evan would be alone. We went into Cars Land and rode the new cars racing ride, on single rider, and I had to sit alone next to 2 guys from Santiago, but that ride was freaking fun. It was so cool and it felt like a real race and the animation was freakishly real. When we got off that one, they announced over the speakers that it was officially grad night and it was only seniors in the park and everyone went wild, screaming and hollering and music started blasting on every corner which was sooo epic. All the lines went down to 10 minute waits in the beginning which was amazing, we went to Toy Story right away and it was a 10 minutes wait and I played Kirstie and beat her 139k to 109k which was epic hahah. Then we went on Goofy's Sky School twice because there was no long and we were in and out of there so fast, It was very fun. Then we went to wait in the super long like for California Screamin' cause we had to wait for World Of Color to be over. Then we finally got in California Screamin and it was so much fun but Kaytie hated it and cried. Then, me, Ryan, and Evan wanted to go on Tower Of Terror but Kirstie didn't want to so she sat out, and we all went, dragging Kaytie along anyway. We waited in line for over an hour, along with seeing 2 lesbians eating each others faces off which was disturbing, and at that point my feet were killing me. I could barely stand anymore. We finally got on Tower Of Terror and ended the night on that ride. It was sooo much fun, I freaking love that ride. And Kaytie loved it too which was awesome.
Then we had to make our way back at 1:15am to the front, and it was a huge crowd that was taking forever to move. We ended up having to walk back to our buses ourselves, taking the trolleys back to the parking lot. It took forever to get on the trolley. Then when we finally went to our bus and got settled in, all comfortable, they tell us to get off again because we set some stupid intruder alarm off, and because on of the girls in our bus left grad night early with her Dad. Now she isn't gonna be able to walk at graduation! But they had to re-count us all and everyone was so pissed. The bus driver was an hour late because she thought she didn't need to be there till 2:30 it was just so bad. Then finally, at 2 something they loaded us back in and we took off for Corona by 2:15am. I tried to sleep on the bus, and Kirstie fell asleep on my shoulder. I was so tired and in so much pain, my back hurt and my feet hurt and my legs were burning. We finally got to the school at around 3:15am, and the parking lot was a mess trying to get out of there. I finally got home at around 3:25am, but then I talked to Mom and Rachel who were awake that late until about 4:30am. And then I had to take Rachel to school at 6:30am hahah so it was a hard morning.
It was overall a great and fun night with the minor pain in my legs and Evan being annoying. But he ruined my prom night and I wasn't about to let him ruin my grad night too. I didn't even realize until tonight that he actually bothers everyone else as much as he bothers me. Like they are just as annoyed with him as I am, and it made me feel relieved like I wasn't the only one so annoyed all the time. All of us thought he wasn't coming in our group so it kind of a let down when he just tagged along with us the whole night. And he was laughing so loud in my ear the entire night. I had to have so much will power to stop myself from screaming at him, and at certain points I did tell him to stop screaming in my ear. He's just so dramatic and he tries to be funny, but it's anything but funny. It's just annoying. But it's okay, because there's only 6 days till graduation now!
Then we had to make our way back at 1:15am to the front, and it was a huge crowd that was taking forever to move. We ended up having to walk back to our buses ourselves, taking the trolleys back to the parking lot. It took forever to get on the trolley. Then when we finally went to our bus and got settled in, all comfortable, they tell us to get off again because we set some stupid intruder alarm off, and because on of the girls in our bus left grad night early with her Dad. Now she isn't gonna be able to walk at graduation! But they had to re-count us all and everyone was so pissed. The bus driver was an hour late because she thought she didn't need to be there till 2:30 it was just so bad. Then finally, at 2 something they loaded us back in and we took off for Corona by 2:15am. I tried to sleep on the bus, and Kirstie fell asleep on my shoulder. I was so tired and in so much pain, my back hurt and my feet hurt and my legs were burning. We finally got to the school at around 3:15am, and the parking lot was a mess trying to get out of there. I finally got home at around 3:25am, but then I talked to Mom and Rachel who were awake that late until about 4:30am. And then I had to take Rachel to school at 6:30am hahah so it was a hard morning.
It was overall a great and fun night with the minor pain in my legs and Evan being annoying. But he ruined my prom night and I wasn't about to let him ruin my grad night too. I didn't even realize until tonight that he actually bothers everyone else as much as he bothers me. Like they are just as annoyed with him as I am, and it made me feel relieved like I wasn't the only one so annoyed all the time. All of us thought he wasn't coming in our group so it kind of a let down when he just tagged along with us the whole night. And he was laughing so loud in my ear the entire night. I had to have so much will power to stop myself from screaming at him, and at certain points I did tell him to stop screaming in my ear. He's just so dramatic and he tries to be funny, but it's anything but funny. It's just annoying. But it's okay, because there's only 6 days till graduation now!
Senior Prom 2013
Dressed like a princess, so why are the tears streaming down her face?
Prom night was interesting. I did have a great time, for the first 30 minutes that is. All the girls came over to my house at 11am to get their makeup and hair done by Rachel which was super fun, blasting music with them and getting pretty. I literally felt like a princess and it was great. I loved my dress, and I love how I looked. Then we went to take pictures at Dos Lagos and everyone looked so good as a group. But then of course, Evan had to make himself the center of attention once again by having Dany and Craig hold him and taking picture that way. It was so annoying. Then we went back to my house to eat, and Evan was the first one there with his parents. So that was pretty awkward, just me, him, and his parents. But finally Bri and Kirstie came and we ate Mom's homemade tacos and rice, it was so good. Then we finally left for Prom and it was so awkward in the car ride because it was just me sitting next to Evan with Bri and Kirstie in the back seat. We were literally the first ones there and we had to get checked by security on the way in. I literally was in "awe" when we walked in because of how cool the place was; they had a whole room dedicated to an arcade with pool tables, hockey air tables, and guitar hero/dance revolution, everything was there. Then in the main lobby there was an awesome photo booth and a ton of snacks. Then there was a huge dance floor on the right side, down a long hallway, and it was in the middle of an arena, which was really awesome. The first half an hour was so fun because we all went dancing and me and Kaytie and Kirstie were dancing all together which was fun, and Craig, Eva and Bri were there too, it was like a group dance and that was fun. It was everything I'd imagined prom would be. But then, Evan being the attention whore he is decides he's going to storm off because no one is paying attention to him. So Craig goes after him and it started causing drama in the group, because he's so good at starting that. I noticed my feet started cramping up really bad. It started in my left foot, and then as soon as I got it to stop in that foot, it would start acting up in my right and I was like aklsjlak are you kidding me? Like it hurt so bad, and it lasted the whole entire night when I was dancing. I couldn't even enjoy myself because I was concentrated so much on the pain in my feet. Courtney and Dany didn't even get there until 9pm which kind of sucked since it started at 7, because we wanted Courtney to dance with. But then I felt like the third wheel walking around with Courtney and Dany for a while so we went back into the dance floor and we were all dancing as a group again and it was great! But then Evan storms off - again, and sits at this table on the dance floor and starts crying. Everyone started freaking the crap out and running to him to see what was wrong and I was just standing there like are you freaking kidding me? Figures he would makes this night all about him ugh. My friedns said he was crying because I wouldn't dance with him, and I felt so much anger and sadness at the same time because I felt like my friends would've blamed me instead of him for causing drama when I did nothing. I just left the dance floor at that point and went in the arcade. From that point on, my night was ruined. Evan ditched out group do go flirt with some other girls - thank god - but even still, I felt like the 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel all night with Courtney and Dany, Bri and Kirstie, and Craig and Kaytie. Especially when the slow songs came on I just wandered around like a lost puppy going to get a drink because I didn't know what to do. And as much as my friends tried to make me feel included, I couldn't help but feel completely alone. I was holding back tears the whole night. And I even let a few slip on the car ride home. So I decided not to go to Denny's with them because it was past midnight and I was exhausted and tired of faking happiness. So I called Dad and he picked me up from Dennys. As soon as I got home I cried, and I don't even know why. It was just a bad night. And I could barely breathe in my dress, and my feet were crampy and killing me, and Evan was making me feel bad again and it just ruined my night. I felt so alone.
Prom night was interesting. I did have a great time, for the first 30 minutes that is. All the girls came over to my house at 11am to get their makeup and hair done by Rachel which was super fun, blasting music with them and getting pretty. I literally felt like a princess and it was great. I loved my dress, and I love how I looked. Then we went to take pictures at Dos Lagos and everyone looked so good as a group. But then of course, Evan had to make himself the center of attention once again by having Dany and Craig hold him and taking picture that way. It was so annoying. Then we went back to my house to eat, and Evan was the first one there with his parents. So that was pretty awkward, just me, him, and his parents. But finally Bri and Kirstie came and we ate Mom's homemade tacos and rice, it was so good. Then we finally left for Prom and it was so awkward in the car ride because it was just me sitting next to Evan with Bri and Kirstie in the back seat. We were literally the first ones there and we had to get checked by security on the way in. I literally was in "awe" when we walked in because of how cool the place was; they had a whole room dedicated to an arcade with pool tables, hockey air tables, and guitar hero/dance revolution, everything was there. Then in the main lobby there was an awesome photo booth and a ton of snacks. Then there was a huge dance floor on the right side, down a long hallway, and it was in the middle of an arena, which was really awesome. The first half an hour was so fun because we all went dancing and me and Kaytie and Kirstie were dancing all together which was fun, and Craig, Eva and Bri were there too, it was like a group dance and that was fun. It was everything I'd imagined prom would be. But then, Evan being the attention whore he is decides he's going to storm off because no one is paying attention to him. So Craig goes after him and it started causing drama in the group, because he's so good at starting that. I noticed my feet started cramping up really bad. It started in my left foot, and then as soon as I got it to stop in that foot, it would start acting up in my right and I was like aklsjlak are you kidding me? Like it hurt so bad, and it lasted the whole entire night when I was dancing. I couldn't even enjoy myself because I was concentrated so much on the pain in my feet. Courtney and Dany didn't even get there until 9pm which kind of sucked since it started at 7, because we wanted Courtney to dance with. But then I felt like the third wheel walking around with Courtney and Dany for a while so we went back into the dance floor and we were all dancing as a group again and it was great! But then Evan storms off - again, and sits at this table on the dance floor and starts crying. Everyone started freaking the crap out and running to him to see what was wrong and I was just standing there like are you freaking kidding me? Figures he would makes this night all about him ugh. My friedns said he was crying because I wouldn't dance with him, and I felt so much anger and sadness at the same time because I felt like my friends would've blamed me instead of him for causing drama when I did nothing. I just left the dance floor at that point and went in the arcade. From that point on, my night was ruined. Evan ditched out group do go flirt with some other girls - thank god - but even still, I felt like the 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel all night with Courtney and Dany, Bri and Kirstie, and Craig and Kaytie. Especially when the slow songs came on I just wandered around like a lost puppy going to get a drink because I didn't know what to do. And as much as my friends tried to make me feel included, I couldn't help but feel completely alone. I was holding back tears the whole night. And I even let a few slip on the car ride home. So I decided not to go to Denny's with them because it was past midnight and I was exhausted and tired of faking happiness. So I called Dad and he picked me up from Dennys. As soon as I got home I cried, and I don't even know why. It was just a bad night. And I could barely breathe in my dress, and my feet were crampy and killing me, and Evan was making me feel bad again and it just ruined my night. I felt so alone.
Asking Nick Jonas To Prom! :)
So I made this video of myself asking Nick Jonas to prom and listing 10 Reason why he should and it has since gotten over 1,000 views ans so much help and support from people on twitter it's just crazy! Last night (4/23/12) my friend @fearlessbcofyou decided we should hashtag something to help it trend. We decided on #NickJPromWithGabby and it was going slow at first, but then after I went to bed at 11:30pm IT TRENDED WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER OMG. I freaking died because I didn't know until I woke up. Somebody screen capped it for me though.
It's so crazy to me because I never thought in a million years that something like this could TREND WORLDWIDE for me on twitter! As of today (4/24/13) Nick still hasn't seen it. But I'm praying he does! He's filming his movie Careful What You Wish For right now! Even though I've been getting tons of support on twitter, I've also been getting tons of hate. And it really makes me sad. This one person told me to kill myself, one person said I sound like a man, someone called me an attention whore. Even this girl who I thought was my friend @twerkingjonas tweeted things calling me annoying and hating on me saying "he's not gonna go with you" "you're copying the other girl" and just stuff that is rude and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt me. Like why the hell am I getting all this hate simply because I am asking Nick Jonas to prom with me. It's not like he's even replied or seen it, so where is the wrong in asking him? People are just acting like bitches and it makes me sad and it makes me hope he replies even more because I hate that I'm getting made fun of for this. It really hurts me.
April.
Things That Happened This Month:
So this month has been amazing! The best thing ever happened. The Jonas Bros announced their VIP packages and they were only $250 which is the lowest they've ever been. (They're usually around 700-800) and Mom and Dad know how much we love the Jonas Brothers and how we've been fans for ever and never had the chance to meet them. THEY ACTUALLY SAID YES AND ME AND RACHEL FELL TO THE FLOOR CRYING OUR EYES OUT AND I COULDN'T BREATHE. But then the next day was pre-sale so it was intense. I stayed home from 1st period to get the tickets and I was nervous because I couldn't get my presale code right away and some people were having problems so I was tripping, Then it finally came time to do it and we almost lost them because we didn't know the password on Mom's ticket master account. We only had 5 tries before the account would freeze. On the 4th try, THANK GOD WE GOT IT. WE GOT M&G, SOUNDCHECK AND 3RD ROW TO THEIR SHOW ON AUGUST 16TH AND I FREAKING CRIED MY EYES OUT. IT'S STILL HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE I'M FINALLY MEETING THEM AFTER ALL THIS TIME. Check out me and Rachel's vlog about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-sxIczDc68
Then on April 16th, we got our Caps and Gowns and it was super emotional. http://instagram.com/p/YLOGEEmlWL/
On Mom's birthday I stayed home from school because seniors don't do cat testing anymore. We went to breakfast and watched Ready For Love and went to Buca for dinner and it was fun. And then Denise Jonas (Nick's Mom) replied to me on twitter that night and I DIED OMG. IT WAS SO UNEXPECTED AND I WENT INTO SHOCK. I am just so lucky this month of April hahaha.
Then the Senior Talent Show finally came along on April 23rd. I was extremely nervous because this was the first time I was performing in front of more than 10 people and it was in front of the whole senior body! I was performing "What It's Like To Be Loved" an original song on my guitar! And we had so many rehearsals that I stressed out over that didn't happen and it was a stressful process because ASB wasn't doing a good job with leading us. Then on the day I was the 5th person to perform and I finally went up and sang it. It was sooo much fun and even though I was nervous I thought I did okay because I didn't mess up. It was a rush, and so exhilarating! People were clapping along to the beat and cheering me on and it was everything I hoped it would be. http://instagram.com/p/YdQV0amlbM/
- WE FINALLY GOT JONAS BROTHERS VIP OMG
- NICK JONAS RT'ED ME ON TWITTER
- DENISE JONAS REPLIED TO ME ON TWITTER (4/17/13)
- SENIOR TALENT SHOW AT HIGH SCHOOL (500+)
- #NickJPromWithGabby WAS A WORLDWIDE TT ON TWITTER (4/23/13)
- Me and Rachel started a Jonas VLOG
So this month has been amazing! The best thing ever happened. The Jonas Bros announced their VIP packages and they were only $250 which is the lowest they've ever been. (They're usually around 700-800) and Mom and Dad know how much we love the Jonas Brothers and how we've been fans for ever and never had the chance to meet them. THEY ACTUALLY SAID YES AND ME AND RACHEL FELL TO THE FLOOR CRYING OUR EYES OUT AND I COULDN'T BREATHE. But then the next day was pre-sale so it was intense. I stayed home from 1st period to get the tickets and I was nervous because I couldn't get my presale code right away and some people were having problems so I was tripping, Then it finally came time to do it and we almost lost them because we didn't know the password on Mom's ticket master account. We only had 5 tries before the account would freeze. On the 4th try, THANK GOD WE GOT IT. WE GOT M&G, SOUNDCHECK AND 3RD ROW TO THEIR SHOW ON AUGUST 16TH AND I FREAKING CRIED MY EYES OUT. IT'S STILL HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE I'M FINALLY MEETING THEM AFTER ALL THIS TIME. Check out me and Rachel's vlog about it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-sxIczDc68
Then on April 16th, we got our Caps and Gowns and it was super emotional. http://instagram.com/p/YLOGEEmlWL/
On Mom's birthday I stayed home from school because seniors don't do cat testing anymore. We went to breakfast and watched Ready For Love and went to Buca for dinner and it was fun. And then Denise Jonas (Nick's Mom) replied to me on twitter that night and I DIED OMG. IT WAS SO UNEXPECTED AND I WENT INTO SHOCK. I am just so lucky this month of April hahaha.
Then the Senior Talent Show finally came along on April 23rd. I was extremely nervous because this was the first time I was performing in front of more than 10 people and it was in front of the whole senior body! I was performing "What It's Like To Be Loved" an original song on my guitar! And we had so many rehearsals that I stressed out over that didn't happen and it was a stressful process because ASB wasn't doing a good job with leading us. Then on the day I was the 5th person to perform and I finally went up and sang it. It was sooo much fun and even though I was nervous I thought I did okay because I didn't mess up. It was a rush, and so exhilarating! People were clapping along to the beat and cheering me on and it was everything I hoped it would be. http://instagram.com/p/YdQV0amlbM/
SPRING BREAK 2013
Things that happened this Spring Break:
We also watched "Rules Of Engagment" obsessively on Netflix every single day. It's my new favorite show. I started to drive around alone with Rachel for the first time yay! We went to the gym and then we saw Rachel's exes and my old crushes so we left. We also went to Wendys, Panda, Taco Bell, In N Out, you name it we went haha. We also went down to the batting cages and then we were sore for days afterwards hahah. And then the last Saturday we went to Aunt Sammies to celebrate Shane and Aunt Titi's birthdays! And it was just a great spring break! :)
- We met Andre Ethier
- NICK JONAS RT'ED ME ON TWITTER
- I GOT MY DRIVER'S LICENSE
- POM POMS SONG + MUSIC VIDEO CAME OUT
We also watched "Rules Of Engagment" obsessively on Netflix every single day. It's my new favorite show. I started to drive around alone with Rachel for the first time yay! We went to the gym and then we saw Rachel's exes and my old crushes so we left. We also went to Wendys, Panda, Taco Bell, In N Out, you name it we went haha. We also went down to the batting cages and then we were sore for days afterwards hahah. And then the last Saturday we went to Aunt Sammies to celebrate Shane and Aunt Titi's birthdays! And it was just a great spring break! :)
March Madness 2013
Life
It is now March 2013, and a lot has happened since I last updated. I finally got my permit on February 28th, after passing my adult permit test (again) haha I missed 4 questions when I was aloud to miss 6, so yay! Today, March 19th, I auditioned for the Senior talent Show, which I was super nervous about, but it ended up being great. Mom & Rachel were there and I was able to perform smiling and confident and I didn't mess up! I am feeling really good about it, and joining the talent show will be my first big step to spreading my music out there and having confidence in myself. The talent show is April 23rd, and I'm super excited for it. I'm becoming a lot more confident in myself and my music, and even made a facebook page for my music, and I want to start doing little shows over summer.
School
I joined journalism this semester with Kirstie and Evan and it has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. My first article "Study Buddies" was posted online and it made me happy. I've had to write articles on Scholarships, Bands at Santiago, Taylor Swift's new CD, and Parental Guidance so far and it has been interesting. I'm just happy to be out of calculus. Me, Courtney, Kirstie, Kaytie, and Rachel went prom dress shopping in LA a few weekends ago and it was very fun, I got the cutest dress for $79! Me and Evan are friends again and everything is fine, we even give him rides home now on 1-3-5 days. Our shark tv night last week was on open house night and BovieWares birthday, so we threw this huge celebration, and I brought balloons and cookies and we made posters, then the next day we had the biggest failure ever in Shark TV when the episode was supposed to air at 10:15 and didn't air till 2:15 due to technical problems, it was embarrassing. now we don't really even talk to Jessica anymore, because she spends every minute with Dylan, Chad, and Anthony, and we literally have lost touch completely. It's kind of sad. But we have gotten really close to Kaytie, and Courtney and Dany started dating, and now Kirstie is dating this girl Bri in our journalism class.
Popular Music
Thrift Shop - Mackelmore
Harlem Shake - Bauer
Don't You Worry Child - Swedish House Mafia
Sweet Nothing - Florence And The Machine
I knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift
When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars
Heart Attack - Demi Lovato
Stay - Rihanna
Suit & Tie - Justin Timberlake
Popular Movies
Silver Linings Playbook
Perks of Being A Wallflower
Parental Guidance
Safe Haven
Wreck It Ralph
Hotel Transylvania
House At The End Of The Street
Identity Thief
It is now March 2013, and a lot has happened since I last updated. I finally got my permit on February 28th, after passing my adult permit test (again) haha I missed 4 questions when I was aloud to miss 6, so yay! Today, March 19th, I auditioned for the Senior talent Show, which I was super nervous about, but it ended up being great. Mom & Rachel were there and I was able to perform smiling and confident and I didn't mess up! I am feeling really good about it, and joining the talent show will be my first big step to spreading my music out there and having confidence in myself. The talent show is April 23rd, and I'm super excited for it. I'm becoming a lot more confident in myself and my music, and even made a facebook page for my music, and I want to start doing little shows over summer.
School
I joined journalism this semester with Kirstie and Evan and it has been a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. My first article "Study Buddies" was posted online and it made me happy. I've had to write articles on Scholarships, Bands at Santiago, Taylor Swift's new CD, and Parental Guidance so far and it has been interesting. I'm just happy to be out of calculus. Me, Courtney, Kirstie, Kaytie, and Rachel went prom dress shopping in LA a few weekends ago and it was very fun, I got the cutest dress for $79! Me and Evan are friends again and everything is fine, we even give him rides home now on 1-3-5 days. Our shark tv night last week was on open house night and BovieWares birthday, so we threw this huge celebration, and I brought balloons and cookies and we made posters, then the next day we had the biggest failure ever in Shark TV when the episode was supposed to air at 10:15 and didn't air till 2:15 due to technical problems, it was embarrassing. now we don't really even talk to Jessica anymore, because she spends every minute with Dylan, Chad, and Anthony, and we literally have lost touch completely. It's kind of sad. But we have gotten really close to Kaytie, and Courtney and Dany started dating, and now Kirstie is dating this girl Bri in our journalism class.
Popular Music
Thrift Shop - Mackelmore
Harlem Shake - Bauer
Don't You Worry Child - Swedish House Mafia
Sweet Nothing - Florence And The Machine
I knew You Were Trouble - Taylor Swift
When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars
Heart Attack - Demi Lovato
Stay - Rihanna
Suit & Tie - Justin Timberlake
Popular Movies
Silver Linings Playbook
Perks of Being A Wallflower
Parental Guidance
Safe Haven
Wreck It Ralph
Hotel Transylvania
House At The End Of The Street
Identity Thief
I'm An Adult!
So on January 18th, 2013 I have officially become an adult, as I celebrated my eighteenth birthday. It was very fun, Kirstie and Courtney came to stay the night and I got the best gifts! I got a friendship pillow from Kirstie with our picture on it lmfao, and a basket of candys from Courtney with hilarious puns on them like "you're a hot tamale" and "hope you have a whopper of a time on your birthday" haha it was awesome. We went upstairs and watched Catfish, Bridesmaids, and we played out cup game over and over, singing Taylor swift songs, it was just a great time. Then Evan dropped off a gift on my doorstep, which ended up being the wrong house haha so we went out and grabbed it off of the neighbors doorstep, and it was Almond Joys, with a drawing of a guitar, surrounded by a bunch of papers with the names of my original songs on them! It was so creative and thoughtful, I loved it. Then the next weekend, the family came over to celebrate me and Rachel's birthdays and it was great! Aunt Sammie bought a new car lol, and I made over $160 so I was happy. Uncle Mike got me this pin that says "I'm an adult, SHOW SOME RESPECT" hahaha and it was the best thing ever.
I just had a really great, memorable 18th birthday. :)
I just had a really great, memorable 18th birthday. :)
And I Go Back To December
December 2012 has been amazing.
My family visited New York for the first time from the 12th-18th and it is everything I imagined it would be. The honking taxi's, the crisp feeling in the air, the adorable fashions with peacoats everywhere, and I was shocked at how nice the people were there. Rachel got sick unfortunately so we ended up spending the last few days in the hotel, but Central Park was so breath taking and I could honestly see myself living there. The 9/11 memorial left me feeling so proud to be an American, it was a feeling I couldn't explain. This trip definitely made me feel alive.
Shortly after we got back, Evan started texting me and we were talking for a while. He brought me Almond Joys, my favorite candy, while I was sick, and he was on a jog. I thought it was the sweetest thing and I thought he was adorable. Then on Christmas he sent me the longest text message (6 messages long) saying how beautiful I was, and I was everything he ever wanted, and Nicholas Sparks kind of stuff, and I felt happy, but I felt suffocated, if that makes sense. But I did still find him sweet and adorable, and he finally asked me out on a date. on December 30th, we went out to the movies and saw Parental Guidance, which was great. It was a great, heart warming movie that I absolutely loved, and he was a gentleman, he put his jacket around me, we got Pinkberry, and we sat by the fire and talked for 2 hours. I felt really happy and asked him to come spend New Years Eve at our house, because he'd be spending it alone otherwise. So he came over the next day and met Uncle Mike, Grant, Ava, my Dad, and all those people. We had fun playing Wii and watching White Chicks and Paranormal Witness, but something just felt off. I wasn't feeling the spark I thought I had once felt, and I felt horrible about it. We had pizza and he spent a long time talking to Mom, and then he had to leave early because of the Rose Parade. After he left, I felt really bad because I knew I didn't want a relationship at that point. I texted him the next day telling him I was sorry, and he said it was okay because he was getting "too ahead of himself anyway". I just still feel really bad about the whole situation.
My family visited New York for the first time from the 12th-18th and it is everything I imagined it would be. The honking taxi's, the crisp feeling in the air, the adorable fashions with peacoats everywhere, and I was shocked at how nice the people were there. Rachel got sick unfortunately so we ended up spending the last few days in the hotel, but Central Park was so breath taking and I could honestly see myself living there. The 9/11 memorial left me feeling so proud to be an American, it was a feeling I couldn't explain. This trip definitely made me feel alive.
Shortly after we got back, Evan started texting me and we were talking for a while. He brought me Almond Joys, my favorite candy, while I was sick, and he was on a jog. I thought it was the sweetest thing and I thought he was adorable. Then on Christmas he sent me the longest text message (6 messages long) saying how beautiful I was, and I was everything he ever wanted, and Nicholas Sparks kind of stuff, and I felt happy, but I felt suffocated, if that makes sense. But I did still find him sweet and adorable, and he finally asked me out on a date. on December 30th, we went out to the movies and saw Parental Guidance, which was great. It was a great, heart warming movie that I absolutely loved, and he was a gentleman, he put his jacket around me, we got Pinkberry, and we sat by the fire and talked for 2 hours. I felt really happy and asked him to come spend New Years Eve at our house, because he'd be spending it alone otherwise. So he came over the next day and met Uncle Mike, Grant, Ava, my Dad, and all those people. We had fun playing Wii and watching White Chicks and Paranormal Witness, but something just felt off. I wasn't feeling the spark I thought I had once felt, and I felt horrible about it. We had pizza and he spent a long time talking to Mom, and then he had to leave early because of the Rose Parade. After he left, I felt really bad because I knew I didn't want a relationship at that point. I texted him the next day telling him I was sorry, and he said it was okay because he was getting "too ahead of himself anyway". I just still feel really bad about the whole situation.
Jonas Brothers Concert! {11/28/12}
This concert was on November 28th, 2012 at the Pantages Theater in LA. Me and Rachel had such a great time and cried so many times. Across the street was the W hotel, where Joe lives! We were freaking out and before the show we went to go to the bathroom in the lobby and it was crazy huge, and just amazing. The girl we met in line was kind of a 'know it all' and she met the Jonas Brothers that night at the meet and greet and I was sooo jealous. Then we met this other girl named Lizzy and she was soooo sweet and we talked with her until they let us inside. We bought the cutest shirt, of the three of them in black and white and their yellow logo behind them. Then we went inside and saw that our seats were super close! I almost died of excitement. Right before the show was about to start, Danielle and Papa Jonas come walking down the aisle literally RIGHT next to our row, and we start freaking out, they walk right past us and we lock eyes with Danielle and wave at her then she smiled and waved back! Then me and Rachel broke down crying right there, we were so happy!
The boys opened with Paranoid, and as soon as they were on stage the tears starting up again. They just make me so happy, it's impossible to describe. Throughout the show, I could see Papa Jonas, sitting just a few rows ahead of us, and Kyle was running up and down our aisle taking pictures the whole show, and also the Jonas Brothers grandparents were sitting like 3 rows ahead of us and kept looking back at me and Rachel cause we were the only ones screaming and crying in our section! It was so amazing. The boys did sooo amazing, they even covered Yellow, Locked Out Of Heaven, and Falling Slowly. Nick sang Give Love A Try, and Who I Am, and Joe sang Just In Love. Then they also performed their new song, Let's Go, Wedding Bells, and First Time which were sooo amazing and epic to see live! It was a night I will never forget! Ever. :')
The boys opened with Paranoid, and as soon as they were on stage the tears starting up again. They just make me so happy, it's impossible to describe. Throughout the show, I could see Papa Jonas, sitting just a few rows ahead of us, and Kyle was running up and down our aisle taking pictures the whole show, and also the Jonas Brothers grandparents were sitting like 3 rows ahead of us and kept looking back at me and Rachel cause we were the only ones screaming and crying in our section! It was so amazing. The boys did sooo amazing, they even covered Yellow, Locked Out Of Heaven, and Falling Slowly. Nick sang Give Love A Try, and Who I Am, and Joe sang Just In Love. Then they also performed their new song, Let's Go, Wedding Bells, and First Time which were sooo amazing and epic to see live! It was a night I will never forget! Ever. :')
October Craziness.
So, today is October 12th, 2012. A lot has been going on lately, and senior year has been nothing but stressful so far. College decisions are stressing me out so badly. I got accepted into the Art Institute of California for Video Production which is literally a dream come true but being able to afford it is another topic. I am debating between going to Santiago Canyon for 2 years first, but then what? I have no idea. I'm just taking this one day at a time. High school is going okay. I am sucking badly at calculus, and I hate these dumb bitches in my Government class with a passion, but I really love Shark TV and being a TA. I edited my first video in STV of the pep rally video to Hot Right Now, and everyone loved it. It aired all over the school, and even though I didn't see it because my teacher is stupid, everyone seemed to like it, which made me feel soo great.
There has been a lot of drama among my friends this year, which really sucks. Jessica is just acting different... Over summer, she made a big "mistake" and lost her v-card to a stranger.. and ever since she has grown more and more distance from out group. She ditched us for the Red Ribbon project, and she seems to like hanging out with another group in STV better. Now she is nominated for Homecoming princess, along with Ty, and all these other girls I dislike. It's so annoying.
Last night was probably the best night of the whole year. I will never forget October 11th, 2012.
The Jonas Brothers performed 3 new songs, for the first time since June 2009, and played their first concert all together at Radio City. We got to watch it online, and I couldn't even believe it, I was sooo happy. For one moment I got to forget about all of my stress and just everything that was on my mind and sing along to old songs with my favorite boys in the world. The new songs sound so amazing, and different, but it's really good. Like an indie/folk/pop sound to them.
And in 10 days, Taylor Swift's new album, Red comes out! Which I've loved every single off the album, especially Red it's just perfect. And tonight, we are supposed to be getting iPhones 4S's! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY. Goodbye stupid Android. <3
I'm so excited. I would say this month has been pretty good so far. :)
There has been a lot of drama among my friends this year, which really sucks. Jessica is just acting different... Over summer, she made a big "mistake" and lost her v-card to a stranger.. and ever since she has grown more and more distance from out group. She ditched us for the Red Ribbon project, and she seems to like hanging out with another group in STV better. Now she is nominated for Homecoming princess, along with Ty, and all these other girls I dislike. It's so annoying.
Last night was probably the best night of the whole year. I will never forget October 11th, 2012.
The Jonas Brothers performed 3 new songs, for the first time since June 2009, and played their first concert all together at Radio City. We got to watch it online, and I couldn't even believe it, I was sooo happy. For one moment I got to forget about all of my stress and just everything that was on my mind and sing along to old songs with my favorite boys in the world. The new songs sound so amazing, and different, but it's really good. Like an indie/folk/pop sound to them.
And in 10 days, Taylor Swift's new album, Red comes out! Which I've loved every single off the album, especially Red it's just perfect. And tonight, we are supposed to be getting iPhones 4S's! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINALLY. Goodbye stupid Android. <3
I'm so excited. I would say this month has been pretty good so far. :)
Starting Senior Year.
Today is August 19th, 2012. We started school on the 8th, yes Dad's birthday.
The first day was a rough start because my first period class was Contemporary Media, which is the same class I took last year. So I had to go up to the counselors office and missed 1st and 2nd period waiting. It was just so ridiculous. Basically my schedule is this:
1. Contemporary Media TA - Bware
2. Language Arts (ERWC) - Kliss
3. Shark TV - Bware
4. Government - Jessup
5. Calculus - Gonzalez
6. Early Dismissal
Overall, I am really happy with my schedule. I know that Calculus is going to be the hardest class for me, but I'm prepared to be challenged. I love being a TA for Bware, and the fact that I'm in Shark TV this year is so surreal. I've been dreaming of being in Shark TV since I was a freshmen, and now that I am, with my 3 best friends, Courtney Jess and Kirstie, is just so much fun. I'm even making good friends with more people in there. We've spent a lot of time writing songs, and getting more people to help us. We even did a cover of Taylor Swift's new single during lunch! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a--2Pf3lwVo&feature=youtu.be
It's been extremely fun in that class. I really like my government teacher, although I hate the kids in that class. Then Calculus is just ehhh. But my Language Arts teacher, Kliss is so crazy. He's probably the most enthusiastic, outgoing teacher I've ever had to say the least. On the first day he dropped the "f bomb" about 50 times and left me with a bad impression but after a couple class periods I realized he's not so bad, and his class is pretty easy so that's fine by me haha.
I just can't believe senior year is actually here. Like, this is it. My last year at Santiago. It's going by so fast that I feel like one day it's all gonna catch up to me and I'm going to get scared. I'm so terrified of growing up.. and just the fact that I turn 18 in 4 months scares the sh*t out of me. The adult world is full of responsibility and I'm not ready. I'm only good at being young.
The first day was a rough start because my first period class was Contemporary Media, which is the same class I took last year. So I had to go up to the counselors office and missed 1st and 2nd period waiting. It was just so ridiculous. Basically my schedule is this:
1. Contemporary Media TA - Bware
2. Language Arts (ERWC) - Kliss
3. Shark TV - Bware
4. Government - Jessup
5. Calculus - Gonzalez
6. Early Dismissal
Overall, I am really happy with my schedule. I know that Calculus is going to be the hardest class for me, but I'm prepared to be challenged. I love being a TA for Bware, and the fact that I'm in Shark TV this year is so surreal. I've been dreaming of being in Shark TV since I was a freshmen, and now that I am, with my 3 best friends, Courtney Jess and Kirstie, is just so much fun. I'm even making good friends with more people in there. We've spent a lot of time writing songs, and getting more people to help us. We even did a cover of Taylor Swift's new single during lunch! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a--2Pf3lwVo&feature=youtu.be
It's been extremely fun in that class. I really like my government teacher, although I hate the kids in that class. Then Calculus is just ehhh. But my Language Arts teacher, Kliss is so crazy. He's probably the most enthusiastic, outgoing teacher I've ever had to say the least. On the first day he dropped the "f bomb" about 50 times and left me with a bad impression but after a couple class periods I realized he's not so bad, and his class is pretty easy so that's fine by me haha.
I just can't believe senior year is actually here. Like, this is it. My last year at Santiago. It's going by so fast that I feel like one day it's all gonna catch up to me and I'm going to get scared. I'm so terrified of growing up.. and just the fact that I turn 18 in 4 months scares the sh*t out of me. The adult world is full of responsibility and I'm not ready. I'm only good at being young.
Summer 2012.
This has been such a great summer.
It doesn't top 2011, but it is totally the 2nd best summer ever. We went down to Santa Monica beach 3 times, the first time staying at a hotel, then once with all my friends. We went bike riding on the beach and it was just amazing. We even went down to Malibu with my friends, blasting summer music, especially Lou Bega in the car as we went. It was so surreal.
We got to take a tour at Dodgers stadium, going inside the dugout and all around the stadium! It was so incredible! I couldn't even describe how much fun it was! Then, we got surprised and got to go to the game that night against the Angels! We came back in the bottom of the 8th and the crowd was insane. It was such a great game. We also went to Las Vegas and then Laughlin which was such a great trip! We spent 2 days in Vegas where me and Rachel had our own hotel room for the first time! In Vegas we ate at Gallagers for Mom and Dad's 26th anniversary! We also got to go into Hard Rock cafe and see all these legendary guitars and outfits. I also got the cutest sweats. And we got picked up, literally by Spiderman! hahaha. In Laughlin, we got our jetskiis and it was a great day but Rachel got stung on the neck and it was swollen the rest of the trip. We went to our first midnight premiere on July 2nd to go see Spiderman and it was amazing. Our new favorite movie for sure! Andrew Garfield is so freaking adorable! And the theater was so alive and crazy at 12am. It was also exhausting and tiring haha. But it was a great time! We spent 4th of July down in Torrance and lit fireworks off the floor in the backyard. It was so much fun and so insane. Then, we also went down to San Diego, where we went down to Seaport Village and got to go on the USS Midway ship which was incredible! It was huge and Dad really loved it. It was so hot inside the tiny narrow hallways and we felt like we were on the Great Escape haha. Then we went to a Padres game that night against the Rockies at Petco Park and that stadium is amazing! It's in the middle of downtown city San Diego, and it's surrounded by buildings! So cool. :) Then the next day we went to Sea World and it was so fun. We went on Manta, Journey To Atlantis, saw the dolphins and Shamoo show and even pet sting rays. They felt soo cool. We went to Disneyland in the beginning of summer in June, and went to Six Flags sometime in July. It was so much fun going on X2 again. I forgot how much whiplash you get on that haha. I took my senior pictures after I got my haircut in late July. I can't believe I'm actually starting senior year. It felt soo crazy to wear the cap and gown. Me and Mom went dress shopping the night before to find this beautiful, teal and black dress, Perfect cause it's school colors.
Then at the end of summer, we went to Newport beach with Grant and Ava and they stayed the night. It was really fun and we met the cutest kids on the beach!
Overall, it was a really really great summer. And it went by so freaking fast.
It doesn't top 2011, but it is totally the 2nd best summer ever. We went down to Santa Monica beach 3 times, the first time staying at a hotel, then once with all my friends. We went bike riding on the beach and it was just amazing. We even went down to Malibu with my friends, blasting summer music, especially Lou Bega in the car as we went. It was so surreal.
We got to take a tour at Dodgers stadium, going inside the dugout and all around the stadium! It was so incredible! I couldn't even describe how much fun it was! Then, we got surprised and got to go to the game that night against the Angels! We came back in the bottom of the 8th and the crowd was insane. It was such a great game. We also went to Las Vegas and then Laughlin which was such a great trip! We spent 2 days in Vegas where me and Rachel had our own hotel room for the first time! In Vegas we ate at Gallagers for Mom and Dad's 26th anniversary! We also got to go into Hard Rock cafe and see all these legendary guitars and outfits. I also got the cutest sweats. And we got picked up, literally by Spiderman! hahaha. In Laughlin, we got our jetskiis and it was a great day but Rachel got stung on the neck and it was swollen the rest of the trip. We went to our first midnight premiere on July 2nd to go see Spiderman and it was amazing. Our new favorite movie for sure! Andrew Garfield is so freaking adorable! And the theater was so alive and crazy at 12am. It was also exhausting and tiring haha. But it was a great time! We spent 4th of July down in Torrance and lit fireworks off the floor in the backyard. It was so much fun and so insane. Then, we also went down to San Diego, where we went down to Seaport Village and got to go on the USS Midway ship which was incredible! It was huge and Dad really loved it. It was so hot inside the tiny narrow hallways and we felt like we were on the Great Escape haha. Then we went to a Padres game that night against the Rockies at Petco Park and that stadium is amazing! It's in the middle of downtown city San Diego, and it's surrounded by buildings! So cool. :) Then the next day we went to Sea World and it was so fun. We went on Manta, Journey To Atlantis, saw the dolphins and Shamoo show and even pet sting rays. They felt soo cool. We went to Disneyland in the beginning of summer in June, and went to Six Flags sometime in July. It was so much fun going on X2 again. I forgot how much whiplash you get on that haha. I took my senior pictures after I got my haircut in late July. I can't believe I'm actually starting senior year. It felt soo crazy to wear the cap and gown. Me and Mom went dress shopping the night before to find this beautiful, teal and black dress, Perfect cause it's school colors.
Then at the end of summer, we went to Newport beach with Grant and Ava and they stayed the night. It was really fun and we met the cutest kids on the beach!
Overall, it was a really really great summer. And it went by so freaking fast.
Songs Of Summer '12.
Good Time - Owl City
Let's Go - NeYo
Bangarang - Skrillex
Want U Back - Cher Lloyd / With Your Love - Cher Lloyd
Freak My Shit - New Boyz
Bassline - Chris Brown / Sweet love - Chris Brown
All Around The World / Out Of Town Girl - Justin Bieber
One More Night - Maroon 5
Troublemaker - Taio Cruz
Bloom - The Paper Kites
Beers Ago - Toby Keith
Drunk On You - Luke Bryan
Morning Sun - Miley Cyrus
Now Or Never - Outasight
Ready to Go - Panic At The Disco
Lucky Strike / Love Somebody / Wasted Years - Maroon 5
Let's Go - NeYo
Bangarang - Skrillex
Want U Back - Cher Lloyd / With Your Love - Cher Lloyd
Freak My Shit - New Boyz
Bassline - Chris Brown / Sweet love - Chris Brown
All Around The World / Out Of Town Girl - Justin Bieber
One More Night - Maroon 5
Troublemaker - Taio Cruz
Bloom - The Paper Kites
Beers Ago - Toby Keith
Drunk On You - Luke Bryan
Morning Sun - Miley Cyrus
Now Or Never - Outasight
Ready to Go - Panic At The Disco
Lucky Strike / Love Somebody / Wasted Years - Maroon 5
SUMMER 2012. (pictures)
I hate that I care so much.
Today is May 23rd, 2012. There is about 1 week left of junior year. This morning, I started that time of the month, and it hurt so freaking bad as usual, I felt like I couldn't even walk. Then I asked Mom if she could sign me out after 2nd period, because I needed to take my Spanish final and I would re-schedule my History final for later. She said okay, but then as she was dropping me off at school she said she wouldn't, and then just left. I was so pissed. I felt like crying, and my eyes swelled up with tears. I couldn't even focus on my Spanish final because I was so pissed and my cramps were killing me. Then I was able to take my history final during 4th period, so I could leave school at 11:50 since I had no 6th period. But then at lunch, Rachel was gonna have to sit by herself because my friends were still busy in class, and her one other friend was absent today. I felt bad but I had to leave cause Mom was there, and she got so mad. I texted her saying i'm sorry and she texted me back "just shut up." She makes me feel like I did something wrong, but its not my fault that I don't feel good and that none of them are able to have lunch with her... Besides, I've sacrificed so much time for her, staying with her at school lunches when she doesn't have anyone to sit with, and she doesn't even appreciate that. I could leave everyday but I don't. I just hate feeling like everyone hates me just because I don't feel good, or because one time I screw up. I started crying as soon as I got home because I'm overwhelmed with all these emotions. Can't Rachel stop being so selfish for 2 seconds and see that i'm not leaving her because I want her to sit alone, its because I don't feel good. If the tables were turned, I would never treat her the way she treats me when she doesn't feel well. It's just complete bull shit. It's not fair. And I hate that I let myself believe that i'm a bad person for things like this when i'm not. I didn't do anything wrong, but yet I feel so bad, and put that on myself, to the point where I just cry. It just doesn't seem like she cares about me the way I care about her...
Anyway, last weekend, we went down to Newport beach for the first time since 2010. It was such a great day, and I had such a great time, but after I got home, I realized I was soooo sunburned. Everywhere. It was so bad; my legs (mostly) I couldn't sleep with them that night because they were burning and tingling all night, then it was all over my face, shoulders, chest, everywhere. And it was in patches, really weird. Then, the next day, my ankles got swollen, to almost twice their size. And I freaked out. They hurt so bad. It took them about 5 days for the swelling to go down, and I missed school one of the days because they hurt to walk on. Not to mention through this week, Mom got some kind of flu and was sick in bed every morning, on antibiotics. It just made everything so difficult. Even now they kind of still hurt, a week and a half later. But on the bright side, my throat thing is pretty much gone. I've been off the medicine for a while now. I still have G.E.R.D. I suppose, cause its chronic, but for now it's all good. :) This Sunday, I will start birth control for my killer cramps. Rachel started hers last Sunday. I pray to God that these will work and the cramps won't be so bad anymore. If this doesn't work, I don't know what I will do. I hate it so bad. My period is the worst pain i've ever felt in my life, and I dread it monthly. It's exhausting. And with the way time is flying, months go by so fast. So its just one after the other, and so on...
As for Nick Jonas, he finished How To Succeed early because those bitches said he wasn't bringing in "enough ticket sales" and ending the show nearly 2 months early. It sucks. But Nick got a buzz cut! At first I didn't know if I liked it or not, but it is actually really sexy. I am just surprised he did it, it was so random and I never thought he'd shave off the curls. I do miss his curls dearly though and hope it grows back quickly. But none the less, it is still insanely sexy. Everything about him is. (:
Anyway, last weekend, we went down to Newport beach for the first time since 2010. It was such a great day, and I had such a great time, but after I got home, I realized I was soooo sunburned. Everywhere. It was so bad; my legs (mostly) I couldn't sleep with them that night because they were burning and tingling all night, then it was all over my face, shoulders, chest, everywhere. And it was in patches, really weird. Then, the next day, my ankles got swollen, to almost twice their size. And I freaked out. They hurt so bad. It took them about 5 days for the swelling to go down, and I missed school one of the days because they hurt to walk on. Not to mention through this week, Mom got some kind of flu and was sick in bed every morning, on antibiotics. It just made everything so difficult. Even now they kind of still hurt, a week and a half later. But on the bright side, my throat thing is pretty much gone. I've been off the medicine for a while now. I still have G.E.R.D. I suppose, cause its chronic, but for now it's all good. :) This Sunday, I will start birth control for my killer cramps. Rachel started hers last Sunday. I pray to God that these will work and the cramps won't be so bad anymore. If this doesn't work, I don't know what I will do. I hate it so bad. My period is the worst pain i've ever felt in my life, and I dread it monthly. It's exhausting. And with the way time is flying, months go by so fast. So its just one after the other, and so on...
As for Nick Jonas, he finished How To Succeed early because those bitches said he wasn't bringing in "enough ticket sales" and ending the show nearly 2 months early. It sucks. But Nick got a buzz cut! At first I didn't know if I liked it or not, but it is actually really sexy. I am just surprised he did it, it was so random and I never thought he'd shave off the curls. I do miss his curls dearly though and hope it grows back quickly. But none the less, it is still insanely sexy. Everything about him is. (:
1 month left of Junior year.
Today is April 27th, 2012. Weird that I updated last time exactly a month ago haha. Anyway, not too much has changed since last time, except for the fact that we have one month left of the school year.. Which means 1 month left of my junior year.. ): But I don't want to think about that haha. We just finished STAR testing and I am finished with state testing for the rest of my life and it feels great. I am happy junior year is the last year you have to do that crap. As for my throat; it is doing soooo much better now. The acid reflex medicine has been working great ad the specialist confirmed that I have G.E.R.D., which is a fancy term for an acidic reflex disease. The doctors appointments have been spacing further apart and everything seems to be going back to normal. Thank God.
We had to take a physical at the doctors this week though, for the "female shots" we have to get this summer. /: I am nervous about getting them because everyone says they hurt like hell. My cramps haven't been getting better either when i'm on that time of the month, so Dr. Harasti and Mom decided to put me on birth control.. I start taking them next month. I am nervous but excited to take them because everyone says they help cramps soo much and I need that more than anything. It's becoming ridiculous, and I can't handle it anymore. The older I get, the worse it gets.
Tonight, my friends Courtney and Kirstie are coming over and spending the night. We are gonna have a "cheesy sleepover" with karaoke, avocado masks, and girl movies! haha. It'll be fun. And I haven't had a sleepover since probably 2010, so it's going to be awesome! I really just love my friends. I eat lunch with them and Rachel in Mrs. Brasington's classroom every Tuesday & Thursday and its just so much fun. We all make each other laugh and are like the same humans in separate bodies. They completely get me, ad I do them, and there is no drama anymore, which I love.
As for the media world, Nick is still on Broadway doing How To Succeed. I entered a contest on cambio to see if I can win a trip but I have like no chance at winning haha. Nick is playing on the Wicket softball team, and the Jonas Brothers are writing music again, which makes me happy beyond belief. It's been (by this June) nearly 3 years since their last album as a band. 3 freaking years. And as a die-hard everyday type of fan, its hard to wait that long. But they are worth it, of course.
We had to take a physical at the doctors this week though, for the "female shots" we have to get this summer. /: I am nervous about getting them because everyone says they hurt like hell. My cramps haven't been getting better either when i'm on that time of the month, so Dr. Harasti and Mom decided to put me on birth control.. I start taking them next month. I am nervous but excited to take them because everyone says they help cramps soo much and I need that more than anything. It's becoming ridiculous, and I can't handle it anymore. The older I get, the worse it gets.
Tonight, my friends Courtney and Kirstie are coming over and spending the night. We are gonna have a "cheesy sleepover" with karaoke, avocado masks, and girl movies! haha. It'll be fun. And I haven't had a sleepover since probably 2010, so it's going to be awesome! I really just love my friends. I eat lunch with them and Rachel in Mrs. Brasington's classroom every Tuesday & Thursday and its just so much fun. We all make each other laugh and are like the same humans in separate bodies. They completely get me, ad I do them, and there is no drama anymore, which I love.
As for the media world, Nick is still on Broadway doing How To Succeed. I entered a contest on cambio to see if I can win a trip but I have like no chance at winning haha. Nick is playing on the Wicket softball team, and the Jonas Brothers are writing music again, which makes me happy beyond belief. It's been (by this June) nearly 3 years since their last album as a band. 3 freaking years. And as a die-hard everyday type of fan, its hard to wait that long. But they are worth it, of course.
Song Obsessions!
(Spring 2012)
These are songs I am ADDICTED to right now.
Baby's Arms - Kurt Vile
Comeback Kid - Brett Denen
Specks - Matt Pond
Desperate Measures - Marianas Trench
For You - Keith Urban
Glad You Came - The Wanted
Alone With you - Jake Owen
Yellow Shirt - The Icarus Account
Music Sounds Better With You - Big Time Rush
Sitting On Top Of The World - Delta Goodrem
A Thousand years - Christina Perri
These are songs I am ADDICTED to right now.
Baby's Arms - Kurt Vile
Comeback Kid - Brett Denen
Specks - Matt Pond
Desperate Measures - Marianas Trench
For You - Keith Urban
Glad You Came - The Wanted
Alone With you - Jake Owen
Yellow Shirt - The Icarus Account
Music Sounds Better With You - Big Time Rush
Sitting On Top Of The World - Delta Goodrem
A Thousand years - Christina Perri
March Madness.
Today is March 27th, 2012 and so much has happened this month.
First off, my health. I came to find out that my throat pain has nothing to do with my thyroid which was such a relief. The doctor said he thought it might be acid reflex on top of anxiety and stress, which knowing myself is a big possibility. He put me on this medication where I take one pill each day for 2 weeks. Then I had to take an MRI, and allergy test. First, the MRI test was on my brain looking for any 'tumors' or eliminating the possibility of MS. I started crying when I found out I had to take one cause I was scared.. I finally took it about a week later. This lady in the waiting room was freaking out because they pushed back her appointment like 1 hour, and she started "having an anxiety attack" and yelling at the doctors. I've never seen someone be so rude and disrespectful in a public doctors office. But anyway, I finally got in, Mom came in the room with me and it was sooo loud, the mat I was laying on was vibrating so I almost fell asleep. They give you ear plugs and positioned your head so it wouldn't move, and it lasted for 30 minutes straight. It was pretty intense, but kind of cool. The results came back fine! :) THANK GOD. Other than some sinus problems, there is nothing wrong with my brain haha. Next thing was the allergy test. It was an early appointment and the doctor first did an evaluation, asking me questions about everything that's happened the past 3 months and what not. Ten we decided to take the skin test that day and get it over with. They wrote numbers on my back 1-76 in black sharpie marker, and each one was a different allergic reaction. Then they took these little liquid things with needles attached and starting poking them into my back. The one's that would flare up and turn red are the one's that I was allergic too. After they poked me 76 times, they waited 10 minutes for the and it was sooooo itchy! Mom was blowing air onto my back cause that's all she could do. Then it turns out I am severely allergic to cats, grass, pollen, weeds, certain trees, certain molds, and dust. I think the only solution is moving out of California haha, but he said I'm probably allergic to the carpet and just the air out here, and he also said its surprising I don't have asthma. So now they are sure its acidic reflex and bad allergies.
Second, my life. I had a chance to go to New York with Courtney an her family over Spring Break. Her brother was going to have to be at school and they had an extra ticket, and I was gonna get to see How To Succeed, see Nick again up close, and stay at the Double Tree hotel in Times Square! But its sucks cause it didn't end up working out /: Also, last night we had our new neighbors over for dinner and drinks, and the Dad got soooo drunk it was hilarious. He even went into our fridge and was taking food, and he told his wife he wanted to f*** her in front of us and his child! crazy..
But, everything is going good. Tomorrow, we take off for Arizona! Magic Johnson just bought the Dodgers so it should be interesting! Now that I'm on spring break I'm relaxing a bit more, and we are planning on going to Disneyland and Six Flags before we go back to school. (: It just really sucks because one of my good friends on twitter, ldnfoolishly is dying because her organs are failing and she has an incurable disease. It's really hard to believe that she is gonna die this week and it makes me so sad and angry. She's only 19 and we have been friends on twitter for over a year... And on the down side it turns out my drivers permit expired and in order to get my license I have to start all over again. Isn't that just lovely? /: Just a lot of mixed feelings lately..
First off, my health. I came to find out that my throat pain has nothing to do with my thyroid which was such a relief. The doctor said he thought it might be acid reflex on top of anxiety and stress, which knowing myself is a big possibility. He put me on this medication where I take one pill each day for 2 weeks. Then I had to take an MRI, and allergy test. First, the MRI test was on my brain looking for any 'tumors' or eliminating the possibility of MS. I started crying when I found out I had to take one cause I was scared.. I finally took it about a week later. This lady in the waiting room was freaking out because they pushed back her appointment like 1 hour, and she started "having an anxiety attack" and yelling at the doctors. I've never seen someone be so rude and disrespectful in a public doctors office. But anyway, I finally got in, Mom came in the room with me and it was sooo loud, the mat I was laying on was vibrating so I almost fell asleep. They give you ear plugs and positioned your head so it wouldn't move, and it lasted for 30 minutes straight. It was pretty intense, but kind of cool. The results came back fine! :) THANK GOD. Other than some sinus problems, there is nothing wrong with my brain haha. Next thing was the allergy test. It was an early appointment and the doctor first did an evaluation, asking me questions about everything that's happened the past 3 months and what not. Ten we decided to take the skin test that day and get it over with. They wrote numbers on my back 1-76 in black sharpie marker, and each one was a different allergic reaction. Then they took these little liquid things with needles attached and starting poking them into my back. The one's that would flare up and turn red are the one's that I was allergic too. After they poked me 76 times, they waited 10 minutes for the and it was sooooo itchy! Mom was blowing air onto my back cause that's all she could do. Then it turns out I am severely allergic to cats, grass, pollen, weeds, certain trees, certain molds, and dust. I think the only solution is moving out of California haha, but he said I'm probably allergic to the carpet and just the air out here, and he also said its surprising I don't have asthma. So now they are sure its acidic reflex and bad allergies.
Second, my life. I had a chance to go to New York with Courtney an her family over Spring Break. Her brother was going to have to be at school and they had an extra ticket, and I was gonna get to see How To Succeed, see Nick again up close, and stay at the Double Tree hotel in Times Square! But its sucks cause it didn't end up working out /: Also, last night we had our new neighbors over for dinner and drinks, and the Dad got soooo drunk it was hilarious. He even went into our fridge and was taking food, and he told his wife he wanted to f*** her in front of us and his child! crazy..
But, everything is going good. Tomorrow, we take off for Arizona! Magic Johnson just bought the Dodgers so it should be interesting! Now that I'm on spring break I'm relaxing a bit more, and we are planning on going to Disneyland and Six Flags before we go back to school. (: It just really sucks because one of my good friends on twitter, ldnfoolishly is dying because her organs are failing and she has an incurable disease. It's really hard to believe that she is gonna die this week and it makes me so sad and angry. She's only 19 and we have been friends on twitter for over a year... And on the down side it turns out my drivers permit expired and in order to get my license I have to start all over again. Isn't that just lovely? /: Just a lot of mixed feelings lately..
A Little Bit Longer, and I'll Be Fine.
2/16/12
So, I got a sore throat on December 18th, and it has been one hell of a ride since then. One Christmas night, I went to bed at 10pm and was considering going to the emergency room because I was in so much pain. My Mom got me in to see Dr. Harasti on the 26th. As soon as I went in at 9am she just gave me antibiotics. I was to take them 3 times a day for the next 10 days. They worked great at first. Grant & Ava stayed for like 3 days through New year and it was great having them here cause it kept my mind off of the pain for a while. Then it still wasn't getting better so on January 5th, we went to Urgent Care, and the doctor said he believed it was ETD (Estacian Tube Dysfunction) and it was an allergy of some sort. So he gave me Claritin D and Ibuprofin to take for pain. I waited a week, and it still wasn't getting better. I wet back to Urgent Care a week later, right after I got out early on Friday, and the guy said he too, believed it was ETD. So he gave me a steroid nasal thing that I was to do twice a day for the first weekend, then once a day until I was better. He also did a strep test and it came back negative. We went to Disneyland on the 14th, and it was great. I had so much fun and the steroid thing worked great. Then after some time, the symptoms just weren't going away. At this point I was so freaking sick of this. So, then on January 30th, I got in to see Dr. Harasti again, and she said she thought it might be mono. So she had me go take a blood test, which I hated because needles make me feel sick. Then, a week later the results came back negative again. So we didn't know where it was gonna go from there. It was like back to the beginning all over again. I was still in pain. We called our doctor was she gave us a number to go see a throat specialist out in Riverside. She told me for now take this heartburn pill because she thought it might be acidic reflux. When Mom called the number they said they were booked until the end of February. We could call every day to see if someone cancelled though. Then on Feb. 10th Mom was somehow able to get me in to see the specialist. They got all the blood work transferred over there and as soon as I got out of school early on Friday, we went. The specialist said he believes its thyroiditis, which is a disease.. He hasn't confirmed it yet but he had me go take a blood test, and the results will come in 2 weeks.
Then he sent mt to take another throat x-ray test on Monday, February 20th?, and it was at 8am. I wasn't aloud to eat 12 hours before, and me and Mom went down to Riverside at 7:15 ish. This was one of the worst experiences of my life, and I seriously hope I never have to do it again. After I finally got it, close to 9am, they had me change into a hospital robe, which went to my knees haha and they put a wrist band on my hand, so it felt like I was in a hospital. Then they filled up a full large cup of this white nasssty liquid, and I was supposed to drink it every time they told me to. So I stood in front of this huge, body sized x-ray machine, and the doctor would tell me "take a small sip, hold it in your mouth, swallow." and it tasted so bad. The only way I could describe it would be like sour milk, combined with cement and chalk and raw eggs. It was freaking disgusting. It started hardening around your lips as you drank it. Then he let me see the machine which was actually pretty cool. I saw how the liquid traveled down my throat and if it was getting caught somewhere. It was really interesting because the liquid was black and my bones were white, so it was trippy. Then, he said he wasn't getting the right results from the liquid, so he wanted me to take these acid crystal ball things. The nurse put them in a small container and they immediately started foaming, and she told me to drink it fast. I did, and she said it was gonna make me wanna throw up so I had to drink the white liquid along with it to hold it down. I literally gagged twice and I could feel my stomach rejecting it. They were telling me not to burp, because they don't want it coming back up, but it was really hard not to. Then they finally turned the table over, so I was laying flat on my stomach instead of standing up, and they had me turn my head to the side and drink while i was laying down, which is way harder to do than it sounds. Then they took 2 final x-rays where they had to leave the room and I was required to continuously drink the white liquid non-stop until they came back. But then it was all over. Worst experience EVER. I seriously have never tasted anything that bad. But if this leads me to results, it'll be worth it. My next appointment in March 14th.. so I will wait til then. /:
So, I got a sore throat on December 18th, and it has been one hell of a ride since then. One Christmas night, I went to bed at 10pm and was considering going to the emergency room because I was in so much pain. My Mom got me in to see Dr. Harasti on the 26th. As soon as I went in at 9am she just gave me antibiotics. I was to take them 3 times a day for the next 10 days. They worked great at first. Grant & Ava stayed for like 3 days through New year and it was great having them here cause it kept my mind off of the pain for a while. Then it still wasn't getting better so on January 5th, we went to Urgent Care, and the doctor said he believed it was ETD (Estacian Tube Dysfunction) and it was an allergy of some sort. So he gave me Claritin D and Ibuprofin to take for pain. I waited a week, and it still wasn't getting better. I wet back to Urgent Care a week later, right after I got out early on Friday, and the guy said he too, believed it was ETD. So he gave me a steroid nasal thing that I was to do twice a day for the first weekend, then once a day until I was better. He also did a strep test and it came back negative. We went to Disneyland on the 14th, and it was great. I had so much fun and the steroid thing worked great. Then after some time, the symptoms just weren't going away. At this point I was so freaking sick of this. So, then on January 30th, I got in to see Dr. Harasti again, and she said she thought it might be mono. So she had me go take a blood test, which I hated because needles make me feel sick. Then, a week later the results came back negative again. So we didn't know where it was gonna go from there. It was like back to the beginning all over again. I was still in pain. We called our doctor was she gave us a number to go see a throat specialist out in Riverside. She told me for now take this heartburn pill because she thought it might be acidic reflux. When Mom called the number they said they were booked until the end of February. We could call every day to see if someone cancelled though. Then on Feb. 10th Mom was somehow able to get me in to see the specialist. They got all the blood work transferred over there and as soon as I got out of school early on Friday, we went. The specialist said he believes its thyroiditis, which is a disease.. He hasn't confirmed it yet but he had me go take a blood test, and the results will come in 2 weeks.
Then he sent mt to take another throat x-ray test on Monday, February 20th?, and it was at 8am. I wasn't aloud to eat 12 hours before, and me and Mom went down to Riverside at 7:15 ish. This was one of the worst experiences of my life, and I seriously hope I never have to do it again. After I finally got it, close to 9am, they had me change into a hospital robe, which went to my knees haha and they put a wrist band on my hand, so it felt like I was in a hospital. Then they filled up a full large cup of this white nasssty liquid, and I was supposed to drink it every time they told me to. So I stood in front of this huge, body sized x-ray machine, and the doctor would tell me "take a small sip, hold it in your mouth, swallow." and it tasted so bad. The only way I could describe it would be like sour milk, combined with cement and chalk and raw eggs. It was freaking disgusting. It started hardening around your lips as you drank it. Then he let me see the machine which was actually pretty cool. I saw how the liquid traveled down my throat and if it was getting caught somewhere. It was really interesting because the liquid was black and my bones were white, so it was trippy. Then, he said he wasn't getting the right results from the liquid, so he wanted me to take these acid crystal ball things. The nurse put them in a small container and they immediately started foaming, and she told me to drink it fast. I did, and she said it was gonna make me wanna throw up so I had to drink the white liquid along with it to hold it down. I literally gagged twice and I could feel my stomach rejecting it. They were telling me not to burp, because they don't want it coming back up, but it was really hard not to. Then they finally turned the table over, so I was laying flat on my stomach instead of standing up, and they had me turn my head to the side and drink while i was laying down, which is way harder to do than it sounds. Then they took 2 final x-rays where they had to leave the room and I was required to continuously drink the white liquid non-stop until they came back. But then it was all over. Worst experience EVER. I seriously have never tasted anything that bad. But if this leads me to results, it'll be worth it. My next appointment in March 14th.. so I will wait til then. /:
WELCOME 2012!
I really hope this year is good to me. ♥
2011, was one of the best years of my life:
-I met Nick Jonas
-It was the year of my sweet 16
-Concert For Hope, Nick at the Grove, Hairspray, & Joe Jonas Fast Life Tour
-Had one of the best summers of my life
and it was way better than 2010, that's for sure.
2011, was one of the best years of my life:
-I met Nick Jonas
-It was the year of my sweet 16
-Concert For Hope, Nick at the Grove, Hairspray, & Joe Jonas Fast Life Tour
-Had one of the best summers of my life
and it was way better than 2010, that's for sure.
It's Always One Thing Or Another.
12/21/11
I have been in a lot of pain lately.
First, it was a ligament I tore in my left shoulder. I ended up going back to Urgent Care the following Thursday thinking I was gonna die because it hurt so bad, and it turns out, I wasn't supposed to wear the sling and I had to stretch it out. I took medicine for the next five days and it has gotten much better. It still will randomly flare up now & then but it healed quickly.
Then, its my damn period. Those cramps hurt like hell and its something I could never explain through words. You just feel like you would rather get shot in the face then deal with cramps. It's not just in your back, its in your stomach, so badly you don't wanna eat because you're afraid you will throw up, its in your thighs, in your crotch, and you can't sleep at night because the heating pad keeps shutting off and you have to manually turn it back on. It's just basically 4 days of hell.
About a week ago, I got a really bad headache that lasted for the whole day and the pain was even in my left upper cheek, by my jaw. It was so weird and painful.
Now, its a 'flu' of some sort. I got a really bad sore throat, and it felt so swollen like I couldn't breathe, and then the next morning I woke up feeling sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up. It sucks more because today we were supposed to go to San Diego to see a football game and stay out there but since i'm sick, I can't. I'm just sooooo sick of feeling down.
As far as life goes, I'm on winter break so i'm happy.
School is so hard this year, and I am terrified to find the results to my Spanish 3 grade and my AP Language Arts grade.. I still have to finish stupid online history because I waited, as usual.
With friends, things couldn't be better. Me & Courtney have gotten so close, and we are like the same person with just slightly different likes. We all went to record our commercial to Super Bass for our media class the other night, and we had so much fun. Haven't had that much fun in a while.
Everything just gets so serious now-a-days.
I still haven't called the DMV to get my license because i'm lazy. But i'm in no rush because I don't wanna grow up too fast. I can hardly believe my 17th birthday is less than a month away.. It scares me how fast time is flying. It really does.
I have been in a lot of pain lately.
First, it was a ligament I tore in my left shoulder. I ended up going back to Urgent Care the following Thursday thinking I was gonna die because it hurt so bad, and it turns out, I wasn't supposed to wear the sling and I had to stretch it out. I took medicine for the next five days and it has gotten much better. It still will randomly flare up now & then but it healed quickly.
Then, its my damn period. Those cramps hurt like hell and its something I could never explain through words. You just feel like you would rather get shot in the face then deal with cramps. It's not just in your back, its in your stomach, so badly you don't wanna eat because you're afraid you will throw up, its in your thighs, in your crotch, and you can't sleep at night because the heating pad keeps shutting off and you have to manually turn it back on. It's just basically 4 days of hell.
About a week ago, I got a really bad headache that lasted for the whole day and the pain was even in my left upper cheek, by my jaw. It was so weird and painful.
Now, its a 'flu' of some sort. I got a really bad sore throat, and it felt so swollen like I couldn't breathe, and then the next morning I woke up feeling sick to my stomach and wanted to throw up. It sucks more because today we were supposed to go to San Diego to see a football game and stay out there but since i'm sick, I can't. I'm just sooooo sick of feeling down.
As far as life goes, I'm on winter break so i'm happy.
School is so hard this year, and I am terrified to find the results to my Spanish 3 grade and my AP Language Arts grade.. I still have to finish stupid online history because I waited, as usual.
With friends, things couldn't be better. Me & Courtney have gotten so close, and we are like the same person with just slightly different likes. We all went to record our commercial to Super Bass for our media class the other night, and we had so much fun. Haven't had that much fun in a while.
Everything just gets so serious now-a-days.
I still haven't called the DMV to get my license because i'm lazy. But i'm in no rush because I don't wanna grow up too fast. I can hardly believe my 17th birthday is less than a month away.. It scares me how fast time is flying. It really does.
It's getting cold outside. <3
11/27/11
At this time, a lot of things are happening in my life.
We stopped doing car pool with Jonathan and Melissa because its too annoying and awkward. We haven't talked to Kate since probably March or January this year.. I have grown super close to Courtney this year, and i'm still close with Kirstie. I am not close with Ashley and hardly ever see her anymore. I'd like to see Jess more than I have been. /: Irene, Rachels' friend, is one of the only people who doesn't wanna start drama. Aimee is always trying to pick fights with us.. I mean she says its because we "never stop talking about the Jonas Brothers" at lunch and maybe thats true, but her attitude is just shit.. I mean you could say it in a nice way, don't have to lash out at anybody. I am just sooo freaking sick of immature people, and high school. I'm scared, but anxious for it to be over and done with already...
I have become obsessed with Taylor Swift..
Her Speak Now Tour DVD came out this week and me and Rachel have watched it soo many times. I can't get enough of it. She is so adorable and her music is so easy to relate to. She is my role model.
I tore a ligament in my left shoulder.
On Tuesday night, I went to bed thinking I had heartburn.. My left chest just hurt sooo badly. I started thinking I was gonna have a heart attack. I was scared to death... I was up til 5am that day. Then I woke up at 2pm and I had to go to my friends house to work on a project. I still felt horrible, I knew it had to be something more serious. After I went home, I just broke down crying and Dad freaked out. He asked me what was wrong, and he moved around my arm and tested things, and he said he thought it was a pinched nerve in my left shoulder. I thought this was good, at least it wasn't my heart. The next day was Thanksgiving, so I went and it was still hurting bad. I was taking Ibprofins around the clock and putting a heating pad on it. Then it still wasn't getting better. I was worried and stressed out for days. By Saturday afternoon, Dad started putting ice on it instead and it helped it a little bit. My shoulder had gotten swollen, really bad in the front... I started to flip out, thinking I would have to get surgery or worse, what if it was a tumor? My mind was not a great place to be. By Sunday, I couldn't take it anymore, so we went to Urgent Care. I was crying the entire time because I was nervous, and i'm pretty positive I have a phobia of doctors offices.. Anyway, we got in quickly and the doctor did tons of arm movements testing it, and the problem wasn't that much in my shoulder but more in my collar bone. He said I had torn a ligament in my collarbone. The entire healing process would take anywhere from 2-6 months. I have to wear a sling, ice it, and take Motrin every 12 hours until the pain goes away. Blehhhhh. FML. I'm glad its nothing serious, it relieves a lot of stress for me. But at the same time, I hate that its gonna take so long to recover.
At this time, a lot of things are happening in my life.
We stopped doing car pool with Jonathan and Melissa because its too annoying and awkward. We haven't talked to Kate since probably March or January this year.. I have grown super close to Courtney this year, and i'm still close with Kirstie. I am not close with Ashley and hardly ever see her anymore. I'd like to see Jess more than I have been. /: Irene, Rachels' friend, is one of the only people who doesn't wanna start drama. Aimee is always trying to pick fights with us.. I mean she says its because we "never stop talking about the Jonas Brothers" at lunch and maybe thats true, but her attitude is just shit.. I mean you could say it in a nice way, don't have to lash out at anybody. I am just sooo freaking sick of immature people, and high school. I'm scared, but anxious for it to be over and done with already...
I have become obsessed with Taylor Swift..
Her Speak Now Tour DVD came out this week and me and Rachel have watched it soo many times. I can't get enough of it. She is so adorable and her music is so easy to relate to. She is my role model.
I tore a ligament in my left shoulder.
On Tuesday night, I went to bed thinking I had heartburn.. My left chest just hurt sooo badly. I started thinking I was gonna have a heart attack. I was scared to death... I was up til 5am that day. Then I woke up at 2pm and I had to go to my friends house to work on a project. I still felt horrible, I knew it had to be something more serious. After I went home, I just broke down crying and Dad freaked out. He asked me what was wrong, and he moved around my arm and tested things, and he said he thought it was a pinched nerve in my left shoulder. I thought this was good, at least it wasn't my heart. The next day was Thanksgiving, so I went and it was still hurting bad. I was taking Ibprofins around the clock and putting a heating pad on it. Then it still wasn't getting better. I was worried and stressed out for days. By Saturday afternoon, Dad started putting ice on it instead and it helped it a little bit. My shoulder had gotten swollen, really bad in the front... I started to flip out, thinking I would have to get surgery or worse, what if it was a tumor? My mind was not a great place to be. By Sunday, I couldn't take it anymore, so we went to Urgent Care. I was crying the entire time because I was nervous, and i'm pretty positive I have a phobia of doctors offices.. Anyway, we got in quickly and the doctor did tons of arm movements testing it, and the problem wasn't that much in my shoulder but more in my collar bone. He said I had torn a ligament in my collarbone. The entire healing process would take anywhere from 2-6 months. I have to wear a sling, ice it, and take Motrin every 12 hours until the pain goes away. Blehhhhh. FML. I'm glad its nothing serious, it relieves a lot of stress for me. But at the same time, I hate that its gonna take so long to recover.
JOE JONAS/ JAY SEAN CONCERT!
September 20th, 2011.
Omggg! the concert was AMAZING! We got there at 1pm and there was already like 15 girls there. Then around 3pm, Jay Sean just freaking walked past up with one bodyguard! I was like "HOLY SHIT THATS JAY SEAN" lmfaoo and he asked if we were excited for the show, and I was literally starstruck! It was incredible! Then like right after that, Joe drives right past us in his car, and waves, and we were like OH MYY GODD THATS JOE JONAS! and we were like shaking, so we ran to the parking lot where he was and watched him get out of his car. We were being held back by bodyguards and screaming how much we love him. Then he walked inside the venue and me and my sister broke down crying cause we were so in shock and he was soooo gorgeous! We were waiting outside and then Joe's back up dancer came up and started talking to us! I asked him for a hug an he gave me one! He was sooo sweet and gave amazing hugs! :) Then we waited outside foreverrrrr until 7pm when they finally let us in the venue! and we got soooo freaking close! I couldn't believe it! JoJo performed and she did sooo freaking amazing! She is so talented! Then Jay Sean came on and he did incredible too! I was jumping up and down the whole time and he put on a great show! Then finally Joe came out around 9pm and I literally broke down crying when he came out, I didn't mean to but I couldn't even control it i was so happy to see him, and since we were soooo close I could see him so perfectly! I was screaming and freaking out! Joe did amazing during all the songs and his dancing and singing was soo great! Then we he started to sing old Jonas Brothers songs I started crying again lol. The girls around me were all wearing little dresses and heels and shit, and I was in converse and a Jonas tour shirt haha. They were all looking at me like I was crazy when I was crying but I didn't even care. I was sooo happy and it was AMAZING! Then he closed with Beautiful People and See No More! Then we went to the parking lot and I ran up to his range rover and touched it hahaha. I got so excited and was putting my hands all over the door handles and stuff :p so creepy haha but I was so happy! Then we had to leave cause the valet brought our car but later that night he came out and was meeting fans but by that time we were already gone /: haha. oh well, maybe some other time /: but either way, it was such an INCREDIBLE night and such a great concert! I'm so proud of Joe! :')
Junior Year. <3
So, it is finally my junior year of high school. I'm halfway done.
My schedule:
1st - Contemporary Media - Mrs. Bware
2 - Spanish 3 - Mrs. Martinez
3rd - AP Language Arts - Mrs Alban
4 - Pre-calculus - Mrs Devitt
5 - Physics - Mrs Bergen
Online history & early 6 period release :)
This year, Rachel started coming to school with me. At first, I was nervous just because I didn't know how we would do with this, because we haven't gone to the same school since elementary school, but its actually really great. I eat lunch with her, Aimee, Irene, and sometimes Melissa 3 times a week! :) The part that has been extremely hard is Melissa coming into our world so much. She came from a different school and didn't have any friends, so instead of making her own friends, she attached onto all of Rachel's and there has been a lot of drama between them. It sucks because we are family but it seems like she has changed so much. She flirts with Rachel's ex's and its awkward. And all of Rachel's guy friends keep telling Rachel how much prettier Melissa is. They are such assholes to her.
We do carpool with them everyday, they take us in the morning and we bring them home. Which makes it even harder because we see them sooo much. But we have been getting really close to Aimee again which makes me happy. And she made the water polo team :)
Anyway, schoolwork wise this year is by far the hardest i have had yet. There is sooo much work every night. For physics, almost everything is online on some edmodo website and its so complicated trying to figure out which assignments are due next. She also has a threshold of 80% and if you don't pass with that the first time, you have to keep re-taking it til you do. It's a pain in the ass to say the least. Then I have the most boring teacher on the face of the earth in AP Language Arts. It's impossible to pay attention to her and her reading requirements are so frustrating!
Pre Calculus isn't as hard as I thought it would be, so I am thankful for that. Math tends to keep easy to me, with the exception of Geometry of course haha. I really LOVE having the early release. It's honestly the only thing getting me through the school days. Spanish 3 is a lot harder than I expected though because my teacher only talks in freaking Spanish the whole period and its hard to understand her /: And Jonathan is in that class and yet no one knows we are cousins.
On the bright side, I got my old crush (bingo) haha from middle school in 2 classes. And I got the Joe look a like that I was obsessed with freshmen year in my pre cal class haha. Not sure how much I like them anymore though. They just seem too out of my league and not someone I can actually see myself with. But there's this other guy (Deryck) , he's on varsity football and i've known him since freshmen year. He's really cute and he's in 2 of my classes.
:)
My schedule:
1st - Contemporary Media - Mrs. Bware
2 - Spanish 3 - Mrs. Martinez
3rd - AP Language Arts - Mrs Alban
4 - Pre-calculus - Mrs Devitt
5 - Physics - Mrs Bergen
Online history & early 6 period release :)
This year, Rachel started coming to school with me. At first, I was nervous just because I didn't know how we would do with this, because we haven't gone to the same school since elementary school, but its actually really great. I eat lunch with her, Aimee, Irene, and sometimes Melissa 3 times a week! :) The part that has been extremely hard is Melissa coming into our world so much. She came from a different school and didn't have any friends, so instead of making her own friends, she attached onto all of Rachel's and there has been a lot of drama between them. It sucks because we are family but it seems like she has changed so much. She flirts with Rachel's ex's and its awkward. And all of Rachel's guy friends keep telling Rachel how much prettier Melissa is. They are such assholes to her.
We do carpool with them everyday, they take us in the morning and we bring them home. Which makes it even harder because we see them sooo much. But we have been getting really close to Aimee again which makes me happy. And she made the water polo team :)
Anyway, schoolwork wise this year is by far the hardest i have had yet. There is sooo much work every night. For physics, almost everything is online on some edmodo website and its so complicated trying to figure out which assignments are due next. She also has a threshold of 80% and if you don't pass with that the first time, you have to keep re-taking it til you do. It's a pain in the ass to say the least. Then I have the most boring teacher on the face of the earth in AP Language Arts. It's impossible to pay attention to her and her reading requirements are so frustrating!
Pre Calculus isn't as hard as I thought it would be, so I am thankful for that. Math tends to keep easy to me, with the exception of Geometry of course haha. I really LOVE having the early release. It's honestly the only thing getting me through the school days. Spanish 3 is a lot harder than I expected though because my teacher only talks in freaking Spanish the whole period and its hard to understand her /: And Jonathan is in that class and yet no one knows we are cousins.
On the bright side, I got my old crush (bingo) haha from middle school in 2 classes. And I got the Joe look a like that I was obsessed with freshmen year in my pre cal class haha. Not sure how much I like them anymore though. They just seem too out of my league and not someone I can actually see myself with. But there's this other guy (Deryck) , he's on varsity football and i've known him since freshmen year. He's really cute and he's in 2 of my classes.
:)
Summer 2011 songs:
Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
Girls Fall Like Domino's - Nicki Minaj
See No More - Joe Jonas
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
I Wanna Go - Britney Spears
Last Friday Night - Katy Perry
How To Love - Lil Wayne
Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People
Marvin's Room - Drake & JoJo
Skyscraper - Demi Lovato
Cheers - Rihanna
Just Can't Get Enough - Black Eyed Peas
Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
Girls Fall Like Domino's - Nicki Minaj
See No More - Joe Jonas
Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO
I Wanna Go - Britney Spears
Last Friday Night - Katy Perry
How To Love - Lil Wayne
Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People
Marvin's Room - Drake & JoJo
Skyscraper - Demi Lovato
Cheers - Rihanna
Just Can't Get Enough - Black Eyed Peas
An Old Soul.
I have been living in a world full of hate, sex, drugs, and stupid people. It's really all I know. But when I watch movies, or hear stories about the old days, I wish I was born in a different era. I truly believe I belong in the 1940's. I am disgusted with how the people in this generation are turning out. The music is getting worse and worse, and I wonder, can it ever be the way it used to be? I miss the days of chivalry, when it was normal for men to act like gentlemen. I may be old fashioned, but I like the thought of guys holding doors open for women, and everyone being classy.
I miss the days when it wasn't "having sex" it was "making love". And it actually meant something.
I miss when divorce was unheard of and uncommon. Now it seems like every marriage is failing.
I want to live in the day that The Beatles were famous, and they had true rock and roll music.
People are so consumed by sex, and its everywhere. It's in music, movies, tv shows. There is no getting away from it, and it sucks. Like how am I or anyone supposed to raise good kids in this kind of world? How am I supposed to teach them morals? And value?
I just wish the world wasn't what it is now...
How did we let it get this bad?
I miss the days when it wasn't "having sex" it was "making love". And it actually meant something.
I miss when divorce was unheard of and uncommon. Now it seems like every marriage is failing.
I want to live in the day that The Beatles were famous, and they had true rock and roll music.
People are so consumed by sex, and its everywhere. It's in music, movies, tv shows. There is no getting away from it, and it sucks. Like how am I or anyone supposed to raise good kids in this kind of world? How am I supposed to teach them morals? And value?
I just wish the world wasn't what it is now...
How did we let it get this bad?
Baby, I can feel myself giving up.
I hate faking a smile around you because you can see right through it.. But I can never tell you what's wrong. Because I don't exactly know.. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.
Some days, I just don't know whats wrong. It's just that nothing feels right.
I feel misplaced. People somehow find a way to make me feel like I don't belong.
I'm quiet, but I notice every little thing. I just never say anything.
I try never to blow up. My emotions get so built up sometimes. The tears come fast, and during a time when I really don't want them to come. but I can't help it.
It's not that i'm insecure, I am who I am and proud of it.
But it's that constant reminder of what everyone else wants me to be, that hurts.
It really does.
"I'm not anti-social. Society is anti-me."
(June 2011)
Some days, I just don't know whats wrong. It's just that nothing feels right.
I feel misplaced. People somehow find a way to make me feel like I don't belong.
I'm quiet, but I notice every little thing. I just never say anything.
I try never to blow up. My emotions get so built up sometimes. The tears come fast, and during a time when I really don't want them to come. but I can't help it.
It's not that i'm insecure, I am who I am and proud of it.
But it's that constant reminder of what everyone else wants me to be, that hurts.
It really does.
"I'm not anti-social. Society is anti-me."
(June 2011)
I MET NICK JONAS! :')
June 13th, 2011 2:52pm.
I met my hero. My inspiration. My everything. Nicholas Jerry Jonas.
After a crazy, thrilling weekend in LA, and at the Grove, I met him. It was a short conversation, just throwing my phone in his face before he walked away and asking softly "Nick, Can I have a picture?" He just looked at me, and I melted. He said "sure". We took the picture, and it was done. Yet, it was the most AMAZING experience in my entire life. Best moment ever. I was lucky to get a picture because so many girls were pushing, shoving, and even Rachel didn't get one. After we met him, Papa Jonas waved at me and Rachel. We started screaming.
Then, on the drive back home, we cried the whole way back. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. Just that one picture meant so incredibly much to me and that's something he won't ever know. I've dreamed about this day for years and years and finally I met him.
My dream had been ful-filled.
He is beautiful in person. And that's an understatement. I couldn't believe how flawless his face was, and how tiny and thin his body was. I like to describe it like "it was as if he walked right out of a magazine". I was speechless. We locked eyes twice during his interview, and each time I freaked out inside. His eyes are gorgeous. I couldn't hear a word he said in the interview, because his voice was so soft but it didn't even matter. I had never been so happy.
I love you, Nick Jonas. Thank you. ♥
I met my hero. My inspiration. My everything. Nicholas Jerry Jonas.
After a crazy, thrilling weekend in LA, and at the Grove, I met him. It was a short conversation, just throwing my phone in his face before he walked away and asking softly "Nick, Can I have a picture?" He just looked at me, and I melted. He said "sure". We took the picture, and it was done. Yet, it was the most AMAZING experience in my entire life. Best moment ever. I was lucky to get a picture because so many girls were pushing, shoving, and even Rachel didn't get one. After we met him, Papa Jonas waved at me and Rachel. We started screaming.
Then, on the drive back home, we cried the whole way back. I couldn't believe it. I still can't. Just that one picture meant so incredibly much to me and that's something he won't ever know. I've dreamed about this day for years and years and finally I met him.
My dream had been ful-filled.
He is beautiful in person. And that's an understatement. I couldn't believe how flawless his face was, and how tiny and thin his body was. I like to describe it like "it was as if he walked right out of a magazine". I was speechless. We locked eyes twice during his interview, and each time I freaked out inside. His eyes are gorgeous. I couldn't hear a word he said in the interview, because his voice was so soft but it didn't even matter. I had never been so happy.
I love you, Nick Jonas. Thank you. ♥
The End of 10th Grade
So, my high school sophomore year has officially come to an end.
The time is flying so fast, its seriously scary. I can't believe it.
This school year has been such a roller coaster. There was some really great things, but some really hard times too. Great things, were that I met Kirstie, and we got really close. I really got close to Jessica this year, and the 3 of us along with Courtney started our band "Love Faith and Fear".
Even though we really haven't put up original songs yet, we still started it. And I started driving this school year. I actually got my permit, completed driver's training 1 week earlier than everyone else, and I feel like thats a big accomplishment.
Some bad things this school year, was all the breakdowns I kept having for stupid reasons. I also lost my youtube account in May, which it may sound like nothing, but it meant so much to me. I almost had 500 subscribers (497) and I lost everything.
Seeing Rachel promote from 8th grade was just surreal. It's crazy to think it was already 2 years ago for me! And its even crazier to think I am halfway done with high school. 2 years left. Just Junior & Senior year to go.... That's something I still can't wrap around my head. With how fast time has been flying lately, 2 years will go by so, so quickly. And after high school, I'll start living the college life, wherever that might be... ? I still have no exact idea where I wanna go. I know what I wanna do in my life, but I have no idea what college to go to. /: It's complicated..
The time is flying so fast, its seriously scary. I can't believe it.
This school year has been such a roller coaster. There was some really great things, but some really hard times too. Great things, were that I met Kirstie, and we got really close. I really got close to Jessica this year, and the 3 of us along with Courtney started our band "Love Faith and Fear".
Even though we really haven't put up original songs yet, we still started it. And I started driving this school year. I actually got my permit, completed driver's training 1 week earlier than everyone else, and I feel like thats a big accomplishment.
Some bad things this school year, was all the breakdowns I kept having for stupid reasons. I also lost my youtube account in May, which it may sound like nothing, but it meant so much to me. I almost had 500 subscribers (497) and I lost everything.
Seeing Rachel promote from 8th grade was just surreal. It's crazy to think it was already 2 years ago for me! And its even crazier to think I am halfway done with high school. 2 years left. Just Junior & Senior year to go.... That's something I still can't wrap around my head. With how fast time has been flying lately, 2 years will go by so, so quickly. And after high school, I'll start living the college life, wherever that might be... ? I still have no exact idea where I wanna go. I know what I wanna do in my life, but I have no idea what college to go to. /: It's complicated..
Save Me - Nicki Minaj
This song, is just my addiction right now. Actually a lot of her songs are like; Super Bass, Girls Fall Like Domino's, Knockout. They're all great, but this song is special to me.
I listen to it all the time. It's catchy, and I relate to it a lot, as sad as that is.
Sometimes, really small things get to me. I try to brush it off, but I can't. Like the other day, Rachel was telling me how Jonathan was telling Melissa how beautiful he really thinks Melissa and Rachel are and that they're the kind of girls guys are gonna want in high school. I know thats sweet for them, and I know i'm not the typical "pretty girl" but it still hurts. I may not be what every stupid jock in high school wants but i'm who I am, and that's enough for me. I'm not gonna pretend to be some fake slut just so I can have a boyfriend. Besides, its high school. You'll be lucky if a relationship goes anywhere. I know someday a gentleman will come along, and I'll realize he's exactly what I've been waiting for all this time... but in the meantime... /:
BLEH.
I listen to it all the time. It's catchy, and I relate to it a lot, as sad as that is.
Sometimes, really small things get to me. I try to brush it off, but I can't. Like the other day, Rachel was telling me how Jonathan was telling Melissa how beautiful he really thinks Melissa and Rachel are and that they're the kind of girls guys are gonna want in high school. I know thats sweet for them, and I know i'm not the typical "pretty girl" but it still hurts. I may not be what every stupid jock in high school wants but i'm who I am, and that's enough for me. I'm not gonna pretend to be some fake slut just so I can have a boyfriend. Besides, its high school. You'll be lucky if a relationship goes anywhere. I know someday a gentleman will come along, and I'll realize he's exactly what I've been waiting for all this time... but in the meantime... /:
BLEH.
My 3rd Breakdown
My 3rd breakdown was April 16th, 2011. But this time, it was different. I had been hurting for days, and on this weekend, it sorta just blew up. I felt like Rachel was pushing me away because she was in her room ALL WEEKEND talking to her boyfriend Tanner. Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be happier that she's happy with him, but feeling like we were growing apart was a scary thing for me. She's my BEST FRIEND, the only person I could tell everything and I never wanna lose that. I also was upset because all my friends went to the movies without even inviting me. Then on top of that, I was a nervous wreck that night because the next day I started driver's training. I know it sounds crazy, but I was terrified to go on my first day. What if I crashed? I had never had that much street experience.
This breakdown was different because Mom was here for me. She listened to me talk about my problems, and for once I felt like everything would be okay. I believed it myself. I cried for hours, but she was there holding me. It meant the world to me. Too much stress all at one time just sent me overboard, into a downward spiral. Luckily, we talked everything out and after I felt much better.
Even though the next morning on my first Driver's training I had circles under my eyes from crying so much, I did just fine. It was way better than I thought it would be. And me & Rachel worked things out. Just like Mom said, now everything is okay.
This breakdown was different because Mom was here for me. She listened to me talk about my problems, and for once I felt like everything would be okay. I believed it myself. I cried for hours, but she was there holding me. It meant the world to me. Too much stress all at one time just sent me overboard, into a downward spiral. Luckily, we talked everything out and after I felt much better.
Even though the next morning on my first Driver's training I had circles under my eyes from crying so much, I did just fine. It was way better than I thought it would be. And me & Rachel worked things out. Just like Mom said, now everything is okay.
DRIVER'S PERMIT!
I actually FINALLY passed my Driver's permit! :O I took it on a Monday over the 2nd week of spring break, April 4th, 2011 and I passed missing exactly 8 questions which is how many you can miss! Haha. It's kind of funny how this whole process has taken me since June 2010, but hey procrastination is the key in everything I do. :) haha
Weekend in L.A.
On the weekend on March 19th and 20th, Me Mom and Rachel all went to L.A. to see the Concert For Hope! It was at the Gibson Ampitheater and the JONAS BROTHERS would be playing, their only concert all together in 2011! Also Selena Gomez and Allstar Weekend were playing. This weekend was what I seriously needed. To get away from all the STRESS and DRAMA that school and life has been throwing at me constantly. I really LIVED. And it felt amazing. We went to Pinz blowing alley on Saturday night with high hopes of meeting Nick Jonas. We saw Stalker Sarah ._. But, even though we didn't meet Nick, it was still an incredible night full of adrenaline. It was my first time really being in downtown L.A. at night, and it was fun!
"After a hurricane, comes a rainbow".
So, January 28th was my 2nd breakdown. My first was December 3rd. What I mean by "Breakdown" is feeling so low, and can't stop crying no matter how hard you try. Everything sucks. When i'm constantly over analyzing EVERYTHING in my life, and having a negative outlook on just about everything. I hate having breakdowns, and they scare me. But, after my 2nd breakdown in January, just the next day made everything so much better. It's amazing how you can feel so much pain one day, then be so happy the next...
You cry, but you don't tell anyone...
It's January 28, 2011. I cannot tell you how much HELL these past few days have been.
Yesterday, was Rachel's birthday, so of course all attention on her, which is fine, but when her friends are around, of course she bosses me around and bitches at me all day.
The sad part is - she doesn't even know how bad she is, she thinks its "funny".
Rachel doesn't know how fragile i've been lately. I've cried myself to sleep these past couple nights after she fell sleep because I am stressed out, feeling ignored, in pain, and just so many stupid things. I told myself that by the end of 2010, I would stop doing this but its just so hard. So far 2011, has been better but its still not cured completely and its far from it...
It's just now that Tanner is the "perfect boyfriend" thats ALL she talks about. Thats all she does. She doesn't care about my feelings or anyone else's, and she thinks her insults are funny when they are actually really ofensive. She has just gotten so FREAKING SELFISH, and its honestly driving me insane. I know I shouldn't let her ruin my day, but she does. By the end o the night, I just wind up crying again while she sleeping all peacful and "in love" next to me. It's been 2 God Damn weeks. It's not effing love. But everyone has to talk about relationships and im getting so sick and tired of it. I usually dont mind it, but idk now its really bothering me. On her birthday she told Dad about Tanner, so now even in front of Dad we talk about Rachels boyfriend. It's like "What gives?" God, when will it be MY TURN to find someone special? you know how badly it HURTS to see your sister go through effing 5 boyfriends while I just sit here watching life pass me by.
IT REALLY SUCKS. I've been so sick of my life and everything lately.
I keep telling myself it's gonna get better, but it hasn't been and i'm scared.
The other night on the way to Graziano's in the car, I almost broke down crying right there, but i'm just trying to hold all these emotions in, and keep myself together in front of people. But it's so hard to be strong, and force laughter, and fake smiles.
For once can't I just smile because i'm truly happy?
Yesterday, was Rachel's birthday, so of course all attention on her, which is fine, but when her friends are around, of course she bosses me around and bitches at me all day.
The sad part is - she doesn't even know how bad she is, she thinks its "funny".
Rachel doesn't know how fragile i've been lately. I've cried myself to sleep these past couple nights after she fell sleep because I am stressed out, feeling ignored, in pain, and just so many stupid things. I told myself that by the end of 2010, I would stop doing this but its just so hard. So far 2011, has been better but its still not cured completely and its far from it...
It's just now that Tanner is the "perfect boyfriend" thats ALL she talks about. Thats all she does. She doesn't care about my feelings or anyone else's, and she thinks her insults are funny when they are actually really ofensive. She has just gotten so FREAKING SELFISH, and its honestly driving me insane. I know I shouldn't let her ruin my day, but she does. By the end o the night, I just wind up crying again while she sleeping all peacful and "in love" next to me. It's been 2 God Damn weeks. It's not effing love. But everyone has to talk about relationships and im getting so sick and tired of it. I usually dont mind it, but idk now its really bothering me. On her birthday she told Dad about Tanner, so now even in front of Dad we talk about Rachels boyfriend. It's like "What gives?" God, when will it be MY TURN to find someone special? you know how badly it HURTS to see your sister go through effing 5 boyfriends while I just sit here watching life pass me by.
IT REALLY SUCKS. I've been so sick of my life and everything lately.
I keep telling myself it's gonna get better, but it hasn't been and i'm scared.
The other night on the way to Graziano's in the car, I almost broke down crying right there, but i'm just trying to hold all these emotions in, and keep myself together in front of people. But it's so hard to be strong, and force laughter, and fake smiles.
For once can't I just smile because i'm truly happy?
REPLY FROM NICK JONAS <3
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
On, January 22nd 2011, Nick Jonas was on the cambioconnect twitter replying to a bunch of fans. It didn't exactly say Nick Jonas, but he said he was a Jonas and kept talking about the Administration, Elvis, Texas, and guitar so obviouslllyy its Nick ;P Then I was replying a billion times because I knew not as many people followed cambioconnect so there'd be less replies, which means he could see mine easier (: So, i proceeded to randomly throw in that question asking if he'd go to Winter Formal with me because it was the night of the dance, and he replied "Let me get my tux."
I started screaming, then got all teary-eyed, then cried :')
I couldn't believe it, I mean sure it doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me its everything. I've always wanted a reply from one of the boys and the fact that it was NICK JONAS and he actually read MY tweet and REPLIED with the cutest thing ever ... :) my life was made.
I seriously was so happy for the next like 2 days just for that reason (:
THANK YOU NICK. You seriously had no idea how bad I was needing something to belive in <3
On, January 22nd 2011, Nick Jonas was on the cambioconnect twitter replying to a bunch of fans. It didn't exactly say Nick Jonas, but he said he was a Jonas and kept talking about the Administration, Elvis, Texas, and guitar so obviouslllyy its Nick ;P Then I was replying a billion times because I knew not as many people followed cambioconnect so there'd be less replies, which means he could see mine easier (: So, i proceeded to randomly throw in that question asking if he'd go to Winter Formal with me because it was the night of the dance, and he replied "Let me get my tux."
I started screaming, then got all teary-eyed, then cried :')
I couldn't believe it, I mean sure it doesn't seem like a big deal, but to me its everything. I've always wanted a reply from one of the boys and the fact that it was NICK JONAS and he actually read MY tweet and REPLIED with the cutest thing ever ... :) my life was made.
I seriously was so happy for the next like 2 days just for that reason (:
THANK YOU NICK. You seriously had no idea how bad I was needing something to belive in <3
Sweet 16?
So, the weekend before my 16th birthday was just insane. On Friday, Aimee spent the night and it was so dramatic. Her & Rach went to the movies and Aimee came home bawling and screaming on my bed... I was a bit afraid. Then on Saturday night, I ended up going to Ashley's party, and it was actually so much fun, and i really re-connected with her again. We started talking about our old fanfictions and reminiscing on the past. it was really good for us :')
Then the next day, we went to 6 Flags. The begining of the day was great, we ran over to Viper and finally got to ride everything with Dad (: Then, we went over to Tatsu, then Terminator (or Apocalypse?) then Goliath. All of those were great but Colasuss was closed /: which kinda sucked cause I love that ride. Then we went over to Scream! and we got the end seat, and when we did this one turn, it slammed my head against the side so hard, I could've sworn i got a concussion. Then it continually hit it throughout the ride and I was so dizzy, and in pain. After we got off, we decided we would head back over to Viper area to get Panda for lunch. The lines started getting really long, so we didnt go on much, but we went on Viper 2 more times. then on the 2nd time, I hit my head in the same freaking spot again and that really did it for me /: So when we went to get Panda I told them I was done riding stuff for the day which sucked because I didn't get to ride my favorite ride, X2 yet... but I just had a reallyyyy bad stomach ache and headache ): So we left the park by 3pm.
Then on my actual birthday, I freaking started my period. & no one at school really even knew it was my birthday. I was suffering through REALLY BAD cramps all freaking day. Then it seemed like Jessica might as well have forgotten it because she never even told me happy bday which made me kinda sad.. but Kirstie gave me a small gift, and took me outside. Then she silly sprayed me everywhere. It was pretty funny, but at the end of the day I was a zombie because I was in so much pain. So I just came home and took a bath, watched TV, and turned on the heating pad. It was really bad, so for dinner we got Burger Basket, and the family wouldnt stop talking about the shooting at the high school right where we used to live. It was nasty! Then i took another shower just trying to make myself feel a little better but nothing was working. Then Kate texted me saying she is having a health scare and she might have diabetes. It was just a miserable day, worst day of 2011 so far, and worst birthday so far /:
Then Irene, Rachel's friend sent me this twitlonger:
Gabby, I know I barely know you, but I heard you weren't having such a good day, & I'm really sorry to hear that, I mean it's your birthday, & my goal is to get you to smile after your done reading this twitlonger. Alright, I'm gonna spill out the truth, Gabby freaking Gibson, you are extremely talented. Your music inspires me & leaves me breathless, speechless, lost in thought, practically lost in the world of your lyrics. From the first time I heard one of your songs, I've always pictured you as a mini Taylor Swift. Stating your feelings into the melody of the song. & That's what makes you incredible, because I've never met anyone like you, even though I haven't officially met you, but that's not the point. The point is that your gifted, incredibly gifted. & I am amazed at how better & better your songs keep getting word after word. You inspire me Gabby, & I encourage you to live your dreams, because you seriously have a gift & it needs to be shared with the world. I believe in you. ♥
As soon as I got this, I literally broke down crying. After such a bad day, this seriously made me feel special and happy. I've been needing someone to just tell me everything is gonna be okay, and even though she didn't necesarily say that, it still meant so much to me than I could ever explain. <3
Xoxo.
Then the next day, we went to 6 Flags. The begining of the day was great, we ran over to Viper and finally got to ride everything with Dad (: Then, we went over to Tatsu, then Terminator (or Apocalypse?) then Goliath. All of those were great but Colasuss was closed /: which kinda sucked cause I love that ride. Then we went over to Scream! and we got the end seat, and when we did this one turn, it slammed my head against the side so hard, I could've sworn i got a concussion. Then it continually hit it throughout the ride and I was so dizzy, and in pain. After we got off, we decided we would head back over to Viper area to get Panda for lunch. The lines started getting really long, so we didnt go on much, but we went on Viper 2 more times. then on the 2nd time, I hit my head in the same freaking spot again and that really did it for me /: So when we went to get Panda I told them I was done riding stuff for the day which sucked because I didn't get to ride my favorite ride, X2 yet... but I just had a reallyyyy bad stomach ache and headache ): So we left the park by 3pm.
Then on my actual birthday, I freaking started my period. & no one at school really even knew it was my birthday. I was suffering through REALLY BAD cramps all freaking day. Then it seemed like Jessica might as well have forgotten it because she never even told me happy bday which made me kinda sad.. but Kirstie gave me a small gift, and took me outside. Then she silly sprayed me everywhere. It was pretty funny, but at the end of the day I was a zombie because I was in so much pain. So I just came home and took a bath, watched TV, and turned on the heating pad. It was really bad, so for dinner we got Burger Basket, and the family wouldnt stop talking about the shooting at the high school right where we used to live. It was nasty! Then i took another shower just trying to make myself feel a little better but nothing was working. Then Kate texted me saying she is having a health scare and she might have diabetes. It was just a miserable day, worst day of 2011 so far, and worst birthday so far /:
Then Irene, Rachel's friend sent me this twitlonger:
Gabby, I know I barely know you, but I heard you weren't having such a good day, & I'm really sorry to hear that, I mean it's your birthday, & my goal is to get you to smile after your done reading this twitlonger. Alright, I'm gonna spill out the truth, Gabby freaking Gibson, you are extremely talented. Your music inspires me & leaves me breathless, speechless, lost in thought, practically lost in the world of your lyrics. From the first time I heard one of your songs, I've always pictured you as a mini Taylor Swift. Stating your feelings into the melody of the song. & That's what makes you incredible, because I've never met anyone like you, even though I haven't officially met you, but that's not the point. The point is that your gifted, incredibly gifted. & I am amazed at how better & better your songs keep getting word after word. You inspire me Gabby, & I encourage you to live your dreams, because you seriously have a gift & it needs to be shared with the world. I believe in you. ♥
As soon as I got this, I literally broke down crying. After such a bad day, this seriously made me feel special and happy. I've been needing someone to just tell me everything is gonna be okay, and even though she didn't necesarily say that, it still meant so much to me than I could ever explain. <3
Xoxo.
~Welcoming 2011~
Today, it is January 13th, and honestly a lot has already happened in 2011 for me. Some REALLY GREAT, and some really terrible /: I have so much stress since we started school this week, and its only Thursday of our first week back!
But, the first week of January, was the votig for this contest I entered on youtube, for Mystoni records. I entered my song "KNOCKOUT" just because I liked it but I didn't think much of it really. I clicked on the video for the December winners because I wanted to see but I wasn't expecting anything, and because i didnt even vote! But I checked it and sure enough, "Knockout" by Gabby Gibson was on the winning list! I started shaking & screaming and ran in the hallway to tell rach & Momma. I started crying because I was so happy. This meant my song, was gonna be on iTunes! It was the biggest thing for me in my musical "career" i guess you'd call it. I was so happy. This year my new years resolution was to be fearless about my music and be more confident in it. And what do you know? This song was a blessing in disguise. It was a great moment for me. (:
Anyway, school started back up on the 10th. And on the first day back, there was drama! My schedule got changed, my 3rd period Algebra 2 class changed from Mrs.Cooley to Mrs.Atchley and she is soooo strict on phones and iPods it suckkks! But my lunch changed on 1 3 5 days so I have to eat with either Kirstie and Ashley, and it sucks knowing I have to make a decision like that cause i'm obviously close to both. But today in 5th period I was talking to Jess about this weekend, and she mentioned Ashley having her bday party this weekend, and I was like "What?" And she was like "what? she didnt invite you?" And at that moment I realized she was mad at me. I didn't know what I even did to make her mad but it pissed me off. It was either because 1. She forgot to invite me or 2. She didn't want me there. I couldn't decide which one is worse honestly. But I just felt really hurt and confused, so at that time I did what I know best and poured my heart into a song (:
It's called; "DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU" and I really love it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzd-OabCT-I
"Make fun of other girls, who thought they were the world, now your turning into one"
"We used to be best friends, but things changed , I would say I miss you, but I don't give a crap anymore... " <3
Anyway, Today she invited me, which is 3 days later, and at first I declined. But I realized if I ever want this friendship to work out, we're gonna have to work through this to make it right again. So I said yes, and this saturday i'm gonna stay the night at her house again for the first time in FOREVER. Literally. But, maybe this will be good for us. I turn 16 next Tuesday and couldn't be more excited! And this Sunday we are going to Six Flags to celebrate! I'm super pumped! I'm trying to get my parents to buy me tickets to the Concert for Hope for my birthday. the concert has the Jonas brothers, Selena Gomez, and All Star Weekend and it's at Gibson Amp.! I wanna go sooo bad! Besides, you only turn 16 once and I want it to be unforgetable!
& I found out All Star Weekend is following me on my @JonasCanFly account, even though im not a big fan and I wasn't even following them :P lol But I think it's pretty awesome (:
All in all, January has had a bumpy start, some good and some bad but I'm crossing my fingers this year will be better than 2010, because seriously, for me that was the worst year yet.
XOXO. <3
But, the first week of January, was the votig for this contest I entered on youtube, for Mystoni records. I entered my song "KNOCKOUT" just because I liked it but I didn't think much of it really. I clicked on the video for the December winners because I wanted to see but I wasn't expecting anything, and because i didnt even vote! But I checked it and sure enough, "Knockout" by Gabby Gibson was on the winning list! I started shaking & screaming and ran in the hallway to tell rach & Momma. I started crying because I was so happy. This meant my song, was gonna be on iTunes! It was the biggest thing for me in my musical "career" i guess you'd call it. I was so happy. This year my new years resolution was to be fearless about my music and be more confident in it. And what do you know? This song was a blessing in disguise. It was a great moment for me. (:
Anyway, school started back up on the 10th. And on the first day back, there was drama! My schedule got changed, my 3rd period Algebra 2 class changed from Mrs.Cooley to Mrs.Atchley and she is soooo strict on phones and iPods it suckkks! But my lunch changed on 1 3 5 days so I have to eat with either Kirstie and Ashley, and it sucks knowing I have to make a decision like that cause i'm obviously close to both. But today in 5th period I was talking to Jess about this weekend, and she mentioned Ashley having her bday party this weekend, and I was like "What?" And she was like "what? she didnt invite you?" And at that moment I realized she was mad at me. I didn't know what I even did to make her mad but it pissed me off. It was either because 1. She forgot to invite me or 2. She didn't want me there. I couldn't decide which one is worse honestly. But I just felt really hurt and confused, so at that time I did what I know best and poured my heart into a song (:
It's called; "DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU" and I really love it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzd-OabCT-I
"Make fun of other girls, who thought they were the world, now your turning into one"
"We used to be best friends, but things changed , I would say I miss you, but I don't give a crap anymore... " <3
Anyway, Today she invited me, which is 3 days later, and at first I declined. But I realized if I ever want this friendship to work out, we're gonna have to work through this to make it right again. So I said yes, and this saturday i'm gonna stay the night at her house again for the first time in FOREVER. Literally. But, maybe this will be good for us. I turn 16 next Tuesday and couldn't be more excited! And this Sunday we are going to Six Flags to celebrate! I'm super pumped! I'm trying to get my parents to buy me tickets to the Concert for Hope for my birthday. the concert has the Jonas brothers, Selena Gomez, and All Star Weekend and it's at Gibson Amp.! I wanna go sooo bad! Besides, you only turn 16 once and I want it to be unforgetable!
& I found out All Star Weekend is following me on my @JonasCanFly account, even though im not a big fan and I wasn't even following them :P lol But I think it's pretty awesome (:
All in all, January has had a bumpy start, some good and some bad but I'm crossing my fingers this year will be better than 2010, because seriously, for me that was the worst year yet.
XOXO. <3
Choices, Chances, and Changes: You must make a choice, to take a chance, or nothing will ever change.
2010 WAS
-The year of coming out of the closet for TONS of people
-The year of goodbye's
- The year of shaky friendships
-The year of lonely lunches
-The year of a short (6 week) summer ):
-The year I failed my permit
-The year freaking Justin Bieber ruined music.
-The year Jersey Shore was the best show, and Ke$ha was God$ha? What even!?
-The year Demi Lovato went to rehab for Anerexia & Cutting /:
-The year Miley lost control (Drugs, Slut, Parents Divorce)
-The year Nick Jonas & the Administration had their first tour.
-The year I started showing more people my music.
-The year I felt rejected and alone
-The year I questioned what I really want in life..
2011 is a new begining. It's time for change. <3
-The year of goodbye's
- The year of shaky friendships
-The year of lonely lunches
-The year of a short (6 week) summer ):
-The year I failed my permit
-The year freaking Justin Bieber ruined music.
-The year Jersey Shore was the best show, and Ke$ha was God$ha? What even!?
-The year Demi Lovato went to rehab for Anerexia & Cutting /:
-The year Miley lost control (Drugs, Slut, Parents Divorce)
-The year Nick Jonas & the Administration had their first tour.
-The year I started showing more people my music.
-The year I felt rejected and alone
-The year I questioned what I really want in life..
2011 is a new begining. It's time for change. <3
MY MUSIC/LYRICS<3
They say that time is of the essence, but its slipping away, just slipping away. They say that good things always happen to people who wait, and wait, and wait..
The way they look at me, as im walking down the hall like i just don't fit in. You make yourself so tough and act like i'm so small, too bad im not giving in...
I'm sorry if i'm A LITTLE DIFFERENT. I'm sorry if i fall short of perfect! I'm sorry that I don't care about all your F A K E FRIENDS. I'm sorry if im not good enough. but you'll never change who i am. So good ahead and give me that innocent look, but your never gonna understand.... oh!
So T A K E me AWAY, lets Runaway together, to a secret place, where we could spend forever. Just hold my hand i promise i'll never let it go, oh. And sing me to sleep TODAY and everyday. Whispering "everything will be okay" It's raining hard but it can't rain forever.. let's R U N A W A Y together...<3
The way they look at me, as im walking down the hall like i just don't fit in. You make yourself so tough and act like i'm so small, too bad im not giving in...
I'm sorry if i'm A LITTLE DIFFERENT. I'm sorry if i fall short of perfect! I'm sorry that I don't care about all your F A K E FRIENDS. I'm sorry if im not good enough. but you'll never change who i am. So good ahead and give me that innocent look, but your never gonna understand.... oh!
So T A K E me AWAY, lets Runaway together, to a secret place, where we could spend forever. Just hold my hand i promise i'll never let it go, oh. And sing me to sleep TODAY and everyday. Whispering "everything will be okay" It's raining hard but it can't rain forever.. let's R U N A W A Y together...<3
Dear Nick Jonas....
Dear Nick Jonas,
I love you more than anyone (even you) will ever understand.
I don't know what it is.. maybe when everyone else falls, you shine like gold, and give me something to believe in and be happy about everyday. I couldn't live without you. Just knowing we are under the same moon every night gives me strength to go on tomorrow. Just with the slightest hopes that someday we can meet. I hate to say it, but im afraid to meet you, because i dont want it to be a dissappointment. Although im nearly positive it'd be the happiest day of my life either way, am i willing to take that risk?
I just love everything about you. Your personality thats awkward, sensitive, romantic, adorable.
I love your passion for music and your drive for anything you want to do. I think your voice is beautiful and i can honestly say your one of the best singers i've ever heard live, in my life. I make up this world in my head where we know each other and I fantasize about conversations we could have, and so many things that just make me sound pathetic if i ever told anyone. But to me your the most beautiful person living in this dark world, inside and out.
I love EVERYTHING about you, with EVERYTHING in me.
Xoxo.<3
I love you more than anyone (even you) will ever understand.
I don't know what it is.. maybe when everyone else falls, you shine like gold, and give me something to believe in and be happy about everyday. I couldn't live without you. Just knowing we are under the same moon every night gives me strength to go on tomorrow. Just with the slightest hopes that someday we can meet. I hate to say it, but im afraid to meet you, because i dont want it to be a dissappointment. Although im nearly positive it'd be the happiest day of my life either way, am i willing to take that risk?
I just love everything about you. Your personality thats awkward, sensitive, romantic, adorable.
I love your passion for music and your drive for anything you want to do. I think your voice is beautiful and i can honestly say your one of the best singers i've ever heard live, in my life. I make up this world in my head where we know each other and I fantasize about conversations we could have, and so many things that just make me sound pathetic if i ever told anyone. But to me your the most beautiful person living in this dark world, inside and out.
I love EVERYTHING about you, with EVERYTHING in me.
Xoxo.<3
Things i've learned...
These are just things i've learned about myself and about life..
1. I'm always gonna be emotional and cry about little things because its how i am. I hate being so sensitive and how the simple things make me burst into tears.
2. I HATE rejecting people or feeling like im letting people down. I always feel like im inclined to say yes in some situations even if i dont want to, and im horrible at letting a guy know i dont like him and have a problem with leading them on. I really dont mean too though /:
3. There are just some things i can never tell anyone because NO ONE understands... this was hard for me to realize because i ALWAYS thought i would have Rachel to turn to, and i do, but i realize now there are some things i should just keep private, as hard as it is.
4. I am the worlds biggest procrastonater. Literally. And im very lazy and i hate those things about myself. I won't get things done till the last second and now with most of my homework, if i dont get it done at school then i dont do it, and thats a super bad habit. I am able to keep a good grade but it still worries me that i let myself do it everytime.
5. I don't really want a boyfriend right now. For the longest time, ive always been stressing about not having a boyfriend yet, but lately actually thinking about having a boyfriend, and i dont need one now. I'm already stressed about so much happening in my life, and i dont wanna have to hang out with this guy every second of the day or text him every minute like all couples do at my school. I don't need to share my life with a guy right now anyway. I'm okay with that.
6. Rachel can be very bossy. I know most of the time shes only messing around but once she has started this little attitude thing, it sticks. And she will never stop talking about her 'boyfriends' but what do you really call a middle school relationship anyway?
7. I am scared of the future. I am scared of tomorrow, i am scared of next year, im afraid of moving out one day and living life out on my own. Like honestly, i cant stand the thought of growing up and it makes me sad. "Stop This Train" - John Mayer <3 describes these emotions perfect.
8. I am afraid of loosing someone i love. I am terrified at the though of loosing one of my parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, or Papa, anyone. Loosing sophie in 7th grade was the worst thing thats ever happened to me and i cried for 4 days straight and that was just an animal. I will be a complete WRECK if something bad happens.
9. I know im at the age where im gonna start driving, but im actually very afraid of driving. Seeing car accidents on the freeway make me want to get sick and i know im not all that great of a driver, so im so nervous about getting behind the wheel whether its on a street or freeway.
10. I LOVE NICK JONAS. i know this is the most pathetic on the list, but i know i do, and i know that no one can understand what i feel for him. but ive learned to accept the fact that everyone is gonna joke about it and say its not true. But i know it is. I would do ANYTHING for him, and i love everything about him. I see no flaws in him, and he's everything i ever wanted...
Bleh.
1. I'm always gonna be emotional and cry about little things because its how i am. I hate being so sensitive and how the simple things make me burst into tears.
2. I HATE rejecting people or feeling like im letting people down. I always feel like im inclined to say yes in some situations even if i dont want to, and im horrible at letting a guy know i dont like him and have a problem with leading them on. I really dont mean too though /:
3. There are just some things i can never tell anyone because NO ONE understands... this was hard for me to realize because i ALWAYS thought i would have Rachel to turn to, and i do, but i realize now there are some things i should just keep private, as hard as it is.
4. I am the worlds biggest procrastonater. Literally. And im very lazy and i hate those things about myself. I won't get things done till the last second and now with most of my homework, if i dont get it done at school then i dont do it, and thats a super bad habit. I am able to keep a good grade but it still worries me that i let myself do it everytime.
5. I don't really want a boyfriend right now. For the longest time, ive always been stressing about not having a boyfriend yet, but lately actually thinking about having a boyfriend, and i dont need one now. I'm already stressed about so much happening in my life, and i dont wanna have to hang out with this guy every second of the day or text him every minute like all couples do at my school. I don't need to share my life with a guy right now anyway. I'm okay with that.
6. Rachel can be very bossy. I know most of the time shes only messing around but once she has started this little attitude thing, it sticks. And she will never stop talking about her 'boyfriends' but what do you really call a middle school relationship anyway?
7. I am scared of the future. I am scared of tomorrow, i am scared of next year, im afraid of moving out one day and living life out on my own. Like honestly, i cant stand the thought of growing up and it makes me sad. "Stop This Train" - John Mayer <3 describes these emotions perfect.
8. I am afraid of loosing someone i love. I am terrified at the though of loosing one of my parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, or Papa, anyone. Loosing sophie in 7th grade was the worst thing thats ever happened to me and i cried for 4 days straight and that was just an animal. I will be a complete WRECK if something bad happens.
9. I know im at the age where im gonna start driving, but im actually very afraid of driving. Seeing car accidents on the freeway make me want to get sick and i know im not all that great of a driver, so im so nervous about getting behind the wheel whether its on a street or freeway.
10. I LOVE NICK JONAS. i know this is the most pathetic on the list, but i know i do, and i know that no one can understand what i feel for him. but ive learned to accept the fact that everyone is gonna joke about it and say its not true. But i know it is. I would do ANYTHING for him, and i love everything about him. I see no flaws in him, and he's everything i ever wanted...
Bleh.
Tied Together With A Smile...
So lately life has been rough for me. Me and Rachel got our braces put on and they hurt soooo badly. We couldn't eat hardly anything for the first couple days and the dentist said it would "be miserable" but i had no idea it'd be that bad. And idk, ive just been really depressed and stressed out lately. Rachel has been dealing with rumors at school with her bf Austin and rumors of her wearing a 'push up' bra and on friday she lost her phone... So on top of dealing with the pain of braces she's been in a really bad mood lately. And of course if Rachel is in a bad mood, then EVERYONE is in a bad mood because she just kinda brings me down when shes like that. And the focus of everything goes to her. She seems to capture all the attention and everyone forgets about me..
"Your tied together with a smile but your coming undone"
Idk just recenetly, for the past couple days, i've become so unconfident in myself and my self-esteem has gone faster than dust in the wind. It's like my mouth is still getting used to the braces and i have a slightttt lisp when i talk or at least talk fast. My friends make fun of me for it EVERY SINGLE chance they get and it really brings me down. I know they don't mean it but i don't care it pisses me off when they do it again and AGAIN. On Friday, i cried myself to sleep and i don't even really know why.. i just have so much going on. I can't eat anything because of the freaking braces, so i keep getting pissed off, then im just in pain and everyone is making fun of me, its just been complete hell this past week... ):
So, last night i wrote "Runaway Together" (12/3/10) cause its about me wanting to get out of here, and runaway with nick jonas -_- yes i know, im a dreamer but he inspires me in everything i do. I swear. It's like i hear a love song, i think of nick. i hear a dirty club song, i think of nick. i hear a ghetto song - i think of nick! IDK what even is that but it just happens.
Also we found out that my Algebra 2 class is getting split up second semester. Which is just GREAT. it's the same thing that happened last year all over again. I pray that they dont eff up my entire schedule cause i will be soo pissed. Ugh. I'm just gonn pray everything gets better.
DMV test this Monday. I'm afraid to death of failing. ): BLAH.
"Your tied together with a smile but your coming undone"
Idk just recenetly, for the past couple days, i've become so unconfident in myself and my self-esteem has gone faster than dust in the wind. It's like my mouth is still getting used to the braces and i have a slightttt lisp when i talk or at least talk fast. My friends make fun of me for it EVERY SINGLE chance they get and it really brings me down. I know they don't mean it but i don't care it pisses me off when they do it again and AGAIN. On Friday, i cried myself to sleep and i don't even really know why.. i just have so much going on. I can't eat anything because of the freaking braces, so i keep getting pissed off, then im just in pain and everyone is making fun of me, its just been complete hell this past week... ):
So, last night i wrote "Runaway Together" (12/3/10) cause its about me wanting to get out of here, and runaway with nick jonas -_- yes i know, im a dreamer but he inspires me in everything i do. I swear. It's like i hear a love song, i think of nick. i hear a dirty club song, i think of nick. i hear a ghetto song - i think of nick! IDK what even is that but it just happens.
Also we found out that my Algebra 2 class is getting split up second semester. Which is just GREAT. it's the same thing that happened last year all over again. I pray that they dont eff up my entire schedule cause i will be soo pissed. Ugh. I'm just gonn pray everything gets better.
DMV test this Monday. I'm afraid to death of failing. ): BLAH.
Me, Kirstie, & Jessica <3
"Forever could never be long enough for me, to feel like i've had long enough with you" <3 -Marry me by Train. (:
November 2010
So my life is really hecktic at the moment. At least next month will be so this month ive been preparing for the craziness. I'm on Thanksgiving break at the moment and tomorrow is already Sunday /: I hate school. Yoga is way harder than i expected. And Chemistry i have a bad feeling im not doing so well in, and Algebra 2 is harder than i expected also ): I'm getting really lazy with homework and just not doing it. It makes me feel bad and stupid because i find im falling behind in classes. Luckily i still have an 'A' in Algebra somehow haha. I think i pass all the tests.. But with friends everything is good. I think i've come to realize that me and Ashley D can be friends but its never gonna be the same as it used to be. That used to hurt me really bad, but now ive come to realize i dont need her in my life as much as i used to anyway. It was a long hurtful process to understand all of it, but im glad i did because i wouldve been hurting my whole life. She's just all DRAMA and she says she hates it, but honestly, i think she loves the drama in her life. Im happy how i am now with Jessica and Courtney as my best friends at school. And next year Rachel will finally be coming to Santiago, so i know she'll be there too (: Which makes me very happy and excited.
So December 1st, me and Rach are getting braces ): UGH i'm gonna have them till Senior year!
Then December 6th i take my test at the DMV to hopefully get my permit :) Crossing my fingers! Then I have to finish online history and get good grades in all my classes and prepare for finals week all by December 17th! Ugh so stressful. Im busting my butt haha. Hopefully everything will work out according to plan cause if not, i really have no idea what im gonna do ): Please God!<3
So December 1st, me and Rach are getting braces ): UGH i'm gonna have them till Senior year!
Then December 6th i take my test at the DMV to hopefully get my permit :) Crossing my fingers! Then I have to finish online history and get good grades in all my classes and prepare for finals week all by December 17th! Ugh so stressful. Im busting my butt haha. Hopefully everything will work out according to plan cause if not, i really have no idea what im gonna do ): Please God!<3
Never Forget Me (10/23/09)
"These tears fall down so naturally,
now i know it wasn't meant to be,
but i'll never forget about you.
Wonder how you are - where you've been?
If you've ever thought about me again..?
I'll ask you please, don't forget about me.."
Cause I fell for you just a little too fast,
Couldn't stop myself before i crashed.
These nights have never felt so long.
And i held my breathe, cause the night you left
made a hole inside my chest so please
NEVER FORGET ME <3
now i know it wasn't meant to be,
but i'll never forget about you.
Wonder how you are - where you've been?
If you've ever thought about me again..?
I'll ask you please, don't forget about me.."
Cause I fell for you just a little too fast,
Couldn't stop myself before i crashed.
These nights have never felt so long.
And i held my breathe, cause the night you left
made a hole inside my chest so please
NEVER FORGET ME <3
So i've been playing guitar for a year now, since last October. Me and my friends (Kirstie, Jessica, and Courtney) are thinking about starting a band. It's called "Love, faith & Fear". At first, i thought it was the best idea ever, because we could sing my songs and everthing would work out perfect. but its been really tough. jessica hasnt been able to make any rehersals because of her Mom, and Courtney plays piano, but i just dont write songs with piano in them :/ So idk what were gonna do. jessica is supposed to play drums, but we dont have a drum set and she's never played drums before. They really wanna use my song "Take Me Back" as the bands first 'single' i guess you would call it. And idk how i feel about the whole thing so im just gonna wait and see what happens. They also really like my song "Knockout" and i didnt even write it with inspiration, i wrote it because i felt like i had to, and i dont like it as much just because i put no emotion into it.... So idk but. BLEH.
JONAS CONCERT 9/19/10
So me and Rach got there at like 1pm and the concert didn't start till 7! Ridiculous lol but we stood in line with a bunch of snobby bitches who were going to soundcheck and meeting them -_- they wouldnt stop rubbing it in. Anyway Ashley and cristina got there around 3pm and we waited on the lawn. Then we went to wait where the cars were coming in. Then the Jonas family was pulling up and i saw the back of Nicks head like legit a freaking foot away form me. And i was waving like a crazy person at Jack Lawless, he saw me and smiled so i felt so happy (: Mama and Papa jonas also looked at us and we were waving at them. Then HONOR SOCIETY pulled up in a small car with all four of them and we waved and screamed and they were just laughing and waving at us! It was amazing!
We waited in line to get in with Grant and Ava and their friends! We could hear soundcheck! Haha i wanted to be there so bad (: Then we finally got in, stood in the longest merch line everrrr, saw Chloe Bridges! in person! Shes freaking gorgeous!!! Haha then FINALLY got to our seats. The Camp Rock people came out first and were actually really good and entertaining. Then DEMI came out (: She did incredible! I loved all her songs! Especially GOT DYNAMITE! There were explosions everywhere! It was insane! Then a nick Jonas look a like was going around taking pics with everyone :P lol. FINALLY the JONAS BROTHERS!!!! came out around 9pm. I loved every song they performed! My favorites were LA Baby (because we are La :P) and Drive My Car, and Who I Am, because at the end Nick was like "You love me for who i am and i love you guys, it was so sweet (: Also during Introducing Me he sang it in 1:54! it was incredible! Even though he soaked the front row :P hahaha but Lovebug was also amazing cause they wore little white jackets! Haha and in Your Biggest Fan, the little black girl from Jonas LA sang with them! And Frankie came out during LA Baby! Big Rob during Burnin up! and Ashley Greene was in the audience. So many celeb's haha :P Really GREAT night! I also loved the Wouldn't Change a Thing duet (: Nicholas played drums! haha sexy! hahaha. Such an incredible night! Whenever i listen to "FIRE" by Mdot it totally reminds me of this night <3
Unfortunatly it was a sunday night - so ick the next day we had school :/ So I had a 2-4-6 day which was YOGA, then freaking CHEMISTRY, then Animation ): Dreadful day but it was all okay because i still felt like i was on cloud 9 all day (:
I'll never forget it. <3
We waited in line to get in with Grant and Ava and their friends! We could hear soundcheck! Haha i wanted to be there so bad (: Then we finally got in, stood in the longest merch line everrrr, saw Chloe Bridges! in person! Shes freaking gorgeous!!! Haha then FINALLY got to our seats. The Camp Rock people came out first and were actually really good and entertaining. Then DEMI came out (: She did incredible! I loved all her songs! Especially GOT DYNAMITE! There were explosions everywhere! It was insane! Then a nick Jonas look a like was going around taking pics with everyone :P lol. FINALLY the JONAS BROTHERS!!!! came out around 9pm. I loved every song they performed! My favorites were LA Baby (because we are La :P) and Drive My Car, and Who I Am, because at the end Nick was like "You love me for who i am and i love you guys, it was so sweet (: Also during Introducing Me he sang it in 1:54! it was incredible! Even though he soaked the front row :P hahaha but Lovebug was also amazing cause they wore little white jackets! Haha and in Your Biggest Fan, the little black girl from Jonas LA sang with them! And Frankie came out during LA Baby! Big Rob during Burnin up! and Ashley Greene was in the audience. So many celeb's haha :P Really GREAT night! I also loved the Wouldn't Change a Thing duet (: Nicholas played drums! haha sexy! hahaha. Such an incredible night! Whenever i listen to "FIRE" by Mdot it totally reminds me of this night <3
Unfortunatly it was a sunday night - so ick the next day we had school :/ So I had a 2-4-6 day which was YOGA, then freaking CHEMISTRY, then Animation ): Dreadful day but it was all okay because i still felt like i was on cloud 9 all day (:
I'll never forget it. <3
Finally a SOPHMORE!<3
So, August 11th was the first day of school -_- so lame that its this early in summer! Only a 6 week summer is ridiculous! ): Anyway my schedule goes something like this;
1. Spanish 2 - Mr. Hathaway
2. Yoga - Mrs. henderson
3. Algebra 2 - Mrs. Cooley
4. Chemistry - Mrs. Knapp/ Mr. LeBlond/ Mrs. R
5. Language Arts - Mrs. Peterson (BEST TEACHER EVER)
6. Animation - Mr. Wilson
So my favorite teachers are perios 1,5, and 6. because Mr hathaway is so freaking funny, mrs peterson is the sweetest and reminds me of selena gomez :P and Mr Wilson is so awesome and treats me like an adult (: I'm also taking online History which at first i thought would ve the best idea ever, but now its not as easy as i thought it'd be. I just hope next year i get early release :P The school year is starting off bumpy but its alright. At least my friendships have gotten better. I made a new friend named Kirstie Q. And I hang out with Jessica all the time now, and we've grown really close. Same with Courtney (: Kirstie, after being friends for 2 months told me she's bi sexual and despite the awkwardness, im glad she trusts me enough to tell me, cause i know how hard that can be. This year is starting off good (:
1. Spanish 2 - Mr. Hathaway
2. Yoga - Mrs. henderson
3. Algebra 2 - Mrs. Cooley
4. Chemistry - Mrs. Knapp/ Mr. LeBlond/ Mrs. R
5. Language Arts - Mrs. Peterson (BEST TEACHER EVER)
6. Animation - Mr. Wilson
So my favorite teachers are perios 1,5, and 6. because Mr hathaway is so freaking funny, mrs peterson is the sweetest and reminds me of selena gomez :P and Mr Wilson is so awesome and treats me like an adult (: I'm also taking online History which at first i thought would ve the best idea ever, but now its not as easy as i thought it'd be. I just hope next year i get early release :P The school year is starting off bumpy but its alright. At least my friendships have gotten better. I made a new friend named Kirstie Q. And I hang out with Jessica all the time now, and we've grown really close. Same with Courtney (: Kirstie, after being friends for 2 months told me she's bi sexual and despite the awkwardness, im glad she trusts me enough to tell me, cause i know how hard that can be. This year is starting off good (:
Summer Song of 2010:
Permanent December - Miley Cyrus
Passenger Seat - The Summer Set
I Like It - Enrique Iglesias
What I Do - Chris Brown
Physical - Glee Cast
I Know You Got A Man - Ludacris
If I Had you - Adam Lambert
Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus
La Baby - Jonas LA
Starstruckk - Lady GaGa
Fresh I Stay - Flo Rida ft. Lil Wayne
Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Miley Cyrus
Club Can't Handle Me - Flo Rida
Right Girl - The Maine
Memories - Kid Cudi
Teach Me How To Douggie - Cali Swag District
Apology - SafetySuit
<3
Permanent December - Miley Cyrus
Passenger Seat - The Summer Set
I Like It - Enrique Iglesias
What I Do - Chris Brown
Physical - Glee Cast
I Know You Got A Man - Ludacris
If I Had you - Adam Lambert
Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus
La Baby - Jonas LA
Starstruckk - Lady GaGa
Fresh I Stay - Flo Rida ft. Lil Wayne
Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Miley Cyrus
Club Can't Handle Me - Flo Rida
Right Girl - The Maine
Memories - Kid Cudi
Teach Me How To Douggie - Cali Swag District
Apology - SafetySuit
<3
Forever young, I wanna be FOREVER YOUNG. <3 do you really want to live forever? - 6/17/10
May 2010- "It's amazing how fast I'm getting a better idea of Who I Am, and who I want to be someday... After all this crap and experience I have a better understanding of myself, and what I want in life" : )
"Your shirt has wrinkles, but you still wear it with pride. To hell with people who just live to see you cry" - In A Second;Gabby Gibson 5/10/10
Boys, Boys!, BOYS!
5/26/10 -
That title may sound a bit crazy, but its been true. I am currently liking 3 guys, and it may sound ridiculous, so I will explain everything. 1.Dylan, 2.Isaiha, and 3.Connor. Lets just started from the top.
1.Dylan- Dylan is actually my Dad's best friends son, and that is how we met. We were practically forced to go to a hockey game with each others familys. I have been going to tutoring at his house, getting tutored by his sister Desiree, who I am now pretty close with. She is a senior, and Dylan is a softmore. He also happens to be in my PE period. He is way adorable, and has beautiful hazel-ish eyes and a great smile.
2.Isaiah- Isaiha is this guy that sits next to me in spanish. I've known him all year, but never thought of him as boyfriend type. But this last month has been so different. He flirts with me everyday, and he always wants to hold my hand or arm in some way. He also got a haircut, which looks adorable, and its even harder to resist him now. He tells me he 'loves me' all the time, every time i see him, and today when I was walkng to biology, he screamed it from the top of the stairs. I stopped to see what the heck he was doing, and he ran up to me and threw his arms around me, and found out his class is 2 classes down from my 6th period. I usually wouldn't think of stuff like that, but there's been so many signs before this, and I don't want to start really liking him, because I may be overthinking it all and he may not like me at all....
3.Conner- Lets just say I haven't made the attempt of talking to him yet... But I was switched into his biology class this semester, and he is in my PE period also. He is one of the most adorable people ever, and looks ridiculously like Joe Jonas. Especially when he wears his little box glasses and slicks back his hair. He really is superrrr cute, but unfortunatly probably couldn't tell you what my name is if you asked....
That title may sound a bit crazy, but its been true. I am currently liking 3 guys, and it may sound ridiculous, so I will explain everything. 1.Dylan, 2.Isaiha, and 3.Connor. Lets just started from the top.
1.Dylan- Dylan is actually my Dad's best friends son, and that is how we met. We were practically forced to go to a hockey game with each others familys. I have been going to tutoring at his house, getting tutored by his sister Desiree, who I am now pretty close with. She is a senior, and Dylan is a softmore. He also happens to be in my PE period. He is way adorable, and has beautiful hazel-ish eyes and a great smile.
2.Isaiah- Isaiha is this guy that sits next to me in spanish. I've known him all year, but never thought of him as boyfriend type. But this last month has been so different. He flirts with me everyday, and he always wants to hold my hand or arm in some way. He also got a haircut, which looks adorable, and its even harder to resist him now. He tells me he 'loves me' all the time, every time i see him, and today when I was walkng to biology, he screamed it from the top of the stairs. I stopped to see what the heck he was doing, and he ran up to me and threw his arms around me, and found out his class is 2 classes down from my 6th period. I usually wouldn't think of stuff like that, but there's been so many signs before this, and I don't want to start really liking him, because I may be overthinking it all and he may not like me at all....
3.Conner- Lets just say I haven't made the attempt of talking to him yet... But I was switched into his biology class this semester, and he is in my PE period also. He is one of the most adorable people ever, and looks ridiculously like Joe Jonas. Especially when he wears his little box glasses and slicks back his hair. He really is superrrr cute, but unfortunatly probably couldn't tell you what my name is if you asked....
New Stalker... Great
So there's this guy named Shawn, and he sits behind me in health. He sent me a message on facebook on tuesday, that I didn't recieve till friday afternoon when I checked my facebook messages. It said:
"hey all the talk today in health made me realize i really like you and yoou are beautiful and i want to be with you. so i was wondering if i could have your phone number and if we can go out sometime and just get to know each other better. i promise i will take care of you and i am agood christian (so i think) and i just want you to give me a chance. if u say no then its ok and i hope we can just stay as friends but make our friendship better Thanx for everything Ttyl
PS i like the glow in ur eyes lol "
I thought it was the sweetest thing eve and was unsure about what to do so I left it, figuring I'd come back and figure it out later.
Then Friday night, I went to the movies with Ashley, and had a great night, watching The BackUp Plan, until after when Ashley was complaining that some guy wouldn't stop texting her. I eventually figured out it was Shawn! She said that he kept asking her to hang out and if she had a boyfriend, but she told him she doesn't date two faced guys. He flipped out and Ashley said "Does the name Gabby sound familiar?" He was going crazy like how do you know her and crap, then she said "She's been my BFF since 1st grade!" and he said he didn't know and he was sorry. Bunch of drama. But I replied to him on facebook and said I just want to be friends, and he seemed okay with it. the only thing I'm second guessing myself on is giving him my number. I really dont want him to stalk me, like so many other guys have.
"hey all the talk today in health made me realize i really like you and yoou are beautiful and i want to be with you. so i was wondering if i could have your phone number and if we can go out sometime and just get to know each other better. i promise i will take care of you and i am agood christian (so i think) and i just want you to give me a chance. if u say no then its ok and i hope we can just stay as friends but make our friendship better Thanx for everything Ttyl
PS i like the glow in ur eyes lol "
I thought it was the sweetest thing eve and was unsure about what to do so I left it, figuring I'd come back and figure it out later.
Then Friday night, I went to the movies with Ashley, and had a great night, watching The BackUp Plan, until after when Ashley was complaining that some guy wouldn't stop texting her. I eventually figured out it was Shawn! She said that he kept asking her to hang out and if she had a boyfriend, but she told him she doesn't date two faced guys. He flipped out and Ashley said "Does the name Gabby sound familiar?" He was going crazy like how do you know her and crap, then she said "She's been my BFF since 1st grade!" and he said he didn't know and he was sorry. Bunch of drama. But I replied to him on facebook and said I just want to be friends, and he seemed okay with it. the only thing I'm second guessing myself on is giving him my number. I really dont want him to stalk me, like so many other guys have.
A Night to Remember Forever
Today,(4/30/10) I believe, is the day things are starting to turn around finally. me and Ashley D have grown so much closer in the past month than expected, and possibly even more than before this thing started. I couldn't be happier about our re-newed friendship. Tonight, was a night I will never forget, and will be one of my highlights of Freshman year. Me, Ashley, Jessica, and Courtney went out to see Santiago's "Somewhat true story of Robin hood". Not only did we have such a fantastic time watching the play and laughing, but before the play and after was the best part. We just got to lay in the grass before the play and watch drumline which is super interesting. despite some drama between Ashley and Courtney for some reasons, it was a great night. After the play was over, we were running around on campus goofing off. We laid on the quad for 20 minutes or so and watched the stars, then decided to go in the front of campus. We sat around the flag pole for a while, then went over on the big grass area in front of the huge "Santiago" painting in the picture. We were super close to it, and it was larger than life up close. We goofed off, sugar high from one cupcake, and rolled around in the grass. Then we all decided to make a pact. 'When we are all juniors, we will join Theater'. I couldn't have asked for a better night. Truly had the time of my life thanks to those girls. (:
Life throws another curve ball-
3/15/10
So as of right now, Ashley Nicholls hates me, Kelly im pretty sure hates me, and me and Ashley DeBano are possible bff's again. Today was one of the worst days ever and somewhat a very good day. It was the first day me and Ashley D. started to hang out again and I feel right back at home, despite a few awkward moments but thats expected. But it was a horrible day, in the sense that I feel like I've really hurt people around me. Kelly was pissed at me, and in a way i know where she's coming from, I just wish she wouldn't have been so mean because its not easy for me either. She just comes up to me "What's your problem?" and "Well she's not the devil, so I'm still gonna hang out with here". I was crushed when she ignored me the whole day when her locker is right next to mine, but she will have her way and hopefully be able to forgive me someday. I just couldn't take it anymore with Ashley Nicholls! She was annoying and disagreed with me on Everything! It was like we send more time argueing than smiling and laughing and thats important to me. I just really, really hope things can smooth out between me and Ashley D. Things are going good so far, but its still only been a day.
New Semester-
It's been different this semester. I still see Izzy walking around campus sometimes, and I'll admit a part of me hurts its like he doesnt even say hi to me after everything we've been through. But I've had a bumpy ride already with new guys in my health class. I actually really, really like this class. It lets you think about your life and focus on improvement you can make to be more healthy. Plus, I sit in front of this guy named Ben, he's 17, and next to a guy named Daniel whose 16. They are both really cute, but Daniel is a dick! Like not even joking, a nasty-ass pig. Thankfully I realized that sooner than later. I like hanging with Ben because when I'm talking to him, it seems like he's interested in what i have to say and not like im talking to a wall. It's different, and he always seems eager to talk to me, which is a good thing (:
Today has been a crazy day. I really hope time heals everything, because the first day is always the worst right? BTW Jonas update: Jemi is legit!!! (: Joe & Demi sitting in a tree! haha I know but I have never been more happy about the boys dating a celeb. Joe and Demi are perfect for each other!!! <3
Anyway, Love Gabby xoxo
So as of right now, Ashley Nicholls hates me, Kelly im pretty sure hates me, and me and Ashley DeBano are possible bff's again. Today was one of the worst days ever and somewhat a very good day. It was the first day me and Ashley D. started to hang out again and I feel right back at home, despite a few awkward moments but thats expected. But it was a horrible day, in the sense that I feel like I've really hurt people around me. Kelly was pissed at me, and in a way i know where she's coming from, I just wish she wouldn't have been so mean because its not easy for me either. She just comes up to me "What's your problem?" and "Well she's not the devil, so I'm still gonna hang out with here". I was crushed when she ignored me the whole day when her locker is right next to mine, but she will have her way and hopefully be able to forgive me someday. I just couldn't take it anymore with Ashley Nicholls! She was annoying and disagreed with me on Everything! It was like we send more time argueing than smiling and laughing and thats important to me. I just really, really hope things can smooth out between me and Ashley D. Things are going good so far, but its still only been a day.
New Semester-
It's been different this semester. I still see Izzy walking around campus sometimes, and I'll admit a part of me hurts its like he doesnt even say hi to me after everything we've been through. But I've had a bumpy ride already with new guys in my health class. I actually really, really like this class. It lets you think about your life and focus on improvement you can make to be more healthy. Plus, I sit in front of this guy named Ben, he's 17, and next to a guy named Daniel whose 16. They are both really cute, but Daniel is a dick! Like not even joking, a nasty-ass pig. Thankfully I realized that sooner than later. I like hanging with Ben because when I'm talking to him, it seems like he's interested in what i have to say and not like im talking to a wall. It's different, and he always seems eager to talk to me, which is a good thing (:
Today has been a crazy day. I really hope time heals everything, because the first day is always the worst right? BTW Jonas update: Jemi is legit!!! (: Joe & Demi sitting in a tree! haha I know but I have never been more happy about the boys dating a celeb. Joe and Demi are perfect for each other!!! <3
Anyway, Love Gabby xoxo
1/27/10
Rachel turned 13 today! & I have to say I had a wonderful birthday myself (: last week! It was rainging and it was just really great! The only thing that kinda sucks now, is that this week is Finals week. Todays wednesday so im already finished with 4/6 of my finals. I took my bio + spanish one today and im not sure how i feel about them yet /:
Anyway, ive kinda been pissed off at my school because next semester they decided to split up our 5th period Mr Palermo language arts class into 4 sections to go to the other classes, all for some stupid study thing. That was my favorite class, and he was my favorite teacher... On top of that, next semester i wont have computers anymore, ill have health. Tomorrow is my last day of both classes /: kinda dissappointed about that. Tomorrow is the last day I see Izzy, also. Bummer. I guess friends is all we're EVER going to be... Oh well, what can you do?
Anyway, the only thing thats kept me going this whole week is knowing by friday night, the 29th, we will be rocking out at our Nick Jonas concert! It's going to be the best 'End of Finals' celebration i could ever ask for! I'm so excited, and lately ive been getting butterflies everytime i think about it Im praying to God that something magical happens that night, as it did on August 7th. After he waved at us that afternoon, I was the happiest girl on the planet. I just wish something incredible could happen, but really, seeing him live is amazing by itself. (: Hopefully I'll get some pretty awesome pictures at the concert, if not, darn haha. Tonight me and Rach are gonna listen to Nick's album for the first time :) im pretty excited, then later tonight, Joe Jonas is guest judging american idol! i cant wait for that either! Many things to look forward too haha, but now I must go :)
Update later,
Love, Gabby
Anyway, ive kinda been pissed off at my school because next semester they decided to split up our 5th period Mr Palermo language arts class into 4 sections to go to the other classes, all for some stupid study thing. That was my favorite class, and he was my favorite teacher... On top of that, next semester i wont have computers anymore, ill have health. Tomorrow is my last day of both classes /: kinda dissappointed about that. Tomorrow is the last day I see Izzy, also. Bummer. I guess friends is all we're EVER going to be... Oh well, what can you do?
Anyway, the only thing thats kept me going this whole week is knowing by friday night, the 29th, we will be rocking out at our Nick Jonas concert! It's going to be the best 'End of Finals' celebration i could ever ask for! I'm so excited, and lately ive been getting butterflies everytime i think about it Im praying to God that something magical happens that night, as it did on August 7th. After he waved at us that afternoon, I was the happiest girl on the planet. I just wish something incredible could happen, but really, seeing him live is amazing by itself. (: Hopefully I'll get some pretty awesome pictures at the concert, if not, darn haha. Tonight me and Rach are gonna listen to Nick's album for the first time :) im pretty excited, then later tonight, Joe Jonas is guest judging american idol! i cant wait for that either! Many things to look forward too haha, but now I must go :)
Update later,
Love, Gabby
15th Birthday! (:
1/15/10
So, so far 2010 isnt a complete failure, but its not exactly a dream come true either. I've been stressing out like a mad person and things have gotten pretty tough. In geometry, I had a quiz, pretty simple, and got a C- on it. Then on the 19th i have a huge chapter 7 exam. Then I have finals on the 26th! It really sucks. I hate geometry and I hate stressing out over something like that! It drives me insane!
Tonight was a fairly good night. Since its my birthday weekend ;) i got to pick dinner. So I choose Carls Jr ;) then we ate dinner and Mom & Dad wanted to give me a gift early so i could use it over the weekend. They got me the new SING IT!!! It's so amazing and I love it so much! And after that we watched the Critic's Choice Awards because Nick Jonas was gonna perform on them. The most dreadful, stupidest, waste, of 2 hours. Big mistake watching that lame-ass show. /: It was horrible, nick barely sang on the side, and the damn lady kept cutting him off, I was pissed. I found out later that his performance was during the red carpet... when we weren't watching. Now that's fan dedication. and love ;). trueeeee love haha.
Anyway school is sucking more and more, like not even close to kidding. I feel so alone, without any friends who like the Jonas bros and without my best friend.... I've actually been writing songs like crazy about pain and sorrow and it helps a little but really isnt making me heal. I don't know what to do anymore. Ashley N. is calling me her best friend in the world. While I'm still trying to figure out if she's really friend material to me. I mean she's just SOOOOOOOO immature, and it bugs the crap out of me. It really does. I mean who waves at seniors?? Like a tweenie bopper? and who chases (literally) after her friends crush just to meet him, look stupid, and say hi? It's ridiculous. And she's almost gone too far when I can't put up with it anymore.
I don't know what to do..... /:
Tonight was a fairly good night. Since its my birthday weekend ;) i got to pick dinner. So I choose Carls Jr ;) then we ate dinner and Mom & Dad wanted to give me a gift early so i could use it over the weekend. They got me the new SING IT!!! It's so amazing and I love it so much! And after that we watched the Critic's Choice Awards because Nick Jonas was gonna perform on them. The most dreadful, stupidest, waste, of 2 hours. Big mistake watching that lame-ass show. /: It was horrible, nick barely sang on the side, and the damn lady kept cutting him off, I was pissed. I found out later that his performance was during the red carpet... when we weren't watching. Now that's fan dedication. and love ;). trueeeee love haha.
Anyway school is sucking more and more, like not even close to kidding. I feel so alone, without any friends who like the Jonas bros and without my best friend.... I've actually been writing songs like crazy about pain and sorrow and it helps a little but really isnt making me heal. I don't know what to do anymore. Ashley N. is calling me her best friend in the world. While I'm still trying to figure out if she's really friend material to me. I mean she's just SOOOOOOOO immature, and it bugs the crap out of me. It really does. I mean who waves at seniors?? Like a tweenie bopper? and who chases (literally) after her friends crush just to meet him, look stupid, and say hi? It's ridiculous. And she's almost gone too far when I can't put up with it anymore.
I don't know what to do..... /:
2010 ~ Year of No Fear <3
So I kind of can't believe it's 2010. already, its beyond me how time went by so fast. My birthday is a week from today :D so exciting. Todays January 11th and I am turning 15. How time flies. Mom pulled out the old photo album today and it really did make me realize how fast time's been flying, and to live each moment like you'll only live it once because TIME FLYS. I got kind of teary eyed coming across old photos. It was so long ago and thinking of who i am now and all that i've become. All I can do is thank my parents so much for raising me right, and raising me close to my sister. Rachel is my bestest friend, ever. Without her, I'd be alone. I love her to death.
As for High School, it seems to be getting worse by the day. I don't even know what to make of it anymore. And the headaches aren't going away either. I've been to the doctor's 4 times in the past month and took blood tests! D: Those were just aweful! So, the semester is coming to an end quickly and I guess its time to say goodbye to izzy. As sad as it makes me, it kind of makes me happy to think maybe there's someone better in health. Or possibly even a new friend. A "BFFE" as some would call it.
Also, about Nick Jonas. He's on tour right now and our concert is so long away but i get butterflies just thinking about it. Im so excited, and I falling in love with him more and more each day. As pathetic as that sounds, (REALLY PATHETIC I KNOW) its really true. Ask anyone close to me and they could tell you how much I love him. He wrote a song called 'Stay' and its so beautiful. he sings it with such passion that he is in tears, and so is everyone in the crowd, or in some cases behind a computer screen.... Anyway, he's becoming the copycat again :P I swear to it. I learned a song by taylor Swift on guitar, and the next night he covered it at his concert. He moved his purity ring from his finger to his dogtag which i did long ago! Also his new years goal is to 'drink more water' and the doctor said im not drinking enough water so i HAVE to drink more! It may sound stupid but, i think its awesome (: I just think it's funny (:
I guess that's all for now. All of 2010 so far. Is it going good? I don't know. Not exactly my favorite year so far. But hey, neither was 2009. That's enough talking for now. I'll update later.
<333 xoxo, Gabby
As for High School, it seems to be getting worse by the day. I don't even know what to make of it anymore. And the headaches aren't going away either. I've been to the doctor's 4 times in the past month and took blood tests! D: Those were just aweful! So, the semester is coming to an end quickly and I guess its time to say goodbye to izzy. As sad as it makes me, it kind of makes me happy to think maybe there's someone better in health. Or possibly even a new friend. A "BFFE" as some would call it.
Also, about Nick Jonas. He's on tour right now and our concert is so long away but i get butterflies just thinking about it. Im so excited, and I falling in love with him more and more each day. As pathetic as that sounds, (REALLY PATHETIC I KNOW) its really true. Ask anyone close to me and they could tell you how much I love him. He wrote a song called 'Stay' and its so beautiful. he sings it with such passion that he is in tears, and so is everyone in the crowd, or in some cases behind a computer screen.... Anyway, he's becoming the copycat again :P I swear to it. I learned a song by taylor Swift on guitar, and the next night he covered it at his concert. He moved his purity ring from his finger to his dogtag which i did long ago! Also his new years goal is to 'drink more water' and the doctor said im not drinking enough water so i HAVE to drink more! It may sound stupid but, i think its awesome (: I just think it's funny (:
I guess that's all for now. All of 2010 so far. Is it going good? I don't know. Not exactly my favorite year so far. But hey, neither was 2009. That's enough talking for now. I'll update later.
<333 xoxo, Gabby
This is just great.
Last night, december 9th, i told eric how i feel, about not liking him, and he wasnt texting me back, so i said i still wanna be friends. He said he does too, but today at school, he barely talked to me, and he didnt say w ord to me the first hour of class, and he's not looking me in the eyes the way he used to. I feel horrible because i think i really hurt him /:
Also, its weird, i keep having nightmares, like every night. I always wake up freaked out and glad it was just a dream. I'm completely stressed out over boys, schoolwork, frienships, Blah! Winter break isnt coming fast enough /: I've been writing songs like a crazy person and have been getting great results (: The songs are really good, the lyrics are so deep now. One of the songs i wrote include these lyrcics: "I'm so hard on myself, because I fear to fail, the stress is building up, but you cant tell, Cause im always smiling even with a broken heart, sometimes i just got to get back up and restart" another part of the songs include "The stress is building up more each day, i hate when i run out of things to say, the silence kills me like nothing else, the tick of the clock haunts me from the shelf, and the days are going faster" I just wonder...where does my life go from here? will it ever get better....?
Also, its weird, i keep having nightmares, like every night. I always wake up freaked out and glad it was just a dream. I'm completely stressed out over boys, schoolwork, frienships, Blah! Winter break isnt coming fast enough /: I've been writing songs like a crazy person and have been getting great results (: The songs are really good, the lyrics are so deep now. One of the songs i wrote include these lyrcics: "I'm so hard on myself, because I fear to fail, the stress is building up, but you cant tell, Cause im always smiling even with a broken heart, sometimes i just got to get back up and restart" another part of the songs include "The stress is building up more each day, i hate when i run out of things to say, the silence kills me like nothing else, the tick of the clock haunts me from the shelf, and the days are going faster" I just wonder...where does my life go from here? will it ever get better....?
Winter Formal '09
So... Winter Formal was fun and all, but i just decided i don;t have feelings for him and its not like i can lie or fake it, or pretend, its just that i dont like him. I cant do anything about it. The hard thing is im gonna have to tell him. I just have to figure out how to say it to him first. The dance was fun, but most of the time it was kind of awkward, considering i dont dance like a slut and we were probably the only none-couple there. But i have to adit i really really liked the slow dances, it was so relaxing, een though he is 6'0, and im 5'3. The thing is even though i was with him that whole night, i still had dreams about 'senior boy' , the nickname ive had for him since the day i met him, literally. patheic, lol. Anyway, im just gonna have to figure out how to say it whether its face to face or over text, he needs to know--
& Just when i thought everything might be ok, it all comes crashing down again.
i think its time i build a new wall.
i think its time i build a new wall.
First Day Back
It's even harder to try and like someone when I'm busy liking someone else. I don't know what to do with the boys. One guy likes me, but I like him as a friend, and I like another guy, and don't think he even likes me. It sucks. As with friends, I tried texting Ashley DeBano last night, and it worked at first, everything seemed to be normal again, we would meet for lunch about halfway through and spend sometime alone, for once in months. The of course, jackass boyfriend Chris steps in the way and says he doesn't want that, he wants her all to himself. He's so self absorbed and the worst part is she doesnt even see how he's controling her, and it pisses me off to no end. He's pulling us apart and she doesn't realize it. I miss her but I guess its time to move on. Her and her dumbass boyfriend can live in freakin happily ever after....
Jealousy is a disease – GET WELL SOON!
Thanksgiving Break
So now its finally Thanksgiving break, but right before we went off, something big happened. Eric asked me to go to Winter Formal with him. At first I didn't know what to say, but after a lot of thought I said okay. I think I have the dress picked that I'm gonna wear, now I just need the shoes. It's gonna be super fun and its on December 5th. The thing I like about him is that he's so easy to talk to and I'm completely comfortable. I don;t get nervous at all. The ony thing is I dont know how good of a thing that is because what if that means I don;t have any feelings for him at all. He texts me all the time, and usually i'd be phsyched but for some reason with him im almost annoyed /: Im just gonna see how that night goes. Then I'll take it from there. ---
Christmas Photos Today:
Me & My Dad could've been considered twins if we were both in High school right now. I look so much like him when he was younger, its crazy! :) I love my Daddy
The Drama right now is killing me, it really is. My Dad saw me crying, and I couldn't control it, I felt stupid. Then Mom came up and told me everything would be okay eventually. I really hope their right, cause this is just tearing my heart apart. I just can't do this anymore. </3
Ashley DeBanoNovember 8 at 1:59pm Report i know i'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but i just want to clear everything up and try to make us work again. To be honest i have no idea what i did to make you mad. If its cause you think Chris and all the other girls are more important than you....bullshit. thats not true. You know i've known you longer than all of them. we have done so much stuff together and gone through so much that none of them could replace you. It really sucks not having my best friend there anymore...and i'm not even kidding..i'm crying right now. i want to know what i did to make you so mad at me, that it has deystroyed our friendship. i never wanted this to happen...ever...but if you feel that its best for us not to be friends anymore...then i respect that. i'll leave you alone and move on...but i really do miss you. you are my best friend, you always have been. i hope you read this. please message me back. -ashley
Gabby GibsonNovember 8 at 2:24pm ok, it just seems like our lives are drifting apart, and your leading down a different path. I mean now that you have Chris and everyone else it just seems like I'm never included anymore, I mean your with them all the time, on nights of football games, during stuff on saturdays and I just don't fit in with all of you. I never wanted it to end as badly as it did, but I was just sick of it by that point. all the dropping hints on facebook and twitter, that I knew were directed at me but you never came to me to talk about it. but it just seems like we never have time for us anymore, just me and you. whenever I wanted to do something with you, Lauren was invited, or both of our weekends were busy. It's not that I have anything against Lauren or chris, and I miss you too, but things have changed, and we really cant change that. It's killing me too, because I really miss you, but it'll never be the same, as it used to. -Gabby
Ashley DeBanoNovember 8 at 1:59pm Report i know i'm probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but i just want to clear everything up and try to make us work again. To be honest i have no idea what i did to make you mad. If its cause you think Chris and all the other girls are more important than you....bullshit. thats not true. You know i've known you longer than all of them. we have done so much stuff together and gone through so much that none of them could replace you. It really sucks not having my best friend there anymore...and i'm not even kidding..i'm crying right now. i want to know what i did to make you so mad at me, that it has deystroyed our friendship. i never wanted this to happen...ever...but if you feel that its best for us not to be friends anymore...then i respect that. i'll leave you alone and move on...but i really do miss you. you are my best friend, you always have been. i hope you read this. please message me back. -ashley
Gabby GibsonNovember 8 at 2:24pm ok, it just seems like our lives are drifting apart, and your leading down a different path. I mean now that you have Chris and everyone else it just seems like I'm never included anymore, I mean your with them all the time, on nights of football games, during stuff on saturdays and I just don't fit in with all of you. I never wanted it to end as badly as it did, but I was just sick of it by that point. all the dropping hints on facebook and twitter, that I knew were directed at me but you never came to me to talk about it. but it just seems like we never have time for us anymore, just me and you. whenever I wanted to do something with you, Lauren was invited, or both of our weekends were busy. It's not that I have anything against Lauren or chris, and I miss you too, but things have changed, and we really cant change that. It's killing me too, because I really miss you, but it'll never be the same, as it used to. -Gabby
We're No Longer Friends
So on the night of Thursday, November 5th, it all blew up. All hell broke loose. On Facebook. She added a bumper sticker that I had on my page and started to say how she didn't push me away and that I just backed away. Then I posted one and she did and so on, then at the end of the night, I unfriended her from facebook, and she called me a bitch on her twitter. Shed said: Wow, I never thought it would come to this...sad day. Bitch. Here are the fights:
Craziness
So now, I barely talk to her anymore. My nicknames for them so I don't get them mixed up is Debano and Nicholls. Now I'm becoming really great friends with Nicholls, I went trick or treating with her this year and had a blast. Everyone at home seems to like her too :) everythings been so much better. But with DeBano everything we've ever had is going down the drain. I sent her a message on facebook telling her everything I felt, and she replied saying I'm so glad you talked to me about it. But the thing that got me was when she put, me Chris and Lauren are equally important to her. Really? Equally? So now this guy that you've known for 2 months is equally important as your best friend of over 8 years!? I was pissed off. Maybe I'm being selfish but it really did hurt. I don't go over there in the mornings that much anymore, and I've ditched DeBano twice during lunch, and sat with Nicholls. I have lunch with Nicholls everyday so I pretty much eat with her everyday now. And even Nicholls thinks its weird how close DeBano is to Chris when they've only been together for 1 month and a half. I really really like Nicholls as a friend and don't wanna ruin this. DeBano can seriously kiss my ass goodye, unless she comes to me first. I'm so sick of her waiting for me to come with her with our problems when honestly, she probably misses me more then I miss her.
The best Quote right now:
& You ask why I haven't talked to you. Well maybe its because you slowly started pushing me out of your life. I'm glad yor f i n a l l y noticing.
Oh and with him, he's acting all weird. And I'm kind of pissed at myself for getting my hopes up. I should've known better, he is a senior and he is a boy. Just like the others. he came off as sweet but now I don't even know what to think and it makes me sooo frustrated /: ugh i just wish the semester would end and I'd be out of computers and in Health, where there might actually be a great guy, whether he'd be a friend or more, it'd be better than nothing.
I wrote this about him:
& For the longest time, I thought, you were the one,
To sweep me off my feet, but baby, I'm done
Done pretending that you care, for me, for us
I thought I had a chance. now I need, to re-adjust.
The best Quote right now:
& You ask why I haven't talked to you. Well maybe its because you slowly started pushing me out of your life. I'm glad yor f i n a l l y noticing.
Oh and with him, he's acting all weird. And I'm kind of pissed at myself for getting my hopes up. I should've known better, he is a senior and he is a boy. Just like the others. he came off as sweet but now I don't even know what to think and it makes me sooo frustrated /: ugh i just wish the semester would end and I'd be out of computers and in Health, where there might actually be a great guy, whether he'd be a friend or more, it'd be better than nothing.
I wrote this about him:
& For the longest time, I thought, you were the one,
To sweep me off my feet, but baby, I'm done
Done pretending that you care, for me, for us
I thought I had a chance. now I need, to re-adjust.
The "Date" :) 10-23-09
So I couldn't even eat dinner before I had to go, which was a shame cause it was McDonalds, but anyway then mom and Rachel came and dropped me off. he was still on his way, and then he tapped me on the shoulder and was like heyy. he had his hair in a FoHawk and it looks sooo good like that :) Then he reached out to give me a hug, and that hug was soooo great <33 Then we started walking over to the ticket line having small talk along the way, and we both got our tickets to see "Cirque Da Freak: The Vampire's Assistant". Once we got inside the place we walked to the theater and sat down in the middle-ish. Then we watched the movie and the movie was soooo weird, and freaky. haha, *plus another detail is that he smelt really good, ahh :P ,anyway after the movie he was like well that was an interesting movie huh? I was like yeahh, and then we were walking out and he said we could get picked up at Wendy's. So we walked over to Wendy's and he had to borrow my phone cause his wasn't getting any reception, lol. Then once we got almost to Wendy's it was like no one else was around, just me and him, it was really nice. I was walking on the curb and he was on the side of the street so I was actually his height for a few feet. :) Then we stopped in front of Wendy's and sat on the edge of the curb and just talked. I could talk to him about anything and everything, so it was really nice. Then Mom finally pulled up right next to us in the car, and I got up, said "see you Monday" then gave him a huge like we did before :)) and got in the car. Rach and Mom said he was totally cute, so I was pretty happy. Tonight was a great night, and it turned out much better than I had even hoped.
Favorite Part of the Night: Sitting on the curb at Wendy's just talking, me and him, no one else around<33
Favorite Part of the Night: Sitting on the curb at Wendy's just talking, me and him, no one else around<33
OH MY GOSH
Okay, so lets start out from the begining, Wednesday night, Bunco night, with Kate and a bunch of girls. I was texting him :) and then we were in the middle of conversation and he says So what are you doing Friday night? I say nothing, of course :P and then he says "Well I promised you a date, soo how about we go to the movies". and i start spazzing out cause he used the word Date. But Im also confused since I don't really know if it is or not....
Then Kate starts freaking out and shes like "Your Going on a Date!!" So after bunco I went back home smiling from ear to ear, and I was nervous as heck the rest of the week. Anytime I thought about it I couldn't even breath! Especially by Friday I got really nervous...
Then Kate starts freaking out and shes like "Your Going on a Date!!" So after bunco I went back home smiling from ear to ear, and I was nervous as heck the rest of the week. Anytime I thought about it I couldn't even breath! Especially by Friday I got really nervous...
Floating on a Cloud... I think
Okay, so I think I may have been falling for this guy, my code for him is SB, and i don't know if I like him or not, some days i think i really might, some days not so much. Whenever he starts to get on my nerves or think i don't really like him, he'll do something that'll completely change my track of mind.Then i started getting this vibe that he didn't like me, the next day he asked for my number. Then a new girl comes in class, of course its a pretty girl thats a sophmore, he talked to her the whole period on Friday. I was pretty pissed, not gonna lie. Then that weekend he texted me and said. "I like that you like to talk and your open, and that your mature for your age, and dont act like a spaz, and i feel like i can tell u anything, oh and ur cute ;)" When I asked him what he liked about me. Then today I started getting that same feeling, like he likes this other girl better than me, then he places his hand on my shoulder as I leave, and while we text ;ater at night, he says "I know this is off topic but if you ever want to talk to me about anything, I like to talk, so if you ever need to talk about something, feel free to throw it at me". I mean, what am I supposed to think of that? I 'Aweeeddd" out loud :P I guess I just love how when he texts me, he says my name, and he puts Gaby, with on b, but I don't even care... I think its cute :P
I don't know if these are all signs telling me I like him, and I need some help. Haha. The only problem is that I'm a Freshman....and he's a senior......... /:
As if he'd actually be into a FRESHMAN.....
I don't know if these are all signs telling me I like him, and I need some help. Haha. The only problem is that I'm a Freshman....and he's a senior......... /:
As if he'd actually be into a FRESHMAN.....
When will it stop? /:
So, school isn't getting any better. My best friend doesn't even know me anymore, and I don't know her either. She's changed into a whole different (more bitchy) person. And it really sucks. I never thought I'd hate high school this much. I want to get all my anger out somehow, because sometimes writing songs isnt enough for me. Some people write mean letters and never send them, some take it out on other people, and some people just let it eat them alive until they can't take it anymore and hurt someone very close to them. I think what I need to do is make a list. A list of things I hate. So here I go:
-I hate the nicknames you have for each other
-I hate the way you have "convo's" over Facebook and never tell me about them
-I hate how you joined band, when we both said we'd quit, and then call me the trader
-I hate that you expect me to hide some things from my parents, when my parents mean more to me than you ever will
-I hate that you make fun of your sister, when my sister is my true best friend and she'll always have my back no matter what happens
-I hate how he's always with you, and even when he makes fun of me, you don't do anything about it, you just say "you're sooo mean" in that stupid "flirty" voice
-I HATE how you like to stay afterschool till 30 minutes after the bell rings so you can makeout with your boyfriend in the band room while your Mom thinks your catching up with friends
-Lastly, I HATE how I feel like I'm being replaced by her.
I could go on and on all day about more things but I'm gonna keep it short and sweet.
Point to this post, things need to change, immediatly. Plan on "Things Change" begins Tomorrow.
-I hate the nicknames you have for each other
-I hate the way you have "convo's" over Facebook and never tell me about them
-I hate how you joined band, when we both said we'd quit, and then call me the trader
-I hate that you expect me to hide some things from my parents, when my parents mean more to me than you ever will
-I hate that you make fun of your sister, when my sister is my true best friend and she'll always have my back no matter what happens
-I hate how he's always with you, and even when he makes fun of me, you don't do anything about it, you just say "you're sooo mean" in that stupid "flirty" voice
-I HATE how you like to stay afterschool till 30 minutes after the bell rings so you can makeout with your boyfriend in the band room while your Mom thinks your catching up with friends
-Lastly, I HATE how I feel like I'm being replaced by her.
I could go on and on all day about more things but I'm gonna keep it short and sweet.
Point to this post, things need to change, immediatly. Plan on "Things Change" begins Tomorrow.
"Inside I'm dying, Don't want to let ou go, We worked so hard and, Outside I'm crying, My heart won't admit, What my mind already knows" -Honor Society, Goodnight my Love
Starting High School
So, this September, I started high school, and let me tell you, its already been a wild ride. Me and my best friend have been friends since 1st grade, but things have changed since 8th grade. It's not the same as it used to be. Not in a good way. =( Let's just say i miss the way our friend ship used to be. Now, she has a boyfriend and I'm always feeling like the 3rd wheel. It seems with everything now-a-days I'm feeling like the 3rd wheel :/ I'm never really included in anything. All my friends are in band, and they are always upset at me for not joining this year, but I didn't want to be labeled in high school, and have to be seen marching in that hideous uniform. They really can't let it go. On the first day of high school, in my favorite class, I met a boy, he is a senior and I feel like he is the only person I can talk to. I didn't really start crushing on him since about last week, but i've noticed I'm able to talk to him about anything, and I'm always smiling, when i walk into the class and see him across the room. He asked for my number and we've texted a bit. He sent me the sweetest thing: "I like that your not a spaz lie the other freshman, and your mature for your age, and I feel like I can tell you anything, oh and ur cute :P" ...From that moment on, I was sure I liked him. But I still don't know if he meant cute like, a puppydog cute, or if he actually likes me, and its driving me insane! Over the past couple month's, I've really noticed zhow much my family means to me. My sister is my best friend, and my parents support me through anything. It feels good to know i have such support and love because i know that not everyone gets that.
Wow, I've typed a lot :) I basically made this website so I can keep track of whats going on with everything, and be able to get my thoughts down, without anyone else really knowing.... I will update pretty often, so this is the first blog of many :) Thanks, SecretThoughts
Wow, I've typed a lot :) I basically made this website so I can keep track of whats going on with everything, and be able to get my thoughts down, without anyone else really knowing.... I will update pretty often, so this is the first blog of many :) Thanks, SecretThoughts
"It's hard to wait around for something you know may never happen. But it' even harder to give up - when you know its everything you ever wanted."
Songs of Summer 2009:
So Contagious - Acceptance
I Must Be Dreaming - The Maine
Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus
Underdog Album - Forever the Sickest Kids
Rock Your Body - Black Eyed Peas
So Contagious - Acceptance
I Must Be Dreaming - The Maine
Party in the USA - Miley Cyrus
Underdog Album - Forever the Sickest Kids
Rock Your Body - Black Eyed Peas
Summer of 2009
Going from 8th grade to 9th grade. I went to Washington DC in June which was one of the best and coolest vacations of my life. I'll never forget it. Then in July for, 4th of July, we went to Mammouth with Grant and Ava! haha the black eyed peas new album came out so we were constantly listening to "The E.N.D." haha. This was the summer i first got my laptop and Rachel was still in school so i spent every night on jonasfanfictionarchive :P and i discovered sony vegas videos! I became a huge fan of Jelena (Joe Jonas & Selena Gomez) when i watched the video of them to So Contagious by Acceptance. I also spent everyday teaching myself piano by ear because rachel was at school all day and i was bored. I learned fly with me by jb first because i entered their fly with me cover contest! haha and then i learned songs by demi lovato like catch me, and honor society songs (: I tried learning guitar but it was just not gonna happen at the time.. lol. Then in August we went to Washington state and experienced one of the best trips of my life too. It was for Ryan and Sabrina's reception. I took my laptop and we went tubing with Staci and Jake which gave memories i'll never forget :P I fell off sooo many times but had the time of my life (: We went to the Lynden fair with Sabrina and Sherri, we got to go the fire station that Jake works at and have dinner at Jake and Staci's cute little house :P i loved it. We went to a Japenese steakhouse with Ryan and Sabrina and the food tasted nasty! LOL we taught sherri how to "pop" hahaha. we met a kid my age named Luis and played pool with him and soccer. Then we went to go sleep in the tents but ryan got drunk and there was a big firepit and it was scary so we came back inside. haha. good times! i wanna move to Washington or to a small town place like that! <3 What a great summer!